how do you know if just speech delay or more serious

[bubblagirl]

i have had few threads about my ds 2.7 has been assessed by salt who says his understanding levels are behind

he understandas all we ask of him go get this fromm your room ect

but not simple questions also still not trying to start conversation sometimes he does but its just babbling

cannot pronounce certain letters in words mummy is nunny but will say mama daddy is gaggy bob is gog all be words start with g can individually say letters s,f,d,t,m,b,

well im worried as i know its being suggested its more to it

have stories back with dc who now understand questions such as what is your name he cant do what where when why

can copy what your saying

well i guess i'm asking if was more with dsc what other signs rere there and if was just speech delay does my ds sound similar

just need to hear other stories as last few days since first assessment which was inconclusive i have done nothing but worry losing sleep feel tearful all the time

part of me thinks maybe he is autistic or have some form then i have others asaying yeah but my dc didnt do that either and there ok

he doesnt try to talk to anyone at playschool but only been 8-9 times so with sd surely this would be too soon

please just tell me your stories and how your dc are doing maybe itll make me feel more at ease with my ds situation thank you sorry for rambling

aw Bubbla
It takes a great deal of time to get over the shock.
But you do get over it.
I remember so clearly when DS2 was diagnosed ( although he is very severe) and it is such a difficult thing to take in.
Do try to remember though that HFA covers such a range of children and your little one is still so little.
My DS is a million miles away from the child I was told to expect - he is fabulous and gorgeous and doing so well.
Take time and don't forget that in knowing your child and their difficulties comes the means by which you can help them.

thanks every one for the support i feel more hopeful now i have had time to think as he is coming on leaps and bounds is so loving and sociable and always willing to learn so these can only be positive things

with the right help i know he will progress and be ok i just hope now they do all what they are supposed to and i dont have to spend all my time chasing them to do so

well i know now my ds has HFA finally although when i wrote that just burst into tears so guess i am ok but its still raw another worry but listening to him singing and smiling at me i have nothing but hope and with tomorrow as a new day strength also

he is so bright and brings me so much joy to me he is still my little bubbla not the bubbla with HFA

Bubbla,
I was in the exact same situation as you 6 months ago. I just wanted to echo what pagwatch and the others have said really. I know how raw you must be feeling right now and how devastating this is for a family. When my ds was diagnosed, I felt bereaved and very fearful for the future. Now, I look at ds and think what an incredible child he is. I no longer wish away the autism because it makes him who he is. I never thought I would feel like this !

This is not the end - simply the beginning of a new path for you, your ds and your family. As a Mum you will know what is best for your child and once the shock starts to wear off, then a plan will form.

Last year, a wonderful lady called Kitegirl rescued me from the depths of gloom and I will be eternally grateful for her input and friendship.

I have just paid my CAT fee so you can contact me if you wish to. xxx

I feel a bit tearful reading your thread, bubblagirl because our sons sound very similar. Mine is 2.8 and has had one assessment with the SLT and will go back in october.

He is a bright and active wee boy and has a wide vocabulary, but doesn't put words together into sentences and doesn't ask or respond to questions.

i had always considered that this was just his normal stage of development, but after his referral to SLT by HV, i have really started to worry.

the SLT was identifying things like his lack of eye contact, his position when playing (lying in close to toys) and his determination to follow his own agenda, and all of these things had alarm bells ringing. when she asked if i had any questions at the end, i wanted to ask if she was thinking about autism, but couldn't bring myself to ask the question.

it has been heartening to read about other people's experiences, especially cluttercup, who says that she accepts that autism is part of who her child is.

keep giving us updates on your wee boy's progress, bubblagirl, as that's also helpful.

ragged - my DS was very similar (if anything with less language) to bubbla's DS and how you described your DS at 36 months. 14 months or so down the line, he still has speech delay but is much improved (from severe delay to moderate), and his eye contact and play/pretend play has very much improved alongside his language. He didn't end up getting DX'ed with ASD - the paed thinks my DS probably doesn't have it, but they want to keep an eye on him.

that's good to know TC - i'm a bit of a pendulum just now - one moment i feel there might be something to worry about and then i look at my happy wee boy and think it is ridiculous to worry; it will all come when he is ready.

