Struggling with toddler possibly asd

[SunnyBunnies2]

I love him to bits, he can be really sweet and loving but he also has another side to him that I’m really struggling with. He’s going through asd assessment and it’s looking likely we’ll get a diagnosis. He currently doesn’t talk, not one word, and doesn’t understand simple instructions. I’m crying as I’m typing this as I’ve just had enough and don’t know what to do. I know his behaviour isn’t his fault but I feel like just doing a runner (I wouldn’t) His tantrums are awful, he will throw things, throw himself on the floor and bite himself, bang his head on the floor. I can’t have anything nice in the living room as he just purposefully breaks them. He hits, bites and scratches me, he will run at me and pull my hair and laugh. We were in the supermarket before and he grabbed my phone out of my hand and threw it and the screen smashed. I feel awful for this thread as I do love him of course and he’s my world but I just have to let it all out😞

This sounds so difficult. MN has an SEN board. I would report your post and ask MN to move it there so you can get some experienced sounding board/advice. Ask on your local Facebook parenting page if there are any SEN facebook or meet up groups for parents too.

@Summerishereagain thank you, I will do that

Good luck. X

OP it sounds so hard. I have one DC who is on the spectrum, and when he was a toddler / young child, his meltdown was EPIC. So much so that I sometimes had to remove myself not to get hurt by him thrashing. Many nights spent worried about him and us as a family.

How old is your DC? Mine is now in primary, nearly going off to secondary soon and he is improved so much. Not easy, just easier than those early years I find... Good luck. You are already doing an amazing job.

@Rainwind65 Sorry to hear you went through something similar, it’s so, so hard and I feel for anybody that is going through or has gone through it. He turned 2 in feb and I am worried and scared things will only get worse as he gets older. It’s so hard not knowing what the future will be like. Thank you

Hi there, my 5 year old ds was same when he was that age. Things got better with early intervention. Identifying his needs help a lot. Has he seen by an occupational therapist for sensory profile? Have you started using pecs to communicate, now and next board? Have you applied for DLA?

@mamaraptor Hi, no not yet, I have an appointment soon and I have recently started pecs so not got very far with it yet but obviously I’ll keep at it. And I haven’t applied yet but I am waiting for the forms.

Speech therapy and occupational therapy helped us a lot. Routine and structure. Visual timetable. Once you understand his needs and apply strategies, everything will get better. You sound like a great mum. I am sure more experienced mums will be here soon to give you more advise. Lots of hug.

I second OT and SALT.

Are Portage involved? It is worth contacting Home Start, too. They may be able to support you.

You could think about requesting an EHCNA - IPSEA and SOSSEN have lots of information about EHCPs.

Scope offer mentoring to parents on the assessment pathway. Also, some people find Ross Greene’s the Explosive Child and Yvonne Newbold’s resources helpful.

The Cerebra guide is helpful when completing the DLA form.