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Parents of girls with ADHD, please talk to me!

4 replies

Lenor · 25/05/2023 22:20

We’ve just started the process of having DD, about to turn 5, diagnosed. After months of school saying they don’t see what we see at home, they turned around yesterday and said she is struggling with her attention and fatigue in the afternoons and they will refer her to their SENCO department.

I’ve suspected she has ADHD for years. I’ve worked in childcare since I was a teen and know the signs well. I’ve also realised since becoming a parent that it’s very likely that I also have ADHD, which goes a way to explain why my DD and I clash so much. Even with this in mind, I suddenly feel very worried and sad for her.

Her sleep is very poor, and we experience huge emotional outbursts several times a day (or hour, on a bad day). We also struggle with her attention, constant hyperactivity and impulsiveness. I love her to pieces and she is SO many other amazing things, but family life is incredibly difficult at the moment and it’s largely due to her behaviour.

I suppose the biggest thing I’m feeling right now is dread at what’s to come. We’ve navigated so much of the last few years safe in the knowledge that she’s very little, and things will improve soon. Things haven’t improved though. As she’s gotten older, her behaviour has become less and less age appropriate and her problems are more complex for us to work through together. I’ve read that ADHD symptoms generally get worse and worse until they peak around age 8. I just can’t imagine where we’ll be in several years time if that’s the case. It suddenly feels very daunting and I’m scared for her self esteem if things continue as they are. It isn’t any secret to her that we’re struggling.

Please tell me if your daughters were diagnosed at a similar age, and if things improve in time and when… and thank you so much if you’ve read this far.

OP posts:
LadyCLS · 27/05/2023 22:33

I can’t help by saying that it will get better as my daughter is similar age (just turned 6). Her referral was refused due to not being severe at school - home life is pretty unbearable at times as her behaviour is very difficult and she can hurt us / her siblings when she has a meltdown. We also clash a lot and I suspect I might have adhd too. Hope you can get the support you need for your little girl x

PinkMimosa · 03/06/2023 08:45

At Red they going to look at ASD as well @Lenor. Our lovely DD is older and is being assessed for both. They've mentioned Dyslexia and ARFID too.

Lenor · 03/06/2023 09:26

Thank you both for responding.

A few people have advised that they will likely assess for ASD too. I am fairly sure it is ADHD alone though. I’m a childminder and work alongside my sister whose full time job involves diagnosing autism, and she doesn’t feel that my daughter meets any of the criteria, even with symptoms often displaying differently and later in girls.

Her behaviour definitely isn’t severe at school so maybe we won’t get very far. I’d be so upset if that was the case though. I want a diagnosis in the hopes that those around her will be more understanding and accepting of her.

OP posts:
PinkMimosa · 03/06/2023 09:33

Lenor · 03/06/2023 09:26

Thank you both for responding.

A few people have advised that they will likely assess for ASD too. I am fairly sure it is ADHD alone though. I’m a childminder and work alongside my sister whose full time job involves diagnosing autism, and she doesn’t feel that my daughter meets any of the criteria, even with symptoms often displaying differently and later in girls.

Her behaviour definitely isn’t severe at school so maybe we won’t get very far. I’d be so upset if that was the case though. I want a diagnosis in the hopes that those around her will be more understanding and accepting of her.

I'd still discuss getting an assessment for both, it's probably just a easier to look at both at the sane time.

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