Help with 5 year old meltdowns at school

[Stressedmum1899]

My 5 year old started school 4 weeks ago, after the first 3 weeks he has started having what I call meltdowns. He becomes very hyper in the class room and then it results in him screaming and throwing things, he is very hard to calm down. The class room assistant will take him out for walks to keep him from boiling over. I'm at my wits end as I dnt know the reason behind this. Hes normally very good at home but since this started at school he can be hyper at home. The teacher says he can cope with independent play and his work but he cant cope when he needs to listen and learn as part of the class.
He has some sensory issues and prefers to seek out adults for chats instead of other children. He seems to cope ok with change and transitions. During his meltdowns he becomes very flushed looking and warm. Any parents have any advice to help me help him.

Did he go to nursery or preschool? My DS was always difficult to handle but it became more apparent when he was in large/group settings. He was actually diagnosed with ASD at 5, while in his first year of Junior school.
If the school environment is all new to him, he could just be taking time to adjust and kicking off at home too.
Give him as calm an environment at home as possible. Keep a diary of his behaviour and what the triggers are. Even keeping a note of the food he eats. My DS was triggered by a certain type of drink and I did actually think he had ADHD as he'd be off the wall. It seems pretty obvious now but when there's so much going on, it's difficult to keep tabs, so start doing it now.
It sounds like school are on board and they should provide guidance and get the necessary help, should he need it.

Hopefully he'll settle down and this will just be a phase.

He attended pre school but only ever had 1 meltdown there, but it was only 3 hours a day and it was mainly independent play, so no sitting around with class activities. He also went to a private nursery as i work and he started having meltdowns there so I removed him, I just assumed he was too young and the day was too long for him. Once i removed him his behaviours settled down until hes started school. I'm wondering is it the larger group setting that's setting him off. He had a further meltdown today and the head teacher who took him out of the class for 1 to 1 time felt he needs an assessment. Hes now also started making these noises and sounds at home and putting his hand in his mouth repeatedly, to me they seem like stims but they were never really there before. I'm currently monitoring his sugar levels to make sure he doesnt have too much, limiting screen time and giving him fish oils. I know none of these things will dramatically change the situation but I feel like I need to try something.

Hes also on a waiting list for a pediatric assessment and I'm going to see if I can push this on any faster.

Thanks for your reply it's good to hear other ppl have gone through this, as I just feel like everyone else's child has gone into school and is so normal and I think where have I gone wrong.

This sounds a lot like my DD, though her issues at school didn't really start until the end of year 1. She's now in year 2 and waiting to be assessed for ASD and Sensory Processing Disorder. I hope it happens soon and opens up more help as school say she wouldn't get an EHCP for more adult help as she's fine academically, but she can't stay in class when she's throwing things ( which I get is a safeguarding risk).

OP it sounds like DS needs an EHCNA. Other than the sensory movement breaks what other support are the school providing? Have you spoken to the SENCO?

@Jules912 the school are talking rubbish. It is possible to get an EHCP and be academically able. EHCPs are about more than academics. You can apply yourself. Support in schools is based on needs rather than diagnosis, so a diagnosis shouldn’t make much difference at school.

Thanks. Tbf school are being supportive and it's our local council that are rubbish and refuse EHCPs out of hand .

You can appeal if the LA refuse. Many have to appeal, but the majority of appeals are upheld. Telling you DD won’t get an EHCP because she is academically able isn’t supportive, they should know that isn’t correct or lawful.

Some great advice above. School needs to look at how they can support your child. Identify what he is struggling with and put measures in place. If he needs sensory breaks during group work then this should be planned rather than waiting until he's melting down. He may need someone to explain directly to him what's happening during this part of the day rather than being expected to take in information within the group. My ds can not take in information that's given to a group. It's literally like he can't process it/understand it's for him. He needs someone to break it down. Also if it's a concentration issue a sensory cushion may help, or fidget toys/ having something to do whilst being sat. If he's finding the classroom overwhelming then regular breaks/opportunity to regulate may help. You need to speak to senco and discuss a plan for moving forward.

@Stressedmum1899
Hi there , know this is an old thread , was just wondering how your son is now.?
My dd is 5yo and has meltdowns. At home & school. Just wondering did they improve with age ?