No action V's EP Assessment V's DX Route - WWYD?

[SafeMove]

A bit of background: DS2 is 14 years, Year 9, no DX. School have observed what we already know - ongoing issues with auditory processing, following verbal instructions and attending to written and group tasks, problems concentrating with ambient background noise and lack of focus and organisation skills. DS has a good level of cognition. Some processing or working memory need is my guess. He can attend and focus on kineasthetic tasks with no issue, can give verbal answers well etc. School offered the observations but no interventions. Just that DS needs to 'work on his attention and focus and handwriting'. If DS could learn attention, he would. It creeps into everyday life as he is so forgetful. No behaviour concerns, they describe him as a nice, sociable lad. Additional concerns said he often presents without equipment and is very tired. He has equipment but loses it and he has problems with sleep onset that he was prescribed melatonin for, but ExH insisted that he stop it.

I have not wanted to seek a DX for him - partly because I don't think he would meet threshold for a DX and partly because I really want to avoid LA SEND processes, CAMHS, and CIN LDD interventions. I have working experience of all three. I am going to do a learning style questionnaire again and a sensory profile with him. I am just wondering if people think I am being too avoidant and if I should be at least looking for an EP assessment? I don't want to do him a disservice because I have such little faith in the process. WWYD? Thanks for any replies.

School offered the observations but no interventions. Just that DS needs to 'work on his attention and focus and handwriting'. If DS could learn attention, he would.

I think ^^ this is why you need to do something. Demands in GCSE years, then sixth form and adult life are only going to increase. An EP assessment or diagnosis would stop others judging DS negatively and potentially punishing him for something he cannot help.

I think you should seek an EP assessment at the very least. If you don’t do it for any other reason you should consider access arrangements for exams, DS may benefit from extra time, a scribe, speech to text software or word processor. The school don’t sound helpful so an EP assessment or diagnosis may be the only way to force the matter.

Why doesn’t ex-H want DS taking melatonin? What does DS think about melatonin? He is old enough to decide whether he wants to take it.

Thanks so much for replying @Imitatingdory

ExH is a controlling arsehole basically. You are right, if only for the exam adjustments. Feeling very mixed up.