School asking to collect DD a lot HELP!

[ADHDgirls]

DD 13 has learning difficulties and highly likely ADHD, we’ve seen a psychiatrist and they’ve said she’s definitely got it but the diagnosis has to be “officially” made by a certain team and the waiting list has been so so long already.

I have just secured an EHCP for her which is in draft phase currently and I’ve asked her to be moved to an SEN school. Currently in mainstream secondary.

Every single day at school is a struggle of epic proportions, thrown out of classes all the time which has recently developed into her refusing to leave the lesson she’s been sent out of even when senior members of staff come and get her. She feels she being thrown out for unjust reasons, usually the reasons are similar won’t stop talking, moving around the class, not listening what she’s been asked. She is very behind her peers both academically and in emotional maturity.

As it stands I’ve had multiple meetings in school where I have repeated myself thousands of times about her hyperactivity her impulsive behaviour and so on. They put in some things to help but a lot of the teachers don’t stick to her Personalised Plan. This is now ending in me being asked to collect her when she refuses to leave a lesson, which is difficult all round because whilst yes, I get it, a kid is disrupting a class and refusing to follow rules which is a nightmare, I just can’t help but feel like they’re not taking her needs/issues into consideration and immediately jumping to sending her home.

Does anyone have any words of wisdom abouT how to deal with this? I honestly think because she’s had undiagnosed ADHD since she was small with no support at all it’s now crossing over into ODD.

When they send DD home are they formally excluding her? If not, refuse to pick DD up unless she is formally excluded. By asking you to pick DD up without formally excluding her they are illegally excluding her. Formal exclusions will also provide you with evidence to support your preference for SS.

Also, remind them that failing to make reasonable adjustment such as those on her personalised plan is disability discrimination.

What week of the EHCP are you on? Are the LA sticking to the timescales?

As far as I’m aware it’s not a formal exclusion it hasn’t been said, they have however asked me to come in tomorrow morning for a reintergration meeting. I declined this at first but received a strongly worded email this evening stating that I must come in because it’s very serious (today she refused to leave a lesson and told a member of staff to P off). I don’t want to go because I’m so sick of having multiple meetings, saying the same stuff and then hearing the same old crap back about what they’re going to do to help - nothing works. Sorry I’m just so stressed out with it all and I’m doing it all alone.

They have 4 more weeks I think to finalise the plan. The LA have been surprisingly good with timescales so far, no issues there, I did however have to go to tribunal for my older daughter to get her place at the SEN school, I’m guessing I’ll need to do this again because we’re in one London borough and the only suitable school is the next borough over.

I won’t be picking her up anymore when they ask then unless it’s definitely a formal exclusion. I honestly don’t know the answer to making school easier.

If it was a formal exclusion you would have paperwork.

Even if it was a formal exclusion you cannot be forced to attend a reintegration meeting.

Thanks for your helpful advice I appreciate it, I’ve never dealt with mainstream secondary school before with a child that has the needs my DD has. I’ll make it clear in the meeting today I won’t be collecting her anymore unless the exclusion is formal with paperwork.

I will attend this meeting purely to make my point heard but unless it’s an EHCP meeting I won’t be attending anymore of them.

I’m unsure of where to go from here with it all, as if the LA won’t get her into the school I’ve asked I can see a future of this forever more.

Once you have had the meeting follow it up with an email so you have a paper trail should you need it.

If the LA don’t name your preference appeal. You will need evidence at that point, which is why it is important to not allow the school to illegally exclude, you need the paperwork.

While you are appealing if DD cannot attend school e.g. because her mental health is suffering the LA have a statutory duty to provide an alternative education under s.19 of the Education Act 1996. Because DD will have an EHCP too they must also provide anything specified and quantified in F.

Thanks for your help. She’s been formally excluded today for one day, there is talk of a special unit now for 7 weeks, for teens with poor behaviour. I haven’t heard very good things about this place to be honest so I may have to push back against this? I’m worried she will fall into the wrong crowd.

Don’t worry too much about the exclusion, it provides you with evidence. I would push back against a PRU unless they are experienced with the type of SEN DD has. PRUs vary so much area to area and even within LAs. If continuing in MS isn’t appropriate you could suggest home tuition instead or another type of alternative provision such as a care farm until the EHCP is finalised with a SS.