7 year old very anxious at primary school

[Alickofpaint]

My DS is just 7. He has severe anxiety around school which is now affecting his learning. It’s most often a fight or flight response, sometimes just downright refusal to do work. Sometimes he’s fine going in and I get a call mid morning, sometimes he has to be peeled off me at drop off. Sometimes I hear nothing from school and he’s had a great day. He can be aggressive and hurt people. It’s only at school. He has loads of friends and joins in with clubs outside of school with no problem. It’s like a switch goes off and triggers him.

He’s having ELSA sessions which I believe are helping. Anxiety has been recognised with no other diagnoses at the moment. School are being brilliant.

What can I do to help? GP, CAMHS and local authority on board and aware. But am I missing anything else? Is it worth looking into private counselling,CBT?

What have other parents done to support their children? I really don’t know what else to do now.

If the LA are involved does DS have an EHCP? If he does you need an early review as it isn’t meeting his needs. Therapies can be included in EHCPs. If not you can apply.

Can DS articulate what it is about school that he finds stressful?

Has DS ever had OT and SALT assessments?

What other support is the school providing? Dropping off/picking up 5/10 mins early/late at a quicker entrance. Met by a key worker. Do they have a nurture group? Do they have anyone that can deliver drawing and talking intervention or similar? A time out card? If DS doesn’t have an EHCP have they applied for high needs top up funding so they can provide more support?

What about CAMHS, what are they doing? They can provide CBT or other therapies.

No, he doesn’t have an EHCP.

He can articulate that he doesn’t want to leave me, that he doesn’t want to be away from me or leave home. Writing and maths work are a trigger too. It’s not that he’s not capable either.

We’re waiting for an OT assessment for sensory processing. No SALT issues have been identified.

He has attended nurture group previously but has been advised that now he needs to be back in class with pals. School have a clear flowchart of actions relating to behaviour and they won’t deviate from this. Which DS I know finds helpful as he likes consistency.

my greatest concern is this flight or fight that we see from him. Very aggressive and destructive and says very unkind things. It’s like he’s a totally different child. And the anguish he must be going through at these times doesn’t bear thinking about.

can you tell me more about high needs top up funding please?

CAMHS not doing anything at present, on their advice and that of our GP. They cite year-long waiting list for anxiety treatment because of covid. Hence my question about what could/should we do independently. Thanks.

You should apply for an EHCNA yourself. On their website IPSEA have a model letter you can use.

If the LA agree to assess it will include an ed psych assessment which will help - often it highlights hidden needs, which for many are a source of anxiety because they are unmet needs. For example, DS3 is academically able and seemingly had a good memory. He does have an excellent long term memory which was masking a very poor working memory.

An EHCNA can also include clinical psychologist, psychiatrist, OT and SALT (I would recommend one as it isn’t unusual for there to be needs here when there is anxiety. SALT is about more than the physical ability to speak.) assessment without the need to sit on the normal waiting list.

If the LA issue an EHCP therapies such as play therapy, art therapy, animal assisted therapy, CBT, OT, SALT can all be included without sitting on waiting lists.

The school are being ridiculous about the nurture group. It’s no good saying DS needs to be back in class if he can’t cope there. Can they not try a mixture of time in class and time out of class, starting with a very small amount of time in class.

High needs top up funding is funding the school apply for from the LA when they need additional funding in order to provide additional support to meet the needs of a pupil.

For the challenging behaviour have a look at Yvonne Newbold’s resources and Ross Greene’s The Explosive Child book.

Keep pushing CAMHS, often it is those who push who receive support.

And if DS can’t attend school full time due to his anxiety the LA should be providing alternative provision as well as part time school or instead of school.

Sounds very like my DD, and school were going down the additional funding route but now her behaviour has improved they're waiting to see if the current interventions are working long term. I am getting her an OT assessment and ASD assessment, we've gone private but probably would've pushed for the EHCNA if not. School are arranging for her to see an EP and she also has talk and draw therapy.
Her interventions may not be right for your DS but include own table, ear defenders, zones of regulation with duplo blocks for her to show which zone she's in ( she does have a card too but didn't like using this), movement breaks/walks and a box of calming toys.

Jules you should apply for an EHCNA yourself anyway.

Jules912 thanks for your comment. Sorry to hear you’re in much the same boat, but it’s a comfort to know there are other families out there dealing with this. Are school working on the basis at the moment of anxiety? Because she is awaiting further assessment? Within what time frame did DD’s behaviour start to turn a corner?

They're working on the basis of sensory issues and ASD, but I think there's an element of anxiety there too as she doesn't want to go in or PE or spelling test days. It seemed to turn a corner 3 or 4 weeks before half term but I suspect she's gone back to masking at school as she comes home exhausted.