Lack of school support

[taylorsdoinapart]

Hi

This is really long, so I apologise...

I have a child who I'm fairly certain has ADHD (and potentially other difficulties). He's 12 and in year 7. He's always had difficulties but they have become more obvious since he started secondary school in sept.

He is impulsive and will react before he thinks. On two occasions he has been violent and then sent to another school in lieu of an exclusion. Both times he's been violent in response to another child 'pressing his buttons'. This isn't an excuse - I'm just trying to explain the situation.

I have been to meeting after meeting. I have begged the SENCO to see him and he didn't even reply to my email until I complained. The SENCO has never even spoken to him or seen him. I've been to meeting after meeting. I truly believe he needs a ta sat right next to him to keep him focussed and stop his frustration growing until he explodes. School prefer a cross-their-fingers approach. If I was a parent of another child in that classroom I'd be terrified for my child to be with such a volatile child and I'd wonder what they were doing to safeguard my child.

To be clear, my child has occasions of violence after he is frustrated. Generally he is calm and kind, he just lacks the impulse control to calm back down if something sets him off. But he's unpredictable, he may be fine for days or he may be aggressive. He may go into school and be fine in one lesson but not the next.

I'm worried that school are waiting until he's violent enough to exclude him and wash their hands of him. He doesn't need to be violent, or distressed. If he had support right there in the classroom he would flourish. He's a bright boy, floundering in the bottom sets because he's inattentive and then disruptive.

After his last occasion of violence I reminded them that I'd said the first time that without support it's likely to reoccur. I asked again for the SENCO to see him and the Ed psych. I also said that in my opinion he needs a ta, partly to safeguard the rest of the class. The senco was glossed over but I was told the Ed psych would see him this week.

He came home yesterday with some worksheets on anger. Great, he can do those and they likely will help BUT school are going to remove him from a lesson a day to do them. He's already spending lessons stood outside and missing sessions when he's refusing to go in or at another school in isolation. The cynical part of me thinks his behaviour in the class will improve if he isn't there! He's also been told there's no option of a ta and the Ed psych isn't coming anymore. I sent an email to clarify but no one has replied to me.

I'm sorry, this is such a long post now. I don't know what to do or where to turn. I took him to the gp and they had a waiting list of months and months. I'm getting him privately assessed now but school won't even confirm if that would be accepted by them. He's started to school refuse in a morning and I can't see a way forward without someone sat with him. I know that kids have more extreme needs and that schools are skint, I know that. But I don't see how he will manage without. It just feels like school are waiting until he's violent enough to permanently exclude him.

Another school isn't really an option, all of the secondaries in the area are oversubscribed.

Can anyone help with what I should do next please?

The school have a statutory duty to make their best endeavours to meet DS’s SEN. If you feel DS needs more support have you applied for an EHCNA? Realistically, a long term 1:1 isn’t going to happen without an EHCP. EP time is limited and often the only way to ensure an assessment is via an EHCNA.

Withdrawing pupils from lessons for SEN support such as emotional literacy is normal. Although it could be arranged so that it takes place during the non-core lessons DS finds the most challenging.

LAs and schools cannot refuse to accept private assessments just because they are private. You are less likely to have the validity of any potential diagnosis challenged if the assessments follow NICE guidelines and the staff also do/have previously done NHS work.

I haven't applied because at the moment no other professionals are involved and school won't admit he's struggling. Am I likely to be turned down without schools support?

Having the school’s support isn’t essential and you don’t need any other agencies involved at this stage. Make a SAR to gather evidence e.g. of DS being sent out of class and put in isolation, violence etc. If you are initially refused appeal, the majority of appeals are upheld.

Excellent, thank you. That's very helpful.

We have a family SEND Day online this Saturday
We have rooms dedicated to ADHD and over 15 other areas/ topics of SEND
Parents attending will have access to over 30 Specialist Staff who will have time to answer questions etc
It is a chance to meet other Parents in the same
Anybody can attend as it is online

www.eventbrite.com/e/292411238887

Didn’t want to read and run but we are going through EXACTLY the same thing with 12 year old DC - also year 7 and also struggling. In our case there is a lot of talk but no action. We are seriously considering another school but in the meantime a couple of things seem to have got their attention:

firstly, DC started self-harming so it is now a safeguarding issue. Unfortunately, school seem to be covering their arses in just doing enough to make sure it doesn’t happen in school (I have used this to reinforce the “duty of care” argument)

