What do you think???

[clarisa]

My ds whos 9 suffers from dyspraxia and going through diagnosis for autism has been excluded from school...again. (mainstream)

On a swimming lesson it was his sisters turn to start swimming from one side to the other and he took it upon himself to follow.....he finds taking turns extremly difficult(which I am not by any means making excuses) He was told many a times by many a people to remove himself from the pool(including his fulltime 1 - 1)...and refused. In the end whole group had to be removed from pool. He was taken off and group continued swimming. On returning to school and sat in lesson HT stood at class door and asked him to go with him, ds refused and said he was working. ht went over to him 'grabbed' him by the arm and removed him from class. Ds has told me this today. He also told me his chair fell to the ground when ht did this. ds asked ht to let go of him when they got out of class.....which ht did. ht told ds to follow him to room. when inside room ht started shouting at him, ds put fingers in his ears and made humming noise. he asked ht to stop shouting at him as he didnt like shouting ( at home we talk to him, at his level and though he does not give eye contact, we know he listens....he cant tolerate loudness and certain other sounds, the school know this)

I have a phone call from ht asking to come and pick up son as he has been very rude to him, and advised he has been excluded until his 'attitude' has changed. I have meetig tomorrow morning with ds and ht to see whether or not ht thinks he should be allowed back in school. ds has said he does not want to go back to that school as everybody talks to him like he's an 'idiot'. I asked him what he ment by this and he says they always shout at him and are 'nasty' to him. I feel like I am always battling for ds to have a mainstream education. Has anyone any comments that may be of use???? by the way, someone has suggested that ht should not have manhandled ds like that, and that I need to take this further?? I am not happy about this but like I say ds has only spoke about this today

Has he got a statement? Is he getting the suport he needs? Doesn't sound like it.

Hi, no he has no statement as yet, was advised by senco to wait until I get diagnosis in feb. As to whether he gets support he needs I ask myself same question. He has a fulltime 1 - 1 , she is new to the postion......last school she was with a child with challenging behaviour. 1 - 1 before that was an x dinner lady who did the best she could. But neither have sen backgrounds or training

I am at HT behaviour ! Clearly he has no understanding of your DS. It sounds to me as though you would be better off going into school & giving them a bit of training !
Did the school follow the correct guidelines for exclusion by the way - that sounds a very poor reason for excluding a child.

I'm not sure what the guidelies are??? can you enlighten me???

I'd talk to the HT in a constructive way though. It maybe, it probably is the case, that what the HT did was fine, but it felt - and therefore was - alarming to your ds.

My ds2 is dyspraxic and in one games lesson he was in tears because the teacher 'wrestled' his shirt off him. He didn't of course, he pulled it off, but if your ds has sensory issues, then it will probably have felt v. alarming and terrible.

The HT isn't handling this right at all. But don't go in all guns blazing on the chair falling over, I think he sounds like he needs to understand how it works.

ie. insisting on eye contact and raising his voice will only bring up defensive behaviours in your ds.

I have been in and ssen teachers ht so many times before, giving them pratical advice on how to handle things....eg...not insisting on eye contact....not raising voices, but it still seems to be happening........... i feel like pulling my hair out. The school seems to be a cloning school for 'perfect kids' and if yours doesnt fit in then god help!!!

Ask the school if the HT has any restraining training.
My DS is very similar to yours and we have just been given a statement of 32 hours full time support even though we still dont have a formal diagnosis (think he has ADHD and ASD).
My DS is currently in a Pupil Referral Unit untill his statement is finalised. I would recommend applying for a statement yourself. It takes ages! We started the process back in March last year!!!!!! Ask in special needs and they will give you some great advice! IPSEA are brill too!

thanks for the advice bonkerz!! did you go for the statement yourself???

yes i sent the letter they provide on IPSEA website
It was hard work and we got refused assessment first so had to go to appeal but we won and have just got full time support. My son is undergoing assessment with CAMHS at the moment so diagnsis not far off.

You need to check what training the teachers have to restrain children. All teachers at DS school have had 'tem teach' training.
Also ask school to record ALL problem behaviours.

info here
It just seems a very poor reason for excluding a child with known issues. The school has a duty to try and do the best for your DS not turn their backs on him. I'm a TA in secondary & whilst I'm not an expert, I do have some experience of ASD & know how the schools actions won't help your DS at all. Makes me very cross

make sure the exclusions are formal and that the HT gives you all the relevant papers too.

