Independent school and pack lunch problem

[JoJo198]

This is my first post from a parent with all children with additional needs . My 10 yr old goes to independent school in primary just started (last year end of term) . They have a very strict lunch policy that children eat the hot meals there . My child has always had a special shop lunch , which they ate since very young age . Now teacher today make these remarks which didn’t sit well with me . “ oh we are worried about other children will have issues as your child brings certain food which they aren’t allowed to” I said I am sure your school knows very under the disability act my child should be allowed to bring their own lunch as they don’t like school lunch . Now being spectrum and ADHD and then meds is a lot and then not being a good eater it just adds up to my child’s struggles if the pack lunch isnt allowed . She did reply “I have worked with 100s of autistic children and that’s why we can get the catering staff to cook something what is required for the student . Knowing very well the whole school has issues with their hot meals and most children are starving by the end of the day as they don’t like their lunches and problem wasn’t solved even after 2/3 months after the complain . I know very well how my child is and what they like to eat . I want to know that I have set up a meeting with head as I won’t be allowed to send the pack lunch until I have meeting with the head of the school . Is it too much to ask as the child clearly has disability and simply just wants to take the pack lunch . ?

A packed lunch instead of a school lunch is a reasonable adjustment. Although, the school are likely to argue by being willing to make a meal DS will eat they are making reasonable adjustments.

Did you not discuss this difficulty prior to DS starting?

We discussed about how DS is not big on eating and as doc mentioned that’s mainly because of being on spectrum . So understandable , that he likes few things . Well if they can make it then I will let them cook different as punch money is being pack lunch is adding more money on top of that and also me sourcing it in time regularly . But as a mother I happy to do it as I know that lunch will go into my child tummy and DS will have his fill .

No it's not too much to ask, and hopefully the meeting will resolve it.

It's exactly this sort of inflexibility that has put us off 5 private mainstream schools so far. On one level they are accommodating, but underneath there's a strong expectation of compliance and a lot more rules to follow. However, this may be just a one-off with a teacher who didn't get the memo, and has now boxed themselves into a corner. If so it should be easily solved. It's just so draining having to fight battles that shouldn't have to be battles.

Unfortunately its and Independent School so they can do what they like. My DS got kicked out of a private school and one of the reasons was that at the time he couldn’t stomach the hot meals with no plain options. They wouldn’t even accept him wanting a jacket potato with cheese and salad everyday. In his state primary he happily eats hot dinners every day as there is no pressure. Hopefully the school will be reasonable and see its a reasonable adjustment but given my experience its a big red flag that this is an issue over something as trivial as this.

Unfortunately its and Independent School so they can do what they like.

Independent schools still have to comply with the Equality Act.