hi ragged sorry hadnt checked this thread for a while now

well my ds has come on leaps he is using words that are actually in context now and more are appearing each day

speech sounds still are not there bob is still gog etc he seems to replace beginning sounds with a g or a k but its the words that im more impressed about we actually talk

not like other 3 yr olds but we talk now he will say what he wants but is at a no not that stage and then yes that yes that screaming at top of his lungs but i love it as his talking lol

your ds sounds so much like my ds at that age but you know once he was diagnosed things were roller coaster for a while but my bond with my ds grew and i never thought that possible i understand him so much better

i use choices as he is very much by his own agenda so i have to say rigfht you do it or i do it and he'll do it as he wants to be in control

everything we dioo is a choice and saves so much stress brush your teeth

him no

me right mummy do it or you do it next brushing teeth as he wants to do it

i only say all this as before i was frustrated i struggled to be around himas i didnt understand him loved him but frustration on both parts was causing me d=so much stress i got ill

now no stress as such maybe when his having a moment but now i know how his mind is working and find i dont stress so much now as i know why he does it

since updating this thread my ds has come along leaps he has started to do some pretend play and his speech is really coming along

one piece of good advise SALT gave me was to verbalise everything im doing as to speak they need to understand the actions to the words felt silly to begin with but now i do it naturally and my ds came on leaps in first few weeks of doing that

oh and in last month maybe less he says whats that nunny as cant say mummy but can mama whats that whats that asking and pointing at all sorts of things huge change this was a boy at 2 half wasnt saying a peep still along way to go but in 6 mths has come along so far

hope your ds's speech comes along and remember it doesnt change them but does help you understand them a nd that alone is great we get to see the world 2 ways

xx

i'll keep updated let us know how your ds comes along

oh and his becoming quite a little joker as well in his own cheeky way

i'll say do you want an egg he'll say 10 eggs with cheeky smile on his face

and he'll pretend an animal is actually called by a different name makes me chuckle as i went from nothing to a little joker who chats nearly all day not all conversation but mainly to himslef telling himself what things are etc

alot of repetitiveness still but still its sound heard him the other day saying oh i cant reach trying to steal sweets from workm top lol

where as before he would nt know that was couldnt reach or to high or i cant find it now i have speech like this and its such a relief where are you mama i find you

i never thought i would ever hear it was always one or jsut 2 words together nothing really had relevance as such just names of things now he will say get on train look theres a bus mama

i no longer compare either as i found i wasnt appreciationg how far he had come i was creating nrew hurdles i wanted him to achieve i accept him for who he is and its great his great my little angel face

it is very scary and if you need to talk im here x

oh and his becoming quite a little joker as well in his own cheeky way

i'll say do you want an egg he'll say 10 eggs with cheeky smile on his face

and he'll pretend an animal is actually called by a different name makes me chuckle as i went from nothing to a little joker who chats nearly all day not all conversation but mainly to himslef telling himself what things are etc

alot of repetitiveness still but still its sound heard him the other day saying oh i cant reach trying to steal sweets from workm top lol

where as before he would nt know that was couldnt reach or to high or i cant find it now i have speech like this and its such a relief where are you mama i find you

i never thought i would ever hear it was always one or jsut 2 words together nothing really had relevance as such just names of things now he will say get on train look theres a bus mama

i no longer compare either as i found i wasnt appreciationg how far he had come i was creating nrew hurdles i wanted him to achieve i accept him for who he is and its great his great my little angel face

it is very scary and if you need to talk im here x

dont know what happened there double post sorry

ragged you dc are adoreable x

aww thanks so much for your replies. it's GREAT to hear how much your son has come on and how much he is saying now. he is a wee angel face right enough!

i've been writig down a lot of things he says for when we go back to the SALT. we had a really good day today. in the shopping centre he was pointing all around going, "wow, beautiful!" and tonight he was puushing his facecloth around the edge of the bath saying "it's a train, choo choo!" which i was really excited about!

he does use my finger to point when he is looking at a book, and pulls me by the hand to show me things, but now that i notice him doing it, i try to give him other ways to show me things instead.

i've definitely been giving him more choices to try to involve him more, that's been a great tip, thanks. and i did verbalise everything when he was very young, but i'm wondering if i don't do it with him so much now, so i'll try to do it more.

