What to do with ASD Dd 16 school refusing?

[ArseInTheCoOpWindow]

She’ll be 17 in July. Has hardly attended. EHCP at appeal. Has anxiety and migraine.

Refusing to ever go back. Wants to be educated at home, but we can’t afford it. I used to be a teacher and tried to help at first but it destroyed our relationship.

Perfectly happy in her room all day. Doesn’t want to meet or speak to people. Thought about college as wants to reinvent herself, but thinks the same thing will happen as she’s an EBSA.

She has poor communication skills, too anxious to speak to lots of people. Won’t look at apprenticeships. Or jobs ‘Too stressful’

Will she spend her entries life in her bedroom? She’s got burnout too, but is definitely improving.

l just don’t know what to do.

I’m so tired of it all.

Was fine at school until start of y12. Then couldn’t mask anymore. My gorgeous lively little chatty girl just wants to stay in her room. With no desire to change.

Sorry to hear this @ArseInTheCoOpWindow, sounds tough.

Is there anything theraputic in play around the EHCP? When she's ready, perhaps access to some really high quality and highly attuned support (clinical psychology with specialist knoweldge of ASD?) might create space for her to explore what she wants to do next with her life, working with the grain of her neeurodiversity?

Have you considered EOTAS? What therapies are in the EHCP?

We haven’t got an EHCP. She’s a bit old for play therapy. She’s nearly 17.

We’ve got a private pyschiatrist appt next month.

So you mean you have appealed refusal to issue, not that DD got an EHCP at appeal? If so, focus on the appeal as an EHCP is the route to support.

MrsLamb didn’t suggest play therapy, she meant “in play” as in in action/included.

We’re waiting for mediation. We didn’t even get the green light for assessment.

Shes self harmed since then, and we now have a pyschologist report. I’m hoping these swing it as we didn’t have ‘enough evidence’🙄

She wants to do art and design. She loves drawing and sewing. Got 9 GCSE. She’s talked about college but is scared of going.

Don’t bother with mediation, just get the certificate and submit to SENDIST. LAs use mediation as a delaying tactic, if they are going to concede they will do so regardless of whether you actively partake or just get the certificate and submit to SENDIST.

It’s booked now. It didn’t make much difference to the timescale. It has to happen within 30 days of refusal, and appeal has to be 21 days after that. Id rather lose 30 days and get an affirmative than wait 6 months for an appeal.

It would be unlikely to be 6 months, appeals for those out of education are prioritised.

Obviously it’s your choice, but my point was mediation is often used as a delaying tactic, so it is often wasted time as parents often have to appeal anyway.

Oh, I didn’t know that😭. We have a lot more evidence though now. It’s next week, so may as well go ahead.

6 months later we now have an EHCP. But she still won’t leave her room. Do they ever re enter society of us this it?

Sorry OP no advice just solidarity. What are the school/college doing to help? Is your daughter able to do some school work at home for now? Can your local SENDIASS or CAMHS support you? Are there young people’s groups in person or virtually she can attend?

She doesn’t go to school. Thats why we have been given the EHCP.

She reuses point blank to go to another school, there is one near us where you have to have an EHCP to go. With little classes and loads of support. But she won’t go. Wants home education.

In the grand scheme of things, 6 months is still relatively early in recovery from burnout. It doesn’t mean DD will always struggle so much like this.

When speaking to the LA, it is important you don’t use home education. They are likely to hear elective home education. You need EOTAS so the LA retain responsibility.

OP it sounds like your DD is still officially a student at the school? If so, what is the SEND team suggesting for her going forward? I find this website can be quite helpful in case you haven’t already seen it:
https://www.specialneedsjungle.com/eotas-education-otherwise-than-at-school-what-is-it-and-can-i-get-it/

She came down and talked to me last night. She wants to go part time to a HF ASD school near us, and do some home based learning. She came and talked to me last night like a real young woman.

Just hope the twats at LEA allow this

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow wow, best of luck to her.

Where do you find out about HF ASDs schools with sixth forms? I just don't they exist in this part of the country.

It’s in my city. Does Maths, Further Maths , Scirnce, Eng Lang/lit, pyschology and history to A level.

Im in Sheffield. Sendias told us about it.

@Sproutier you can search for placements here. Specialist colleges are also searchable here. Many are independent or NMSS. If you post roughly where you are or name change and post, someone on MN may be able to help.

Thanks so much @ThomasWasTortured & @ArseInTheCoOpWindow x

Could l ask another question? The LEA seem exceptionally thick on this.

We took her to see a private pyschiatrist. We had 3 appointments but the medication didn’t work. It cost 1500 quid and we don’t have that sort of money easily available.

In the draft it says ‘medication to be reviewed by nhs’ l phoned up and asked bout this. It’s not a psychiatrist, but gp. Except gp can’t prescribe for under 18, and the LeA didn’t know this🙄

I asked for a pysch. No way of seeing one. Medication. is integral to the whole school retuning thing. What do I do?

This is exactly what I was posting about on the other thread. The wording in EHCPs needs to be explicit.

If you appeal the educational provision in the EHCP you can request the appeal also looks at health. However, you will need evidence and although there is the expectation the recommendations are followed they aren’t binding on the ICB in the same way decisions on e.g. section F are on the LA. Although if they aren’t they should explain why and sometimes looking at JR or the LGO is possible. Unfortunately, DD will be 18 before an appeal is heard.

The LA may try to claim not all medication requires a psychiatrist. Medication is too vague. It does not mean antidepressants which I think is what you have taken it as. They may also try to claim medication only needs reviewing once every year, so it doesn’t need to be a psychiatrist because DD will be 18 within the year. Even if the draft stated ‘medication to be reviewed by nhs psychiatrist’ it wouldn’t be enough.

Yes I’ve gone back to them on this. I’ve also said the correct medication underline the whole going to school thing. Just waiting for a response.

Thank you again. I’ve just gone back and listed all the failed medications, how much they’ve cost us, and how she won’t access any education without them and listed the reasons. And that we are on the CAHMS waiting list of a million years.

Then l asked why a health care plan isnt including health? And that she needs to see an adolescent psychiatrist.

Twats