ADHD child constant problems at secondary school

[Adhdparent123]

My DS was diagnosed with ADHD over the summer holidays and started in Year 7 in September. Since he started he has been in constant trouble due to mostly low level disruptive behaviours, not getting to classes on time, rudeness to staff etc. Occasionally he gets in more serious trouble as he escalates situations when he has been told off and refuses to do as he is told. He has just been excluded for a second time since starting in September and I just don't know what to do to help him. He says he does want to behave but almost seems to engineer himself into these situations.

He moved from a small primary school where there were minor issues but nothing like this to a 1000+ secondary. His friendship group all have similar issues to him and they seem to encourage each other to misbehave. And of course he is desperate to fit in, having never fitted in well with his small primary cohort so I think trying to impress his friends is part of the problem. I have encouraged him to take up EC activities after-school to try and widen his friendships but of course after-school detention s make this almost impossible.
He is very intelligent but really struggles with focus and behaviour.

The school make all the right noises about his diagnosis and when I speak to staff they tell me the behaviours are typical adhd behaviours but there is no flexibility in their approach, just detentions and isolations whenever he does not follow the rules. He has been on daily report which he has to get filled in each lesson for weeks, which he inevitably forgets/refuses then gets further punished.

I feel these and the isolation (often the next day after he has calmed down and wants to work) are completely counterproductive and are making him feel totally disengaged. I have asked for some further support for him to actually deal with the issues, offered to come in and meet with the senco head of year but get no response.

I am so concerned that he is missing so much of his education by being sent out of class, sent to isolation and excluded. But can also see they cannot have him stop the rest of the class learning.

He is on medication which is helping somewhat, he had a truly awful week when he was changing medications so had nothing, but now seems to have found a combination that helps a little but he still has issues.

Does anyone please have any advice on where to go from here? He does not have an ECHP but I dont even know what would go into one as his main issues are disruptiveness. I just do not know how best to help him. Can anyone further down this path advise what has helped?

You should apply for an EHCNA.

If the SENCO and HOY are ignoring you email the HT.

Thank you, I have spoken to the head of pastoral support today and asked that she arrange a meeting with the HoY and SENCO. Then I will push for and assessment. Thank you very much

I think you should be considering a different school, if there are any other reasonable options. Schools vary hugely in their attitude and competence with SEN.

It is a lot easier to move a year 7/8 than a year 9 (some schools start GCSE then).

Unfortunately we live rurally and the only other option is rated 'requires improvement' with the Ofsted report detailing that they have attainment and behavioural issues that are particularly impacting boys at the school. Of the two schools the one he is at the far better option.

How recent is that Ofsted report though? It could be years out of date considering they didn't inspect at all during the pandemic. I'd go and have a look with an open mind.

ADHDparent 123 - please can I ask how things are for you now? Almost word perfectly, I could have written your post. DS is in Y7 & in exactly the same position as your DS other than he is due to start meds next week. I'd be really
Interested to hear how things have panned out for you. I very much hope things are better xx

Sorry to hear you are going through something similar, I hope your son is ok. Things have been very up and down over the last few years I am afraid, with lots of suspensions. Unfortunately for my DS medications led to lots of side effects and after a year of trying many different types he refused to take any. This has meant the issues have continued. We recently got my son's EHCP,. He was then permanently excluded before they implemented it because of persistent behaviour issues, which was then cancelled after a week. Since then the school have implemented everything in his EHCP and thing seems to be improving slowly so there is some hope.

I would advise you apply EHCP as soon as possible, it gives you much more protection if issues arise despite the medication. Apply yourself rather than wait for the school as I have been advised that in my area at least parent-initiated applications are being prioritised, but be aware many councils are not meeting timescales so if it breaches the timescales immediately start the formal complaints process.

Secondly, if the behaviour issues continue try and keep your communications with the school in writing, if they call follow up with and email to clarify so you have a paper trail of issues. And make the school aware of the impact the issues are having on your child. If you feel the school have behaved in a discriminatory or unfair way don't be afraid to put in a formal complaint.

Finally, the advice I have had on here from people more knowledgeable about the system than me has been invaluable so do ask for advice and support if you need to.

Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry you & your ds have had such a tough time. It's so bloody miserable for them, it's so clear my ds wants to fit in & behave but the impulsivity just takes over.

I really hope things continue to improve for your ds - lots of people have told me that it gets a bit easier for them once through formal education & out into an environment that suits them better.

I'll look at the ehcp today. Thanks so much for replying.

I work in secondary (intervention lead) and we have a separate detention room for those with SEN or who need extra support.
I do have quite a few ADHD- diagnosed children who come to me.
Some of them can still cause a lot of LLD but lots of them enjoy coming into a more relaxed environment and a much smaller classroom. I do my best to engage them and not send them to detention. I chat with them, put on some calm music and am able to build up relationships with them that teachers often don't have the time for in a class of 30+.
We also have TAs who support kids in class to keep them on track.
Do you know if he has support like this?
Any interventions?

I’m in the same boat with my ADHD child. Sadly, I could have written this post too. I’ll start being more proactive and try to get an EHCP. It’s incredible that schools have turned into boot camps and are effectively excluding about ~10% of their school population with unattainable expectations that cannot be met by SEND kids. Ofsted should put more emphasis on SEND provision as part of schools’ overall rating, maybe then they would care a bit more.