Yr1 ASD getting violent at school

[LegoLugger]

My 6 yo was diagnosed ASD earlier this year and I'm feeling like getting his needs met at school is an uphill battle.

On the one hand they were the ones who set things in motion by getting the SENCO to observe him when his teacher noted social communication problems.

On the other hand they have discouraged and denied he has extra needs every step of the way. They asked me to wait before seeking diagnosis (which was settled within 3 NHS appointments). They said they believe the diagnosis but told me he is happy and wonderful at school and doesn't need any extra provision, though he has been the subject of bullying, and at home he has meltdowns, refusal episodes and aggression that builds up over term time.

He expresses a lot of confusion around social interactions at school. Playdates have become more disastrous as he's got older...I think the social skills gap between him and other boys his age is already widening. He's an expert at masking in the classroom....until he can't. He doesn't mask in the playground and this leads to problems.

Finally this week he's been getting violent with other kids. The school are shocked as he's normally a keen rule-follower And finally they want to chat about 'what else we can do'.

I'm finding it so hard not to be furious, despair that they are clueless about autism, and feel like theres a big battle up ahead. I'm not an expert either though I'm learning all I can.

I know the school is very pressed for resources and there are autistic kids who are more disruptive or have greater need in the school. I really want to move forward effectively without making teachers feel I'm just being a PITA.

More than anything I'm desperate to do whatever it takes to avoid him attacking other kids in the playground, which I know happened because he was stressed.

He's clearly not getting the support he needs at school, he's communicating that via his behaviour and I'd very much include the at home behaviour in that as well. If he was well supported at school you wouldn't be dealing with those issues. Have you looked into applying for an ehcp? He clearly needs extra support and you can apply for an assessment yourself. The violent behaviour at school is clear evidence to support an application.

Hi

I would second need to apply for EHCP, yourself. Bear in mind that it is not really in a schools interest to provide Sen provision or encourage applications for a EHCP as it costs them money, of which there isn't enough, unless behaviour problems become significant.

Thank you. When I've asked about an EHCP I've been pushed back at, hard. I'm starting to understand that it's a battle and things have to get bad before they get better...

You can apply for an EHCNA yourself, you don’t need the school’s agreement.

The school don't get to dictate the situation. If you want to apply for an ehcp you can do it yourself, his behaviour at school is evidence. They have to record these incidents, I'd ask for that paperwork. If you do apply and get turned down for an assessment don't worry, it's easily challenged as the threshold for assessment is very low. I would also consider if the current school is the right school. They don't seem remotely helpful or understanding of his needs.

More info on an ehcp assessment and how to apply yourself below.

www.ipsea.org.uk/ehc-needs-assessments

I would encourage you to go into the meeting with the school and set the premise that his needs have to be better understood in order to be supported, and that needs to happen through a ECHNA. Things can get a lot lot worse before they get better. E.g. reduced timetables, exclusions etc. What the school needs to demonstrate to go down these routes is that it is doing what it reasonably can to meet his needs. In the absence of professionals assessing his needs, the school more or less gets to determine what those needs are.

@Simcha @greenjewel Thank you these have been really helfpul. The school have yet to set a time for the meeting which I feel is really slow considering what happened was quite serious and there's a paper trail that looks bad for them (I've said for months he's not doing great; there were incidents a couple weeks ago they said they'd talk to us about but we've heard nothing; I emailed on the day he hit some kids to say he'd been really rough with a child after school, and warning them that some end of term 'fun' things happening that day would make it harder for him to regulate - reminding them he struck a child during the same 'fun' event last year).

The SENCO is part-time. His teacher (for next 3 weeks anyway) has responded amazingly but is doing things that aren't sustainable (basically giving him 1:1 level attention while trying to manage the whole class).

@LargeLegoHaul your username !

Try to get it in writing that DS is being provided with 1:1 and is still not having his needs met. It will help with the EHCNA request.

We could open multiple Lego stores and still have plenty at home.

Thanks, I hadn't thought of that.

My home is like a Lego museum. i.e. If you lay a finger on the carefully laid out Lego sets, my son will call the police.

Just so you know it doesn’t change as they get older. DS’s Lego obsession is just as strong now as it was when they were younger. Then again I don’t know why I expected anything else as DH is an AFOL.