Not sure what to do re schools?

[SchoolDecisionNowOrNever]

Posting here as it seems the most appropriate area.

DD is in Year 2 in a first school, so she has 2.5 years left before middle school.

She has some SN and I’m really not sure what to do for the best for schools. She finds transititions hard and took until February half term of Year 1 to settle at school, how much of it was affected by the covid restrictions is unknown.

She’s a happy, chatty and very sociable little girl so I don’t have any qualms about moving her and friendships etc. She also does out of school activities and has friends there.

She has working diagnoses of moderate dyslexia and DCD (I think this means she’s not officially diagnosed but she meets all the criteria). She is also diagnosed with mild GDD and a muscle condition.

I feel now is the turning point in terms of schooling and I have to make a decision now. School think that any of the local middle schools would suit her until end of Year 6, but aren’t sure beyond then. They also think any one of my plans is in her best interests. I personally do not feel the high school they move to for Year 9 will suit her but obviously she’s only 6, and things can change so much in 5/6 years.

So my options I feel:

1. Keep her where she is, move to any of the middle schools at end of Year 4, reassess situation at end of Year 5 re moving to a high school for Year 7 onwards (The area I’m in only a few towns still have the 3 tier system and every year some children leave the middle schools in Year 6 to do high school in another town)
2. Keep her where she is, move to any of the middle schools at end of Year 4, reassess situation at end of Year 7 re moving to another high school for Year 9
3. Move her now so she has 4 years at Primary before Year 7
4. Move her at end of Year 4 to a Primary for 2 years then move her again for high school transition

I’m a single parent and ExH doesn’t have a strong preference. I think 4 would be too much for her. But I’m not sure which if any of the other options would suit.

This is not about friends, as I said she’ll make friends anywhere, this is about what I feel is best for her. I actually have a high school in mind that I think will suit her perfectly so it’s whether I aim to move her for Year 7 or Year 9 and where she goes between now and then.

Any ideas from people with similar DC what worked for you and yours?

If DD is happy, settled and making progress I wouldn’t entertain 3 at this moment in time.

For Y5 I would choose the school (middle or primary) you best think can meet DD’s needs. Then decide whether you think the school DD is in for Y5&6 better meets DD’s needs than the high school you have in mind. You say you don’t think DD would cope with 4 but it’s not much different to 1 in that she’s stays where she is until the end of Y4, moves to another school for Y5&6 and potentially moves again for Y7.

Does DD have an EHCP? If not there may not be as much choice as you think.

@Imitatingdory

If DD is happy, settled and making progress I wouldn’t entertain 3 at this moment in time.

For Y5 I would choose the school (middle or primary) you best think can meet DD’s needs. Then decide whether you think the school DD is in for Y5&6 better meets DD’s needs than the high school you have in mind. You say you don’t think DD would cope with 4 but it’s not much different to 1 in that she’s stays where she is until the end of Y4, moves to another school for Y5&6 and potentially moves again for Y7.

Does DD have an EHCP? If not there may not be as much choice as you think.

@Imitatingdory Thank you, she's very happy and settled at school. Progress is slow but I'm not actually too worried about that as she can go back and do her GCSEs/ALevels/Other Qualifications at any age - I'm doing some extra ALevels now in my 30s after getting a couple more GCSEs (I left school with 8 GCSEs).

She has an EHCP currently in draft form, so 3 is probably not an option.

I think you're right about choosing a middle or primary now, for Year 5. There's 5 or 6 options (3 middle schools, and 2 or 3 primaries) so I will go and look round them all, then once she's in Year 5 look round the high school and reassess then. I can also look round the nearest high school (only by about a mile, the one I have in mind is only 8 miles away, nearest is about 6/7 miles) and decide then if I think it'll suit her.

Thank you so much for helping me get my head straight. I like to have a plan even if that plan changes, it's easier for me to plan for X then Y to happen and it go wrong than not plan at all and have to come with a plan later.

What about social and emotional progress? That is just as, if not more, important than academic progress, as you say education and qualifications can always come later, especially with an EHCP.

Rather than focusing on school choice for the future I would focus on ensuring the EHCP is detailed, specified and quantified with all the necessary provision and therapies in F because at the moment that is the more pressing concern. SOSSEN have a draft checking service if that is something that you would be interested in.

Although I wouldn’t do it 3 could happen even though the EHCP is in draft form. When you receive the draft you should get the opportunity to name your preferred placement and that could be a different school to the current one.

@Imitatingdory

What about social and emotional progress? That is just as, if not more, important than academic progress, as you say education and qualifications can always come later, especially with an EHCP.

Rather than focusing on school choice for the future I would focus on ensuring the EHCP is detailed, specified and quantified with all the necessary provision and therapies in F because at the moment that is the more pressing concern. SOSSEN have a draft checking service if that is something that you would be interested in.

@Imitatingdory

What about social and emotional progress?

It's harder to say but she gets plenty of party invites, I get random messages from other parents asking me DDs middle name because their DC absolutely must know. No playdates outside of family but it's an area where most parents work and have 2-3 DC so playdates seem to be less common anyway.

Outside of school she does activities and seems to be fine there. She chats away to anyone. We go to the park at weekends and she'll try and find a DC to play with.

School say she prefers 1-1 playing rather than big groups but they think this is more connected to her abilities to process information, she finds it very difficult to follow conversation with multiple people in. She does better at school in small group settings or 1-1 rather than in a larger class. Her class is about the right size for her in terms of being able to know whats happening.

I'd say shes probably delayed socially but more because of the dyslexia/dcd. Emotionally she's probably around end of Reception level but some of that could be down to covid.

She does have the odd meltdown, generally over school work though rather than friendship issues.