Toddler screaming

[shinyrainbow1]

My 2 year old screams constantly, not tantrums, not angry/upset just constant Hugh pitched screaming noise.

My older one is autistic and noises sensitive so cannot cope with the constant noise. I cannot cope with the constant noise plus autistic meltdowns. The only way to settle my eldest is to allow him on the iPad with ear phones in but I really don't want him to be so disconnected all the time. He has ear defenders but won't wear them.

Any tips of managing the littles on screaming?

He's showing signs of autism himself so highly suspect he's also on the spectrum but it's absolutely impossible to manage both who have complete opposite sensory needs!

Is DS2 stimming? Has he had a sensory OT assessment? How is his communication?

For DS1 have you tried noise cancelling headphones with e.g. white noise? Has he had a sensory OT assessment?

DS2 hasn't had any kind of assessment, I was wasn't sure whether his behaviours were more on the extreme side of normal toddler behaviour or possible signs of autism/adhd. He's impulsive, loud, tip ties a a lot. He's finds it very hard to focus for any length of time, eg, he's never once sat and been read to. He cannot be still, even asleep he is constantly moving. He needs constant stimulation he cannot play independently. He really struggles to follow instructions, he knows what to do but he doesn't always do it. His communication is advanced. He talks very clearly and has a really wide range of vocabulary for his age, nursery has commented on how good his communication is. So I think it's boarder line, it could be signs but as I said it could also be the extreme side of normal.

Where as DS1 was obvious to me from a baby. With his routines, and obsessions and sensory issues. Problems with clothing, noise, food, toileting. As he started to talk his way of thinking and linking information was so advanced for his age. He's highly intelligent and memorises so many facts and can apply what he knows to various different situations. He struggles emotionally with huge outbursts, things have to be just right or he cannot cope. We have to follow our exact routines and he cannot deviate from them. Eg, we wake up, I get dressed, we brush our teeth, they get dressed. We can't do it in any other order or he goes into complete meltdown.

They are such complete opposites that managing them so difficult.

He has noise cancelling headphones but won't wear them. The only way to manage it is distraction with ear phones and the iPad but that can't be the solution, I need to find another way.

I think you should seek a referral for DC2. There’s enough in your posts to suggest it is warranted.

I didn’t realise DC1 wouldn’t wear noise cancelling headphones, I thought you just meant he wouldn’t wear ear defenders. If he will wear earphones to watch the iPad have you tried in ear noise cancelling earbuds? Rather than headphones. Then you could break the link to watching the iPad at the same time.

I don't know if services are better in your area but I still can't get a referral for my eldest, who despite the GP and HV agreeing with my Austim suspicions and scoring high on all their assessments suggesting SEN because preschool doesn't support it then they're constantly rejected. He masks extremely well in his childcare settings. We have an amazing SEND worker who has seen him at home and preschool who can see through the mask but even she hasn't been able to get us a referral. I've basically been told that the services are overwhelmed and because he can function well in his settings he isn't priority! His sensory needs are so extreme that he doesn't eat, he's anaemic and his growth is affected, he's under weight. He is exhausted and falls asleep by 4pm daily but it isn't enough.

So I know my concerns about my youngest won't be heard at all, they aren't nearly severe enough.

It's shocking and not good enough. I will speak to the GP and HV but I know it won't achieve anything, even if they agree with me.

You can apply for an EHCNA for DCs yourself. You may have to appeal but this would open up the route to having OT, SALT, clinical psychologist assessments. It is unlikely to include an ASD/ADHD assessment but it will look at needs and what provision they require to meet those needs. This is the same whatever area you live in.

DC1 can also be referred to the dietician &/or an eating disorder service. If your local teams won’t see them you can request to go elsewhere e.g. Maudsley’s ARFID service.

Since your OP said DS1 was autistic I assumed he had a diagnosis.