School seem reluctant to help.

[Gemgems25]

My DD who is 7 has been suffering with anxiety and school refusal for a couple of years. Although it was suspected for many years, she had a diagnosis for autism a few months ago.

She an absolute pro at masking in school her Autism and even her anxiety to some extent but things are getting worse as she gets older.

The paediatrician at the childrens centre detailed in a report what the school need to support on and how, and I have followed this up with the class teacher and Senco. They seem to be refusing to give her additional support as she is achieving academically above her age and due to her masking, I don't think they see the severity of the issue. I am just going round in circles without getting anywhere.

I have witnessed dd self harming, and she also tells me she feels worthless and sometimes thinks she would be better dead. She just wants to be with me all the time as that is the only thing that makes her feel safe. She does have quite a few days off school due to her school refusal but nothing that has meant school have questioned it yet however I have always said she is ill rather than it is mental health so probably haven't helped the situation there. Will be honest going forward so they can start to understand a it more.

My concern is that even after telling school about the self harm, the low mood and the pure fear she has about school, they just don't seem to be bothered. I keep being told that dd has been told about teachers and pastoral care staff she can talk to etc and apart from being more emotional at times, she is fine. They don't understand that she won't talk to any of them as thinks something bad will happen and she thinks they won't understand her.

I have had for years the normal daily meltdowns after school where she has been masking all day, the violent outbursts and everything else that comes with autism such as cant switch off to sleep and found a way through it but this is beyond being a worried parent and needs professional intervention but the school seem to be holding back. They won't even refer her to CAHMS.

I have been trying for weeks to get through to GP without any success and school keep signposting me to support for myself being a parent of a child with autism.

I am starting to think I am being over the top as no one is listening but also stuck as to where to go without becoming that parent that complains abput everything. Surely self harm is a safe guarding issue that the school should have picked up on without any hesitation.

The school must make their best endeavours to meet a pupils SEN. SEN Support is about far more than academics. Do you have it in writing the school won’t provide support due to DD being academic?

You can apply for an EHCNA yourself. On their website IPSEA have a model letter you can use.

If you don’t tell school the problem with the school refusal they won’t know the extent of the difficulties. You must tell them the truth. Then if DD can’t attend school full time the LA must provide alternative arrangements once it becomes clear DD will miss 15 days.

In many areas you can self refer to CAMHS. If you can’t while trying to contact the GP you could try the school nursing team.

Thanks for replying. Unfortunately Senco won't reply in writing to my emails asking about if they will support her or how. Previously been told as her needs are "only" emotional and social, there isn't much to offer and asked me to seek support from external agencies for myself dealing with a child with ASD. I am going to go down school health route and hopefully they can refer to CAMHS. At least they will hopefully keep school involved as well.

DD has again said tonight she wishes she was dead and didn't feel the way she does. I just wish she would tell someone at school this so they can hear it from her.

I am going to be honest going forward about all school refusal days and is why I am hoping to get to speak to GP as well so I have back up from another professional as can see the school fines heading my way if not.

You don’t necessarily need the SENCO to reply. Following verbal conversations send a summary of the conversation in an email. That way you have a paper trail of what was said. If you wanted you could finish the email by asking them to reply with anything they disagree with.

Previously been told as her needs are "only" emotional and social, there isn't much to offer

This is rubbish there is plenty the school could offer.

You should not be fined as any absence should be authorised. If the school don’t authorised and the LA do pursue the legal avenue you can challenge it.