Secondly, we paid for a private psychiatrist - managed to get a recommendation from the GP - we now have an assessment date and the school has been sent the paperwork which means the senco has to get involved. The psychiatrist has also written a report saying that DC would benefit from reduced hours and I am taking them out whenever things get too much (school has complained but I refer to the self-harming and safeguarding issue above). The reduced attendance has played havoc with my work but I think it has helped DC

finally we are paying for counselling for DC. This doesn’t help directly with school but it is helping and the counsellor sees a lot of kids from DCs school so is able to advise me on the best strategies in terms of dealing with the Senco.

As you said, it is really hard for schools in this situation. They can’t really do anything without a formal assessment as their resources are so limited.

I might add that DC has one-to-one time with a teacher each week and does a session a week in a small group focusing on anxiety. They also have the option of stepping outside the classroom if they feel things are getting too much but they have never used this because they are too anxious and by the time they need it it’s too late. So far nothing else has been offered.

If DS cannot attend school full time the LA should be providing alternative arrangements. This should begin when it becomes clear 15 days will be missed, the days don’t need to be consecutive or have already been missed.

Part time timetables should only be short term aimed at reintegration, after that DC should be in school full time or other arrangements made as well or instead of.

You should also apply for an EHCNA.

A formal assessment and diagnosis is not required. Support is based on needs.

Secondary SENCO here. Who have you been meeting with if not the SENCO? If he had been excluded from previous schools and started to demonstrate similar behaviour at this school you absolutely should have met them early on.

Secondary schools often only have 3 children per term that can be seen by an ed psych (that is usually what they are allocated) so in that way they have prioritised your son as he has managed to get a slot. Also allocating a staff member for an hours 1:1 a day sounds great. They will be short on staff so they are prioritising him here as well. What else did the ed psych report say? It does sound like they should have done this much earlier though and you have every right to be frustrated.

I understand you feel he needs a TA with him permanently but this just won't happen. They do not have the money or staff to do this as your son does not have the funding that comes alongside an EHCP. I agree with a PP that you can apply for an EHCP yourself and do not need the school to initiate this.

Schools cannot exclude unless SEN needs have been ruled out/met fully as the parent can appeal. Maybe drop into your next conversation with them that you are scared he is close to being excluded again which wouldn't be fair as you feel his SEN needs are not being met. Might make them think of more they can do to help.

Start gathering and keeping evidence. This can be things like confirming main points back by email after a conversation or meeting if you don’t get meeting notes. Keep a daily diary of anything that’s happened both at school and behaviours at home. You can use this to request ehcp assessment it doesn’t have to be from a 3rd party professional, you may be turned down initially but as poster above said the bar for assessment is very low so you’d win on appeal. If he is being sent home at all make sure it’s an official exclusion and you are given paperwork.

I’m experiencing a very similar situation with my DS. It’s horrendous. School has ignored my requests to see the Sendco until I called her myself directly and have arranged a meeting. Ds has had 2 fixed term exclusions for fights but there are bullying issues in the background which the school doesn’t seem to want to acknowledge or address. They just ignore them. DS has expressed thoughts of self harm but when I told the school in an email (I thought they should be aware) they haven’t responded. The head seems dismissive of any send issues being an explanation for some of the behavioural stuff. He said the decision to exclude couldn’t take account of any send issues that “may or may not exist” (I don’t think this is correct). He’s a new head and I checked the ofsted from his last school which was requiring improvement in all areas and had a high exclusion rate for send students. DS is sliding academically (above average on cat tests) but he says he loves the school and doesn’t want to move!

Pupils should not normally be excluded for behaviour that arising due to their disability, but if the exclusions are for fighting you are highly unlikely to successfully challenge them as the school will argue they had a legitimate health and safety reason for excluding.

If you feel DS needs more support you can apply for an EHCNA yourself.

I do see the schools perspective re safety but this was a prolonged campaign of verbal and physical abuse from an older child towards DS. He hit my DS who then hit back and was seen doing so. The bullying stopped immediately which I guess is a good thing but not through any input from the school. Unfortunately we only found out about the bullying after it happened (when trying to find out why the hell he would hit a seemingly random other child) because my DS thought being slapped in the corridor and called names was normal in a high school because it clearly happens every day there.