Sending autistic child to relatives to access small class sizes

[BelleMarionette]

Currently, my DC who is 7 with autism is in a state mainstream school, and isn't coping. There are over 30 in a class, and they are finding the noise and overcrowding unbearable, and as a result are not spending any time in the classroom, due to disruptive behaviour. School time does not result in any learning as a result. They are intelligent but behind in all areas.

A private school has recently opened near a relative and they have small class sizes (under 10). It sounds ideal.

Unfortunately, logistics wouldn't work with them staying with us and attending school, so they would need to stay with relatives.

Financially, it would be a stretch, but possible.

Am I crazy to consider this?

Currently, I feel like I'm left with no option, as school is letting them down so badly.

Independent schools are often not accommodating of pupils with SEN, and when they are they often charge extra for support.

Does DS have an EHCP? Has he had a sensory OT assessment?

I think if it would financially be a stretch it isn’t doable, fees get more expensive as DC get older and with inflation as it is. I would worry a mainstream independent school with classes less than 10 will struggle to remain viable.

No to both of the above. I'm investigating both of these. Currently on the NHS waiting list for OT but I think I will just go for a private assessment. Sensory issues definitely play a big role.

I am hoping that smaller class sizes on their own would be transformative.

The school said that they have children with additional needs, and would consider my child, but I don't know in practice what they are like of course.

Personally, I wouldn’t move now but request an EHCNA (IPSEA have a model letter you can use). If you move now without further support in place it could be jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire risking the placement breaking down which could be devastating for DS’s wellbeing and mental health.

Understand why the small classes could be a game changer for DC. Have pre school ASD DD and empathise with these tough decisions and wondering what is best for them.

But I would worry whether the staying with relatives / lack of contact with you and home routine could be a bigger negative than the positive change. Has DC often stayed with these relatives / do they adjust ok to changes in routine?

There must be some independents near your house? I wouldn’t send him to the relatives house too much stress.

Also, do consider that the independents have a longer day compared to the state school day which is much shorter. I strongly believe “more work “ is expected from the independents schools too as they push the kids ….. so 2 points to consider.

plus get the ball rolling on the EHCP …. It’s not a quick process.

new teacher next year might help a bit if she is a caring one 🤞

I would be wary about this. Small class sizes don’t often make much of a difference on their own, in my experience. An understanding school that is willing to make adjustments is more important.

An Independent school can be a good fit for some autistic children, depending on presentation, but you do need to have a very clear idea of needs before accepting a place. If you check a school’s policies there will generally be a clause stating full disclosure of SEN is required before admission and an offer will be withdrawn or a student asked to leave if, in the School’s view, needs cannot be met.

As others have said, I would focus on applying for an EHCNA. The process will give you a better idea of needs/support required and then you can move on from there.