New SEN mum

[goldenT]

Hi
I've had concerns for my 2yr old for a while and we are on waiting list for speech and language, as well as. A paediatrician, luckily for me my child attends a wonderful nursery and we have been seen by the early years SEND advisory team, she was very honest and said she believes there is an additional need there, my child is non verbal. Although deep down I always knew something was different from my other 2 children, but I put it down to the not talking, can I ask is it normal to feel like your walking round in a haze? I find myself crying and struggle to tell family and when I do I can't say It without crying, I know my child has autism as my concerns have always been signs of this so I don't understand why I'm finding it hard to get my head round.
Anyone give any advise or tips

Hi! I don't have much advice because my son's only just recently being diagnosed with autism (he's 4) but I didn't want to leave your thread with no replies! I think it's normal to feel upset because you just don't know what lies ahead - at least that's the main thing for me now! He manages okay at the moment with help and understanding but I have no idea how much help he will need in the future and its scary. How are you doing today?

Thank you for replying, I'm feeling ok today some days I struggle but my worry's is I'm thinking to far a head and worried I won't be able to give the support needed, I hope your doing ok ? Did you suspect anything with your son or was it a shock ? If you don't mind me asking ? I be had concerns for a while but I put it down to not talking the positive thing from this is my child is 2 and getting early intervention is very important

I didn't really suspect anything when he was 2, he was behind in his talking but I wasn't too concerned with that. Once he was 3 I thought he might have some kind of processing delay. It was only when he went for his initial assessment for that and they mentioned referring him for an autism assessment that I really started paying attention and thinking yes he is totally autistic! I never suspected it before but then suddenly it was so obvious to me. Yes it's right about her being young! And autism doesn't always mean the worst thing sometimes it can just mean a bit of extra support and therapy for them to adjust and live a normal life!

Don't have much advice as I'm in the same situation. I've suspected for a while but something's changed this year and now school are finally seeing it too (and finding it hard to cope with her behaviour), which has confirmed it in my mind even without the official diagnosis.
I'm autistic myself so know it's perfectly possible for her to grow up and have a reasonably normal and successful life with a partner and a job, but feel sad knowing how much harder it'll be for her. Hoping some more support might be forthcoming once she's diagnosed - both for me and at school.

It's a huge adjustment. Give yourself time, you're allowed to feel however you feel.

I was surprised how much of a shock it was, even though we had been expecting it.

I just hope like others, this is not something that will take years, I work in a school and I've seen how long it can take some family's. I'm hoping as my child is 2 and the nursery he attends is very good at getting children seen that it will be all diagnosed and ECHP plan in place for when he starts reception in 2 years time.

I've found I'm coming to terms with all now I accepted what ever it is and this just makes him even more wonderful and unique I'm not crying and I don't cry when I've been telling close friends like I did when telling family in the beginning

My son's process was very quick because it was before primary school. Like a matter of a few months from referral to diagnosis. Hopefully yours will be too!

@MsChatterbox that's really good, the lady that been working with us said in my area there a wait for the paediatrician we are due to be seen in feb 2023, we will have been waiting a year but once we are seen I was told the process will be a lot quicker so that good to know but you just never know if it will be that simple.

It's hard being in limbo. We were advised while we were waiting (on pathway) to do lots of research/reading on asd and adapt our parenting as we felt needed. I also joined a couple of Facebook groups - ask the autistic adults and Autism UK support. I found both really helpful. I joined our local autism support group and attended sessions/meetings. So when the diagnosis came I felt prepared for it. The important thing to remember is your child is your child and regardless of diagnosis that doesn't change. I also found it helpful to not think about the future too much as it's all guess work and imagining worst case scenarios isn't helpful. My ds is 7 now and is the funniest sweetest most amazing little boy. We have come along way from the 2 year old who melted down 30+ times a day.

@autienotnaughty thank you I will look into some of the support groups could you tell me what the Facebook group ones are called