Overnight stay at school

[Centerparcschequecancellation]

Name changed as this is potentially outing. My son is 9 and autistic. He has had an OT assessment that confirms sensory processing differences and tactile defensiveness are at play. He is at a private school where they have optional boarding. One of the highlights of the year is a special boarding night for his year group - like a giant sleepover. Last year, before he was diagnosed but after he was on the pathway for ASD assessment, he was excluded from this event because he'd hurt two other children the week before. One child had tickled him and my son instinctively reacted and moved his arm away roughly, making the other boy's arm sore. In the same week, someone reached across my son to get something and my son hit them in the tummy. He hadn't done anything like this before and the punishments came down on him hard. He had a detention, which was public knowledge in the school, lost his weekly treat, and was not allowed on the sleepover. My son was devastated and still refers to this exclusion a year later. He understands that he can't hurt people and have no consequences but he doesn't feel that this was fair and it plays on his mind often.

After his diagnosis, he took part in an overnight outward bound trip where they slept in tents. This was a big success. He has been generally calm at school since they started making adjustments for him and he hasn't hurt anyone for a very long time. However, he's banned from Flexi boarding at school because they say they don't know how to make that accessible (he did it quite a bit before diagnosis) and I'm worried the head will say he can't do this year's sleepover. I think my son would be deeply hurt by this and I need to make a strong case for him taking part. What can I suggest to the school to help? I suppose extra staff could be added to the planning for the event, they could make sure he sleeps next to his friends. Is there anything else?

I’m not sure you can insist on extra staff, does he have an EHCP?

You need to meet with school to discuss whether he can go on the sleepover. If not, why? What are their concerns? And address each of these.

You could ask for a risk assessment to be done as part of this

I agree with Bunnyannesummers’s post. You need 5 have a proper conversation with the school. Why do they foresee the flexi- boarding night to be different from the trip? What adjustments did they make then?

Reminding the school they must make reasonable adjustments under the Equality Act. However, unless you are going to pay or it is included in an EHCP extra staff is unlikely to be considered reasonable due to the cost.

The head says that they will have to have a conversation about it in the staff room to discuss whether or not they can make it accessible. Extra staff were sent on the outward bound trip and the head suggested man-marking as the main tactic for making the sleepover accessible.

My son does not have an EHCP. My son's diagnosis seems to have spooked the school somewhat and they appear sometimes to be trying to prevent problems that don't form part of my son's profile.

I suppose the difference may be on the outward bound they’d be sending extra staff anyway and it’s a one off…whereas some children will flexi board regularly and school don’t want them to have a bad experience through being injured - not least because they might then not flexi board and cost the school money.

you need to pursue an EHCP and continue to engage with school, calmly on their concerns. From their POV, I can absolutely see that they don’t feel confident having a child with a history of violent tendencies overnight. I’ve refused a child on an overnight trip for the same reason.

can you let school know what you’re doing at home to manage DS? Or point out how long he’s been able to go without issue at school?

unfortunately unless the trip is core curriculum, from what I understand they can exclude him.

Even if the trip isn’t part of the core curriculum the school still have to comply with the Equality Act and make reasonable adjustments.

The head has agreed to my son taking part in the sleepover. They will put a number of measures in place to support him but haven't told me what these are.