Maybe do a check on my name from jan last year and take a look at my threads. I went though the same as you and posted on here and got some brilliant support.

thank youall so much for your time and advice will look into all that you have all sent me. Dreading the meeting tomorrow, as at the moment I am very angry.......will ride the waves!! again many thanks xx

Oh dear. Does sound like you need to follow up that potential autism dx - if he is autistic then the whole affair reads like an unavoidable car crash iykwim.

The whole affair demonstrates such a lack of understanding of autism it's frankly depressing. With a little bit of knowledge the whole situation could have been handled differently/avoided.

bonkerz..... a big thank you to you xxx i have just been reading your threads from jan last year (obviously not all of them) and now feel I am not alone......you did go through the same as me, and obviously have come out of it the correct way!!!! I agree brill advice, and websites you were put in touch with, will get as much crammed into my head tonight(even though I could quite easily sleep now!!!). the more lit and ammo I have the better. Again many thanks clarissa xx

dont be fobbed off. You are really going to have to fight to get the help and biggest thing is not to give up. Your son has EVERY right to an education and you need to be strong which is really hard at times!

Thank you all for your thoughts, ideas etc... all taken onboard!!!

Just to keep you in picture, ds has now had 3 exclusions, all due to lack of understanding etc etc. I have just had an eye opener of a meeting with head,classroom teacher, but one-one couldnt make??? (as due back today...but I am not taking him back) I took along a fantastic lady from Parent Partnership (FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE OFFERED THIS, DO SO!!). As many of you may already be aware, they can offer a trained volunteer (Independent Parental Supporter) to support you personally in a variey of ways in discussing and considering your childs needs.

Well, opened quite a few alarming things that are/ or not as the case may be happening in class. Certain proffessional people had put in there ideas and stratagies to help ds, and these have gradually all been taken away????( all due to not having a diagnosis yet!!!) Eg visual timetable/ own area/ reward system/ Approach/ timeout/ Alert Alert 'Scaffolding removed'. They thought he was coping and "didnt need to be different from any other child in class". So quite frankly I blew my lid!!! Also I was advised that for social reasons ALL children change desks quite frequently, well you can just imagine my thoughts there.

We have the long awaited meeting next week where all pro's and I discuss and come to a diagnosis/plan of action for ds needs. For all you out there that are just beginning the process, keep a strong head on those shoulders, I know its easy to feel you are on your own, but believe me, there are lots of other people out there with the same difficulties you are facing.

I went along with a friend (after a lot of persuation)to a group meeting for parents with autistic children/awaiting diagnosis...... and it is one of the best things I have done, just like on here, you can air your thoughts, problems and concerns......and low and behold, someone else has been through it, and there are windows that will open, and light at the other end.xx

By the way have been advised to seek support from GP to sign ds off school as he is unfit to attend.......due to all this exclusion,lack of understading and support from the school ds comes up with things like.......if I stab myself, I can have time off school because I am ill, if I bang my head harder on the wall/desk I will get a headache and will not need to go to school. I hate school and I hate you (me) for taking me. So have to go and see her this afternoon. I am going to stand firm, I am not going to compromise anymore, he has missed nearly 2 years of the provided curriculum due to there lack of awareness,understanding and support.

Will keep you all updated, as and when things happen!! Again many thanks for all the support and advice and again like I said all has been taken onboard xxx

bye for now clarissa xx

XXX also have now applied for a statement of education, so another wait ahead!!XXXXX

Clarissa, I think you need to rather gently point out to the school that they should bear in mind his disabilities when punishing him. As part of the Disability Discrimination Act, a school MUST take into account a kid's SEN when considering bad behaviour and, for instance, cannot simply apply the same punishment to an ASD kid for ignoring an instruction as to a "normal" kid, as that would be to fail to take into account the ASD. They must put in place strategies to ensure the disabilities are taken into account. The HT shouting at a kid with ASD and sensory problems, who is clearing holding his ears and has asked not to be shouted at, is pretty bad. But because he has not got the DX yet, they are treating him as just a naughty child. Autism is the "invisible" disability in a way, as they look normal. But as my lawyer pal pointed out, if they told the wheelchair-bound child to "get out and walk, we can't be bothered to put in a ramp to help you", they would be in clear trouble. The ramp in your child's case is allowance being made for his autistc needs. The sooner the school understands that the better, as it sounds like he is being wrongly treated and you could even have a case under the DDA. But sometimes just a mention of the fact that you've taken "informal legal advice relating to disability discrimination legislation" might be all it takes for them to get their act together. I so feel for you and DS!