Hi, Please bear with me as my mind is totally consumed with this and I have a tendency to waffle.
My DD is almost 6 and for the past 6 months has been experiencing enormous meltdowns, not just tantrums. Almighty explosions of emotion that are very distressing as she won't allow me near her to comfort her and in fact they are usually directed at me.
Other signs that make us think possible ASD are sensory issues (hates hair being brushed, seems to meltdown after sensory overload eg during family trip to London, after hairdresser, after cinema etc) but is a pro at masking while its going on. She is increasingly obsessive over fairness eg having exactly the same quantity/colour/variety as her siblings, to the point we are frankly all terrified of things not being equal. She gets what I can only describe as frantic at times of transition, eg leaving house, getting ready for bed, jumping from one thing to the next, procrastinating and being unable to focus on the task in hand. I have thought about PDA. She looks out of the corner of her eyes, eye contact seems ok but watching tv/listening in class, she sits with her head to one side and looks out of the corners of her eyes. She worries a lot about what people think of her, especially friends, and wants to 'keep them happy'. She freaks out at choice.
We walk on eggshells at home, her two brothers included, and my relationship with her is at an all time low. It's heartbreaking.
I know a lot of this is common in girls with ASD. But what keeps me from truly believing it (and tbh it's occupying my every waking moment, going backwards and forwards) is that it's all very recent. Only the last 6 months, since entering year 1. By all accounts she loves school and they love her. Model pupil etc etc. High achieving, rule abiding, sweet, engaged etc. I know this is masking (if there is anything underlying) but why is it all falling apart at home only now? We used to regularly take the kids to London, big days out etc with no problem at all. She's always been good with busy places, huge shopping centres, places that make my head swim like the pools at centre parcs or Legoland. She's never been remotely fazed by anything in her busy, noisy, disorganised and frankly quite privileged life and yet all of a sudden she can't cope with the slightest disruption to a plan. We used to have an incredible bond, we spent so much time together, I travelled alone with her as a toddler on a few holidays and now I'm scared of taking her alone to the supermarket. She won't let me near her, she won't sit on my lap, just wriggles to get away from me. she has to control everything.
The only things that were apparent in her earlier years are disliking hair brushing and being indecisive in a shop eg choosing an ice cream.
I don't know what to think. We've seen an Ed Psych and waiting on a report. I think she scored really high on the IQ sort of stuff but she mentioned empathy was low. It does seem recently that she has none.
The daily meltdowns are making the whole family miserable and I want to get to the bottom of it but part of me feels 6 months isn't long enough to go looking for diagnoses.
Thank you for reading if you got the end!