ADHD: going private?

[name78change]

Has anyone gone private to try to get an ADHD diagnosis? What kind of costs would we be looking at?

I'm so concerned about NHS wait times, school isn't fully supporting, I just don't want to delay anymore in getting support.

I’m afraid I don’t know up to date costs, last time I looked you would be looking at £750-£1.2k, but that may well have changed. However, if it is a consideration one thing to check is whether your GP will take over shared care. Some GPs don’t like to.

Another thing is, other than medication, support is based on needs, not diagnosis so a diagnosis won’t necessarily result in more support. If you think DS needs additional support at school have you considered applying for an EHCNA.

@JustKeepBuilding I'm very new to this, I don't know what I'm doing. We haven't been to the GP yet, I've been documenting behaviour for months (years, mentally!) have spoken with school who are doing observations although don't have concerns of their own (not many at least). Tbh the issues are largely at home, he isn't struggling too much at school (although I do worry about him not reaching potential, and whilst he is coping now I worry the more complex school becomes the more he is starting to struggle, I just can't see how he would manage the demands of high school- so it's more about worrying about school in the future than now if that makes sense?)

(Thank you for your reply, sounds like we should talk to a GP before looking at a private route either way)

Speaking to the GP is a good idea whether you decide on private or state.

Even if the issues manifest themselves at home it doesn’t mean the problem is at home. It isn’t uncommon for DC to hold it together at school and explode/meltdown/shutdown at home. It’s called the coke bottle effect. Have you spoken directly to the SENCO? It’s worth pushing for further support via school as well as seeking a diagnostic assessment.

£1k ish
We were told nhs would be 2 year wait. DC would have been in Yr9 and bottom sets by then.
Meds now free via GP

Our private diagnosis opened up loads of support & understanding at our state high. Literally game changing. DC now in top sets for everything

Thanks both. I haven't spoken to the SENCO directly but they've observed him, I'm due another meeting with the teacher.

In our case it was masked in primary and DC coped. Looking back the signs were there. High school blew the issue wide open. They suddenly have to focus for longer in lessons, organise themselves etc We went private to avoid years of issues

@belowfrozen this is exactly what I'm concerned about, the local high school he's due to go to is very academic with 70 minute lessons. He is intellectually capable, but it's the mental load I think he will struggle with.

OP I’m doing the private route just now for assessment. I don’t wish to jump in on your thread but I was wondering what happens if your child masks in school? The questionnaires get sent to the teacher too but if they’re not seeing it in school will they still be able to diagnose? My DD shows it everywhere but school, home, around grandma, around friends and at external activities too.

Ask for a meeting with the SENCO directly.

Support in schools is based on needs, not diagnosis. Schools must make their best endeavours to meet a pupil’s SEN diagnosed or not. If an EHCP is necessary again the provision is based on needs, not diagnosis. Which is why a diagnosis in and of itself shouldn’t alter support in school.

Pepsi a good assessment will take into account masking and recognise it for what it is.

@PepsiMaxQueen ours was masked but not hidden. Primary had had strategies for keeping Dc busy and not bored. Primary lessons are shorter and generally more active. Achievement at primary was better than year7 which started massive red flags. When probed teachers listed issues such as lack of focus & getting distracted constantly

Thank you @JustKeepBuilding i think I’m just so worried after years of struggling.

@belowfrozen my 13yr old masked so well in primary, it was definitely there though looking back at school reports it says “flits from one activity to another quickly” “not much interest” and so on, but secondary school it hit like a ton of bricks. I do think primary is a bit more ADHD friendly in the way they don’t mind if kids fidget and walk around too much, whereas secondary they expect a certain standard they can’t meet.

We saw an explosion of flags. Loosing everything, being off topic in class and worse of all friendship issues. ADHD kids are emotional imature

@belowfrozen oh my goodness we have experienced all of those. For years I've known something was "off", for months I've been trying to monitor and be open minded, now I'm just absolutely convinced.

Mis reading social cues. Being silly at iinappropriate times too

Oh my goddess and yes. He also has some sensory issues (doesn't like the way clothes feel) and can lose his temper very quickly, will hit himself (not too often). Really struggles with self esteem.

I'm kicking myself for not seeing it sooner. I think it was my own internal bias, knowing that ADHD has a reputation of being "over diagnosed" for behavioural issues (not saying I agree with that at all but I've seen it said)

Is there an age it becomes more obvious? My son is 9 and it feels like the last year the behaviours seem much more pronounced.

As others have said, the transition to secondary school blows things wide open. All of a sudden they’re having to focus on a single subject for up to an hour. The environment is very different and any social issues become magnified.
My DC coped reasonably in primary but things fell apart pretty quickly in year 7 - school refusal, self harm, picking the wrong “role models”. We paid around £1k for a private assessment and just wish we’d done it sooner to make the transition easier.

@Ralphswife it's my eldest starting secondary school that has really opened my eyes to realise I need to address the issues my youngest has. As has been said he does ok in primary school, but seeing my eldest start in September and how much self direction he needs to get to places, home work, long lessons etc it's just made me realise how my youngest would be so overwhelmed by that level of independence without me constantly telling him what he needs to do next. I know he's got a couple years and he will grow up, but the concerns I have aren't really maturity, it's the lack of self direction/independence.

Thanks all, you've really given me the confidence to push this. I'm not going crazy.

@Ralphswife ours was falling in with wrong crowds as didn't know where to fit in. Old friends matured quickly and they lagged behind.
Sitting through things like English or history was a nightmare as opposed to more practical subjects.
I have a friends whose DS was the same. Within 2 weeks of high school they suggested assessment

@name78change Low self esteem is common. They are struggling and get in trouble for things they can't control.
I have learnt that ADHD is massively misunderstood.
There's lots of good info around and pod casts etc

My DC would be late every day if I wasn't there. Takes an hour to leave the house. Even then they'll set off without blazer on or without PE kit etc
Perfectly capable of getting their independently once out the door.
Sorts out all extra curricular stuff as interested and hyper focused on those

Private route better if you can afford it.
DS found transition in year 7 very hard. He coped very well in primary school as there is less organisation involved.

He found these areas very difficult: Navigating 5 lessons a day, moving from one class to another, being punctual for each class, focusing in each lesson, having the right equipment, following instructions, messy work, not knowing what the homework is, not knowing when assessments are, being socially immature compared to peers.

His secondary school is not geared up for SEND.

Medication really helps, but on the NHS it would have taken until year 9 for a diagnosis.
His self esteem had taken a real knocking by the end of year 7.

Meds were started at the beginning of year 8 after the diagnosis was made and things have really improved.