Advice re desperately trying to move DD to a more appropriate school.

[Whatliesbeneath707]

DD is 14 and in year 10. She started her GCSEs in September & until she broke up before Christmas, she had only been set one piece of (art) homework in those 3 months.
The school seem to have given up post Covid, as many/most parents did not do the home schooling and so the school are going over what would have been taught over the last 2 years, it seems.

We have been into school & met with the SENCO, form tutor & head of year. The school is in a disadvantaged area & it seemed as though they really understood the children & were able to accommodate different needs with smaller class sizes. The teachers seemed keen & progressive, when we were looking round secondary schools & it is a new modern school with lots of resources.

They are say the right things in the meetings but nothing changes. The school has a high number of children with complex behavioural needs, and this seems to occupy the teachers time & efforts. DD finds the behaviour of others very distracting & disruptive. The fire alarm is set off most days by kids vaping in toilets, so all the children are evacuated on a regular basis.
At primary school, she was assessed as exceeding in all areas except maths, where she was at the expected level. Before Christmas, DD was given a paper report to stick in her portfolio but it wasn't meant to be given to parents. She photographed it and she's been assessed at 2s or 3s for GCSE, which is very different to where she was at primary school.
DD has autism & Pathological Demand Avoidance but on the whole she manages to hold things together at school in class. She has recently been bullied by a group of girls & now has not got many friends. She dreads going every day & we are worried that she will eventually just refuse to go to school. She does not have an EHCP as the school didn't feel her needs were great enough (possibly compared to the very complex needs of others).
We have applied to move schools, but there aren't any places. We've tried emailing & ringing this new school to discuss the situation, but the person is always unavailable/ off site or in a meeting. She never returns our calls/emails. We are feeling really stuck & powerless as to what more we can do. We can see her failing & becoming more withdrawn due to school, but don't know what else to do.

Has anyone else been in this situation or do you have any advice, please?

Horrible situation. The first thing anyone will tell you here is apply for an EHCP yourself. You don't have to have school's blessing. If she is not coping then you can't just hang on waiting for their say so. However, you then need to get some other irons in the fire to help her cope more immediately.

Keep on at school to get her better supported. Being solution based rather than bringing problems can help, eg if she is being bullied in History lessons and break times, maybe ask if she can change History classes and have a safe space for break and lunch. Listen to their ideas too. Anything they say no to, you add to your EHCP submissions, then look for an alternative solution in the meantime. I imagine you've had a few goes through this already though.

Be careful about interpreting the paper you weren't supposed to see. Are you absolutely certain it's a "what they might get at the end of Y11" rather than "what they would get if they took the exam today"? Ours switches from the former to the latter at the start of Y10 and suddenly they all have low numbers. When you've only covered 1/5 of the syllabus a 2 or 3 probably says you're on target.

Re moving school, this is always going to be tricky when already in Y10, let alone with a child who has SEN. Even if a new school can match her subjects, it's likely to have different topics, Eng Lit texts, and/or ordering and be very reluctant to take her when she had missed over a term of essentially a 5 term course. But, I know that feeling that you just have to try. You mention one alternative school but can you cast the net wider? This thread is not directly relevant to your daughter's case but contains a lot of advice on finding an alternative school place. www.mumsnet.com/talk/secondary/4699723-secondary-appeal-please-help

The bullying and/or her mental health are probably your strongest argument for her needing a new school place, until you get an EHCP, if in fact these are making school unbearable for her. The LA must fund transport if she is attending her nearest suitable school, and parents do secure this to alternative schools on the grounds that a school where she is being bullied is not suitable. But you would need to have evidenced of the bullying gathered. Keep a diary.

Moving her because of lack of homework would be a harder sell. Actually less homework is a huge plus for many SEN children especially with a PDA profile. Would she really cope better with a new school AND potentially 10 or 12 homeworks a week AND catching up on GCSE syllabus by starting at least 18 weeks into the school year? That would be a big ask of anyone.

I totally get the desperation that you just need something to change for her, but it's going to be tough. Sorry for the long post. I would try to flesh out what you think would be the best and worst scenarios for her - current school with some changes, a new school having missed 18+ weeks, home educating or online school if funds allow. Also try to unpick the academic concerns from the social & emotional ones. Nail down what you think she needs, and then fight for it. You can hone it down the line when the reports come through for the EHCP. I think a new school is going to be hard to find, but if you think it would be in her best interests then you have to give it your best shot.

@ISawFreeShips’s post is excellent, especially thinking whether moving schools will actually help. As already posted, you can apply for an EHCNA yourself if you feel one is necessary. If the SENCO, form tutor and HOY aren’t helping escalate to the HT. Make sure you keep a paper trail as evidence.

If you have applied to other schools and have been refused you will have the right to appeal. You would need to show why the disadvantage to DD not attending that school is greater than the disadvantage to the school from admitting another pupil.

Thank you both - excellent advice.
We feel her current school have given up, not with DD but as a whole. The teachers have not singled her out to not have homework, it's the whole year group that aren't being set any. Is this normal for year 10? I feel they are using the Covid pandemic as an excuse that most parents didn't do the homeschooling, so they have just lowered the bar for all children. I don't think the school are used to having parents question things like homework. All 3 staff just looked at each other and weren't really able to say why, or didn't want to disclose why.
Thank you for your input re change of school. I know this will be a big step for her, but we feel so much is not being done at the current school, we will be regretful if she comes out with no GCSEs in 18 months time, if we don't try to move her.

I think we will apply for an EHCP overselves & see if that brings about any improvements.

Thanks again.

Some schools don’t set much homework as the norm.

Yes it varies hugely. My children are at different schools with vastly different amounts of homework. Staying in school and being mentally well enough to revise and sit their exams is a significant goal in itself, and all this is easier when they don't have to give up whole evenings to more schoolwork when they are struggling.

Do bear in mind that applying for a needs assessment can be a lengthy process and you’re virtually half way through year 10 now. No reason at all why you shouldn’t set the ball rolling, but also continue to ask how the current school is supporting your daughter and what they plan to do for access arrangements at GCSE.

I’m late to respond but wanted to send support. We have also experienced a school not agreeing to support EHCP application as needs ‘not great enough’. I think it was due to a) others with more complex or worse issues and b) overworked stressed staff avoiding more work.

I would apply for the EHCP yourself but also think what else you can do. Getting a list of the issues, problem solving (e.g. reducing sensory overload, changing tutor group, different place to go at break time, look on NAS website for ideas) may help a little.

We ended up moving ds with HFASD and dyslexia to a private school where he has thrived in small classes, more flexibility and ability to individuate but ultimately a lot less chaos. I do fully understand that this isn’t an option for many people so really feel for you.

sending hugs to you and your dd

Thanks so much for your replies.
@RedPanda2022 thank you for your kind words, too. Yes, I have looked at private schools but just can't afford it. It's a shame as I'm sure it would work well for her. The whole situation makes me feel quite trapped and I feel we are letting her down.
We do have a meeting at school tomorrow, so will see.
Thanks again.

If you get an EHCP they can name an independent school with the LA paying the fees.