Is it normal to not care about a diagnosis?

[JunoLunar]

Im not sure if this is part of the acceptance part of it all.
School want to refer but still trying to decide whether to refer for autism or adhd as dd has elements of both. I accept she is different to neurotypical kids in some ways. However pinning all our hopes on a diagnosis which looks years (?) away seems pointless. I want the school to help us now.
I haven't said to the school that I wanted her assessed although happy to go down that route for her to get support. She's behind academically and there are so many reasonable adjustments which could be made to help her concentrate such as more 1:1 and even going to the class below for maths.
I don't doubt that the sensory stuff isn't linked to school but the concentration aspect isn't helped by her not getting what's being taught and therefore losing interest.
I feel like so much time is being spent on thinking about this referral we've lost sight of the real issue which is a child that hates school and isn't progressing!

It doesn’t have to be either or. A referral for assessment can be made whilst providing SEN support. Support in school should be based on needs, rather than diagnosis anyway. If you feel DD needs more support than the school are providing you can apply for an EHCNA yourself. Many areas don’t commission sensory OT on the NHS anymore but if yours do you may be able to self refer whilst waiting for an assessment for a diagnosis too (or if you get an EHCNA a sensory OT assessment can be part of that).

You don’t say how old DD is, but if she is between 4&11 have a look at Caldwell Children’s assessments.