Choosing a primary school for ASC child

[EHCP22]

Hi everyone,
Posted on here before with regards to DS EHCP. The LA are finally consulting our catchment area school and a small village school which we expressed a preference for. We wanted our DS to attend the small school as it’s right next to his preschool, he would know most of the children and the transition would make sense to him.

Initially we were certain that we prefer the small village school ( it’s a VA school), but after having met the headteacher and SENCo it has become clear that their approach is non inclusive and they see admitting DS as a financial burden ( the HT said that as they are so inadequately funded, support would have to be taken away from other children in order to provide DS with 1:1). It’s ultimately the LA’s responsibility to provide the provision in the EHCP, so funding should be provided, but our LA is notorious for breaking the law and not providing support for children with additional needs.

Our catchment area school is twice the size, the facilities for the Reception year aren’t great ( a small outbuilding with 2 classrooms of 30 children who mix in the afternoon). However the headteacher is progressive and inclusive, the SENCo is lovely and so far they have been highly understanding and accommodating.

We have been talking to DS about starting school and he has been repeatedly saying that he wants to go to the school next to his preschool. Unless the discriminatory attitude is passed down from the headteacher to the staff, we feel that he would thrive in a smaller school with children he already knows.

Communicating and organising anything with the SENCO at the small village school would highly likely be nearly impossible.

On the other hand side, we anticipate our catchment area school to be supportive and to have an open line of communication.

Now the issue is that DS is likely to shut down if placed in an unfamiliar busy environment with 60 children at times. Because of this he would likely need extra support at the catchment school. He is very sensitive to his environment and it can have a huge impact on his experience and behaviour. He went selectively mute at his old nursery, but moving him to a new one has resolved this. It is a worry that this could happen again and moving schools with an EHCP won’t be that easy so we are feeling the pressure of making the right choice. It goes without saying that DS’s needs would need to be recognised and met, but I fear that the big school would make things worse for him, so his needs would escalate.

Do we listen to DS’s choice and pick the small discriminatory village school, where he would have friends and most likely would enjoy attending Reception; or do we pick the very large progressive school where he would ( at least initially) struggle to adapt to a new environment, unfamiliar children etc?

I was in a similar situation with my DS several years ago. He has ASD. I wanted him to attend our local 1 form entry primary for all of the reasons you list. He was allocated a place at a 2 form entry further away where almost no one from his nursery was going. We didn't appeal (no EHCP at the time). I was really impressed by how the school manged his transfer and in the end, it turned out to be for the best.

Being a larger school, the 2-form entry one had more staff, more experience of ASD, more clubs and a larger 'pool' of children to mix with. I also felt it helped him prepare a bit better for secondary transition which is so much larger again.

You say the larger school is very accommodating and in my experience that is so important. You're going to be working as team for the next seven years to support your DS.

I know you say your DS has friends going to the smaller school but friendships change very quickly. Those DC may not always want to play with your DS (not necessarily because of his additional needs - it's just the way children are when they get into a 'bigger pond' and make other friends).

You say your DS struggles with change and I totally get that as mine is the same. But you do also say that your DS moved nursery and that worked out well.

It's such a difficult decision and I do feel for you. It's hard to 'second guess' how these things are going to turn out. The head and senco of the larger school could leave - likewise with the smaller school.

It makes me so angry that schools try and put parents/carers off by implying they won't be able to meet needs. It's an underhand trick. As you say, it's the local authority who are responsible for funding and ensuring an EHCP is delivered.

Do you think it might be worth getting your DS to visit the bigger school with you?

Thank you very much for your response, you make some really good points which we haven’t considered (the diversity of children in the bigger school).

We have been to both schools together and he didn’t want to enter the classroom in either of them;) but I think it’s a good suggestion I do a second visit and positively present the possibility of attending the larger school. DS would find it difficult to understand why he’s not going to attend the school he’s expecting ( small village one).

Another good thing about the village school is that they split he class in 2 in Reception, so a smaller group of children would be much better suited to DS needs.

How did your DC cope with a large class?

As a slight aside, are you happy with the wording of the EHCP? Especially in Section F. This will be key to the provision/support your DS is legally entitled to, whatever school he attends.

My DS had 1 to 2 support throughout primary which is what enabled him to cope.
His LSA would take him out of whole school events such as assemblies and Christmas plays if they got too much. They would also support his time outs from class when it got too overwhelming for him. He had periods when he would wear ear defenders (esp. in the lunch hall).

In terms of his transition, he visited primary school several times before he started so he could meet the teacher and we also met with the LSAs who would be supporting him. (This isn't always possible beforehand though as sometimes schools will need to recruit for September.) His LSA at nursery went with him a couple of times and then they made a transition book with lots of photos of his new classroom and staff that we looked at during the summer holiday.

I was so worried about how he would cope at primary school and I remember those sleepless nights during the summer. I have to say, he coped far, far better than I could ever have hoped for.

The primary were open to him going part time for several weeks but I decided it would be better if he went fulltime from the start. My fear was that he would find the change to full days far harder and confusing - but every DC is different.

I would say there's a balance though. My DS is very, very anxious and I think for him banging on too much about his new school for months on end would have made things worse for him. It's so tricky isn't it?

I think for all parents, choosing the 'right' school is difficult. What a DC needs at 4 or 11 isn't necessarily what is going to be important when they're 10 or 15. To some extent, it's always a leap of faith.

It is hard, but from what you've written I'd advise against the small village school.

If the head and senco are starting with that attitude it's unlikely to get any better. Cutesy village schools can have a supportive group of parents and friends, but they can also be very unwelcoming to anyone different - put very crudely the bigger the school the lower your chances of being the only odd one.

Thank you both for your responses, my DH is now absolutely convinced that we have to choose the bigger school, I’m still emotionally attached to the idea of DS going to the small school, as this is what he expects.

The final EHCP isn’t ready yet, as the LA is consulting the schools at the moment, but we are likely going to Tribunal as we want ABA to be included in the provision.

 Toomanyminifigs, thanks for the detailed explanation of how things went for your DC; choosing a school is a big decision, it’s hard to fully commit without being able to assess all the variables, a leap of faith as you say. 

My DS is also very anxious, so it sounds like it would be better to make a choice and keep it low key until nearer the time.

Just thought - have a look for useful facebook groups near you. There's bound to be one called summat like 'facebook MyArea autism'. You could ask them what the schools' reputations are re: SEN - often it's the schools rated Outstanding that are the worst.