Possible ADHD

[LadyCLS]

I'm not sure if this is the right forum for my post so apologies in advance if not but I'm getting increasingly desperate about my dd's behaviour.

She's 5 years old (year 1) and middle child with older and younger brothers (8 and 3 years). DD has always been 'spirited' but her behaviour has rapidly declined since starting school. Examples of behaviour:

• refusing to sleep, can be up till 11pm
• wakes during night for example over summer waking multiple times insisting she was wet (she wasn't) or asking me if things were dirty. It's like she's wide awake and not been asleep
• doesn't listen at all
• shows no remorse
• hurts both her siblings and us
• pushes over furniture
• has broken her door
• throws around our belongings and threatens to break them
• talks constantly both to us and to strangers
• like she's bouncing off walls
• very distracted when doing things, focussing on something unrelated
• rude to us, the other day threatened to get a knife and stab me (I think she doesn't understand what she's saying)
• won't even attempt to get herself dressed, says it's too hard and she can't do it (she could if she wanted to, she's more than capable)

My boys are nothing like this. It's causing issues between me and DH as we're struggling with how best to manage DD. Our DS's are nothing like this. I've spoken to school nurse who saw DD and referred to paeds for possible ADHD however they discharged her as at school she is well behaved and no issues. Gone back to school in tears asking for help as home is becoming unbearable, senco has suggested GP appointment which I've got next week plus pastoral support LSA is doing some 1:1 bits with DD but again she's fine when they see her.

She's a very sweet little girl, always had lots of energy but not sure how we manage this best. I suspect ADHD as think I have it too (DD reminds me very much of me as a child).

Has anyone got any advice or been through anything similar?

Hi,
not sure about ADHD. My DS is younger and has ASC. However I think you need to ask GP for a Peadiatrics referral and also apply for an EHCP yourself, don’t worry about what the school is saying, you can submit the application yourself without their support.Good luck

You could ask for a second opinion. Have you considered other neurodiversities?

For help with the challenging behaviour at home look at Yvonne Newbold’s resources and Ross Greene’s The Explosive Child book.

Not really, I don't know where to start in all honesty. My parents feel she just needs lots of attention but I think it's more than that

It is worth considering other ND conditions as they overlap somewhat.

Have a look at this:
and this

It is strange that she does not show the same behaviours in school. She would need to show impulsivity, hyperactivity, lack of focus etc in two different settings for an ADHD diagnosis (usually home and school). She could be masking and then letting it all out at home though.

Also have a look at ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder). It is often comorbid with ADHD.

Sorry, wrong link. ODD:

It is strange that she does not show the same behaviours in school.

No it’s not. It’s quite common for DC to present differently in school to home. As you say DD could be masking, that isn’t uncommon. Neither is the coke bottle effect.