Can the Teachers/Sen dept do more for him?

[SunsetOnTheHorizon]

Hi All

I have a very energetic 5 year old (understatment) From the get go, I knew he was full of beans (or E numbers) and always wanted to run (he loves to run) and explore the world.

School has said he is SEN due to certain social issues they have picked up, namely hurting (think aggressive playing) with his peers.

He is being assessed for autism (I highly doubt, but u never know) and he has other 121 sessions in place where he gets to listen to stories about how to behave soically and to be gentle to our friends (and family)

Now, lately (this week) he has hurt his friend (left a mark) his Teacher has implemented the behaviour policy and he gets to face the consequences unfortunately it hasn't stopped him....

Now, as a mum, I want him to not hurt anyone too! And at home, we always talk about it and if a scuffle takes place - I make sure it's dealt with.

Today, I had a fairly shouty teacher from the leadership team in my face, explaining what he's done and how wrong it is, and I need to drill it in him that it's not acceptable (which I do tirelessly)

Now my argument is, The Class Teacher and I are always letting each other know how my child is progressing each day (he has made significant improvements since he started). Now, the school has a wealth of knowledge, expertise, contacts to specialist departments, materials, resources and much more to help him! I know he struggles (he has a beautiful heart, that much I know) but I wish the school did more, much more.

What, if anything, can u fellow mums think of that I should suggest they implement for him? (Apart from a strait jacket) Seriously, I feel like they have pointed and waggled the finger at me, when they should and could be helping him more.

As his caregivers, we all want the same for him! But as the school is loaded with tools (I'm sure there are kids that are much more challenging than him) I wish they would really push the boat out and offer some alternative ideas for my little man.

Exasperated sigh....

Bump his up before I nod off

I think you would be very disappointed if you knew the lack of resources and contacts to specialist departments the school actually has.
Obviously I have no idea if they are doing everything they might, or if they aren't, or if they are having to prioritise children with much more significant needs to keep everyone safe, or if they are just poor at making adjustments for individuals, but I really think you are being a bit naïve as to the school being "loaded with tools" and having the capacity to really push the boat out and help my little man

What I would do is ask for an appt with the class teacher and the SENCo, and ask them for some advice and strategies that might be worth trying. Ask them if they have seen any pattern to when he hurts people. See if you can all work together to find the trigger, or to find what is making him so anxious he is lashing out. What is his language like ? Can he articulate to you what has happened, from his perspective? Has he had any input around emotions and feelings of other people before the work they are doing with him at school ? Did Nursery do any work along these lines ?

I agree with Kite22, I think you are overestimating the school’s resources. However, they could apply for high needs top up funding if they needed more funding to provide additional support.

If you think DS needs more support and assessments you can apply for an EHCNA yourself, IPSEA have a model letter you can use on their website.

Thanks Kite22 for your input - I'm obviously biased, but I want to know if anything can the school do more....

His speech is fine, he talks. My main concern is whenever things kick off in school he totally shuts me out. He won't tell me anything - and he says 'I don't want to talk about it' he has triggers which the school know about - but is seems they just want him to magically stop without working out they 'why' - if only there was a magic wand.

I feel these outbursts happen at lunchtime - I'll be questioning if there is a pattern and what things are in place during these times...

Nursery was great. We kept a home school diary, but don't think reception have the time or energy for a diary. He has a lot of 121 sessions where they discuss feelings and emotions.

If your child has SEN the school has a legal duty to use their best endeavours to secure the SEN provision your child needs. Information here:

www.ipsea.org.uk/the-best-endeavours-duty

Instead of creating a new thread - I thought I'd pop on here with an update.

Cut to the chase-DS is on the brink of exclusion school has tried many interventions, isolation (which they don't normally do for 5 year olds), lately they tried sticker charts to promote good behaviour but it seems like he's one bad move away from exclusion.

Obviously I'm disappointed-cannot for the life of me think what else the school and I can do for him?

Any words of wisdom? Who can I reach out to?

Did you apply for an EHCNA?

Has DS seen SALT and OT?

@SunsetOnTheHorizon

When you say DS is on the brink of exclusion, do you mean permanently?

Information here:

www.ipsea.org.uk/pages/category/exclusion-from-school

www.ipsea.org.uk/if-you-do-not-have-an-ehc-plan

This document also has a lot of useful information especially pages 9 and 10 :

assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/921405/20170831_Exclusion_Stat_guidance_Web_version.pdf

Paragraph 19 on page 10

Early intervention to address underlying causes of disruptive behaviour should
include an assessment of whether appropriate provision is in place to support any SEN or disability that a pupil may have. The head teacher should also consider the use of a multi-agency assessment for a pupil who demonstrates persistent disruptive behaviour.

So has the school involved an educational psychologist or considered applying for an EHC Needs Assessment?

If the school has not done this you can apply yourself using the model letter here:

www.ipsea.org.uk/asking-for-an-ehc-needs-assessment

imitatingdory No to SALT and I'm not sure what the other abbreviations stand for?

ellie56 I mean school has said if he hurts someone again I will be asked to pick him up and a fixed term exclusion will be in place for him. A day or two. They tried a simple sticker chart for him this week and it worked wonders. Costed them next to nothing and a tiny bit of extra effort and it made a difference. I just think they cannot be bothered to think outside the box for him. "He either complies with what we have in place for him or you're excluded" That's the message I'm seeing displayed from school.

An EHCNA is an education, health and care needs assessment. The assessment before an EHCP is issued or not. When you originally posted I recommended you apply for an EHCNA is you thought DS needed more support and assessments.

OT is occupational therapy.

He sounds abit like my son at that age. I found that the school always used to make me feel guilty and want me to have a word with him, when the reality is with this type of child it’s how you deal with them at the time the incident is happening if you are not there you can’t do anything and no amount of talking is going to make any difference. My son went on to be diagnosed with asd age 6. Sticker charts etc would have a short term effect but they didn’t work long term as Ds would end up getting more anxious about the not getting a sticker, or the fairness/unfairness of him not getting a sticker that it would end up causing meltdowns. His school wasn’t particularly good for Sen and anything I suggested it was “ we can’t do that ” yet they magically expected me to sort things without actually being there. My son started getting fixed term Exclusions and looking back it’s the school just wanting to get rid. We applied for and eventually got an ehcp in year 3 but even then the things weren’t always in place and it was clear at the annual review the following year it was the first time the Senco had read the ehcp. I managed to move him to specialist in year 4 after a battle and it’s the best thing we ever did. My best advice to you now would be to collect evidence. Keep a daily diary of things that have happened at school/home and things school have told you, things you are told verbally at school confirm back to them in writing by sending an email to confirm your understanding, if asked to pick him up don’t do it unless it’s a formal fixed term exclusion with the correct paperwork

Start applying for a educational health care needs assessment. It will take time and probably be rejected requiring you to appeal. But exclusions etc will help and things can get a lot more difficult if continues on trajectory - e.g. reduced timetables. It might give the school pause for thought too.