Nursery SEN referral HELP

[RCH643]

Hi I am pleading for some advice on anyone going through anything similar. My DS is 3 and a half and been at the same nursery since he was 1, amazing nursery amazing staff. Recently the staff turnaround has been high and pretty much all the girls that were working there when he started have gone. Anyway nursery rung and have pretty much said if I don't agree to a SEN referral for him then they will exclude him. This has blindsided me, they say he kicks, scratches, hits other children and staff with zero triggers. The way they talk about him is almost as if they are describing a different child. Not only that but the SEN referral to me sounds bizarre. His speech is great, mobility great, he's affectionate, loving, he also is very good at processing his emotions and calming himself down, he understands others emotions and has empathy, he's extremely sociable with all adults and children, and is very affectionate. The only thing is he's not quite at the level of understanding yet where I can sit him down and have a serious conversation about 'why' he's doing this at nursery. I don't know what to do. The SEN referral seems so alien when he literally is the textbook perfect child at home. I feel so helpless because I'm not at nursery so don't witness any of this behaviour. He doesn't cry going into nursery or complain, only sometimes he will say he doesn't want to go. He comes out happy enough although sometimes seems tired/ a little worked up. Please if anyone could help

they say he kicks, scratches, hits other children and staff with zero triggers.

the SEN referral to me sounds bizarre.

These statements don't make sense within the same paragraph.
If a child is kicking, scratching and hitting outside the parameters of what Early Years Practitioners would expect from even a 2 year old, let alone a 3 year old, then a referral to get some support and advice is EXACTLY what they should be doing.
His 'special educational need' is that fact that he is not yet able to manage his emotions in a way typically a 3 year old can, when he is at Nursery

I would be pleased that the Nursery is seeking further support.

It’s not uncommon for DC to present differently in different settings.

There will be a trigger, it may not be obvious but there will be one. Are they keeping a detailed diary and ABC charts to try to spot them?

What support is the nursery providing? Have they asked the area SENCO for advice? If they need more funding to provide additional support have they applied for early years inclusion funding?