Aspergers symptoms?

[LuxD]

DS is 12. I’ve been wondering for a few years whether he may have high functioning Asperger’s, I understand it’s a spectrum and and different people are affected differently. Probably easiest if I list the reasons why I think this.

1. Poor emotional regulation, frequent tantrums although nowadays more storming off
2. Quite rigid in movements and the way he sounds when he speaks
3. Painfully shy especially around adults. He didn’t speak for the first year at school
4. Rarely makes eye contact unless he knows someone well
5. Doesn’t really ‘get’ banter and says inappropriate or annoying rhings
6. Much better with number than anything that requires interpretation or thinking outside the box
7. Very fussy with food and always has been
8. Cannot cope with being told what to do
9. Gets obsessive with things
10. Doesn’t seem to have much ‘depth’ in terms of empathy or really getting other people and why they behave in certain ways.
11. Doesn’t understand chit chat and gets annoyed

I realise this all sounds quite negative. He has a lot of friends and other kids generally like him. He can also tell lies quite fluently which I’ve been told children with Asperger’s probably wouldn’t do.

I really don’t know a lot about it other than what I’ve read online so any advice would be appreciated.

Tia

People with ASD can lie, but I don't know if it's common. My DD is on the pathway for diagnosis and can definitely lie and has done since a young age.

What do the school say about him?

As you may or may not know, the term Asperger's isn't really used anymore as part of the diagnostic pathway. If someone has autism, it is a lifelong condition that impacts profoundly on various aspects of their lives. It was decided it wasn't helpful to have a 'separate' category. Although autism is a spectrum, it's not linear, it's more like a circle in which each person will have a unique combination of traits/difficulties.

My DS has ASD and would I think have qualified for an Asperger's diagnosis under the old definition but actually, his difficulties are profound despite the fact he is regarded as academically able.

A diagnosis is carried out by 2-3 highly trained specialists who will spend up to half a day with a DC and their care givers. They may also want to speak to the school. The criteria they're looking for can be quite subtle. I wasn't sure if my DS would get a diagnosis as he's so much better with adults than his peers but he did and I was blown away by how they could totally 'see' him.

Obviously no one on this board can say if your DS has autism or not but from the list you give above, it sounds like it could be worth trying to get him on the pathway for an assessment. Just to warn you though, where I am, the wait time is 2 to 3 years on the NHS. (Or 6-12 months if you go privately I believe.)

Have you spoken to the school Senco? How is he academically? It's great that he has friends and a peer group. As part of the process, you will have to focus on his difficulties in order to get heard and that can be hard.