not comparing is a really important point. we're just at the stage where all his wee friends have overtaken him and are starting to have proper conversations, so it is so sad when people ask ds1 a question and he just ignores it. like you say, i'll just try to focus on the progress he's making himself. thanks again! sorry for the long post. keep in touch!

dont be sorry if you look back i was on here all the time needing to hear how others had come along etc

i do occasionally compare ds still but have to stop myself as he is who he is and thats what i need to focus on comparing him to a nt child isnt an option as he'll never be that

but to see him for who he is and how far he has come is the best way as keeps you in perspective of it all

its good he is sharing attention with you ds now points at things in books i have noticed over last few days when i ask him a question he usually doesnt look at me when responding which i never noticed before SALT pointed thisd out he has on few occasions looked me in the eyes when replying

abd he has also looked at me for responce of whatever he has done so progress in all areas

not sure if you have a SNAP centre where you live but they have been godsend he does music therapy with them and we do a mon which is just free play its a group special needs and parents so you get to meet like minded people and children and have support through them as a team

chices is fab everyone who sees how ds responds is astounded as we have no major freak outs i just raise my voice slightly and ask again and he does it

and definatly verbalise everything i still do it mummys cooking dinner mind the oven its hot , im putting water in cup to make tea etc just anything im doing and he soon learnt what i was doing and verbalised it his speech didnt come along until we did this

also he loves sittiing on the computer c beebies website has taught him alot too

my ds wont say hello to people will happily say goodbye wont engage in any talk unless he knows them i jst say his very shy and laugh it off

prompted he can say hello at home i say what do you say when i say hello and he says hello so we practice but his yet to use it

cannot understand the how old are you he says his name can say his name to me and family but not others he becomes mute in pre school environment and just does as asked but they have to speak to him personally as he has no understanding of group instruction he doesnt realise his being spoken to

anyway i will keep you informed and i hope you feel ok i know how stressful all this is i lost my hair through stress on one side but now i know and can cope better its all well again cant say i dont worry i do every day but not to the same extent

good luck xx

ragged - ask your SALT if their department do Hanen courses (hanen is a canadian organisation that helps kids with speech delay). Hanen courses are 9 X 2 hour sessions (with some home visits by SALT) to teach you how to help you bring your child on. They are very much focussed on bringing speech/communication into everyday activities, rather than doing specific exercises. even if you can't do a course right now, there are 2 books by the Hanen organisation "you make the difference" by Ayola Manolson and "it takes two to talk" that have a lot of practical ideas about helping your kid speak. Another couple of books that are helpful are:-
1)playing laughing and learning with children on the autism spectrum by Julia Moor (although written for parents of kids with ASD, it's still very useful for speech delay). lots of practical ideas for play
2)the language of learning (will track down author). another one with lots of ideas about play and language.

bubbla - salt pointed out to me that DS eye contact goes when he's find it hard to think of what to say - so maybe it's because he's struggling to listen and respond iyswim when he's asked questions. DS also still struggles with answering questions - e.g. couldn't answer without LOTs of prompts this week "what do you like playing with at nursery". It's his one big week area. Whereas where SALT had him describing what was going on in a picture card, his expressive language would not be far off age appropriate.

also bubbla - one exercise SALT suggested to help kids with problems with sounds is to clap out each syllable of a word - it's meant to raise phonological awareness.

thank you total can always count on you for help

his coming along great my ds cant answer what have you done or what do you like questions can answer what is this or where is it this but not what his beeen doing etc

pre school mentioned that they would do photos of what his been doing but whether they will is different story as if show him picture of someone painting or playing football he can say

will remind pre school to do this for us

and will try the clapping thing with him hopefully we'll get there

thanks for that tc, it sounds useful.

Hi!
Your boy sound sound so much like mine. Can you tell me if he's improved and what you did to help him?

Hi

I wouldn't be overly worried, some children just develop differently there is not necessarily something wrong.

I have posted before about my son, but to cut a very long story short, he didn't talk properly until about 7. Diagnosed as being autistic, we where told he probably wouldn't be independent when older. He's now 13, in mainstream school, very sociable, excellent talker, lots of friends, plays rugby, goes on sleepovers, residential school trips etc. Diagnosed with severe dyslexia/dyscalculia and will never be academic, but coping in mainstream school.

User - this thread is like 8 years old you may get more help if you do a new post about your DS.