Is this autism? Or something else

[Trustynickname]

Hey all

Just need a bit of advice please? Or information!

So there have been some issues with my sons development / behaviours for some while now. Since he was about 2 years old. Each setting he has been too thinks that he has some special needs (first nursery thought he may be autistic, but that was 2 years ago), i have never known if his behaviours where those of just any normal child, as up until 3 months ago he was an only child and I have no others to compare him with.

So, more recently his behaviours have became more noticeable
I’m just going to bullet point his behaviours as follows:

• He believes certain toys belong to him and him only at pre school, even when he walks away from them he can’t cope when another child plays with them and has a melt down, and vice versa, he won’t play with some items because he believes they are another child’s.
• When he gets distressed he takes his clothes off, and has started pulling his trousers down when he’s angry and sometimes he will just take off his shoes.
• When there’s a big crowd or loud noises he will become upset and seek out a familiar adult or just scream and have a melt down.
• He puts his fingers in his ears or pushes his ears with his palms at loud noises e.g music, lawn mower, hair dryer.
• He struggles with eating habits and is very particular about what he will and won’t eat.
• He struggles with change of routine and at pre school they use timers etc to change task as he becomes distraught otherwise.
• He has speech issues, although I can understand him perfectly fine, others struggle.
• He wakes up several times a night and doesn’t need much sleep.
• He gets distressed extremely easily, and the most simple thing becomes very upsetting for him.
• He becomes very obsessed with things like games on iPads etc so I have had to limit any use.
• He struggles with not knowing what will be happening next.

I’m just baffled really, I have no experience with child SEN and I’m wondering if any other parents out there have any advice for me, does this sound like autism or something else?
At this time I’m not sure what it is that is causing these behaviours, but I will be there for him no matter what to support him through as he’s clearly struggling in some aspects, I just don’t know if these behaviours are usual for a child this age or if he does next extra support, if so, what would be my next step?

He has been referred to pre school forum about his behaviours - I have received an email to state that the meeting will take place (the date was last week), anyone know what will happen next? Or if I’ll hear back? He also has been referred to speech and language.

Sorry about the huge post! Just a confused momma looking for some support x

Tia xx

Google M-chat test for toddlers. (You don't say how old your Ds is.) It's useful anyway to give parents/carers an idea of what signs to look out for if there are autism concerns.

I'm not sure what a pre school forum is (the terms may have changed since my Ds was at nursery). Have you been invited to attend? Do you know who will be there?
It's great that he's been referred to speech and language though. The SALT my Ds saw at nursery was lovely. She gave me some great tips and she was also helpful in getting my Ds on various waiting lists and feeding into his primary school before he started.

In terms of the issues you've flagged, it can be difficult to diagnose autism, especially in very young children. For my Ds his difficulties became very pronounced once he started primary school. There's no harm in trying to get him onto the wait list for an assessment now though. I believe the wait time is 2-3 years in my area now due to Covid, just to warn you. You can always remove him from the list later.

In terms of next steps, it may be that his preschool will support an application for an ASD assessment. I guess you'll know more after the meeting?
The other option is that you can speak to his GP outlining your concerns.

My Ds is 12 now. I remember the early years before his diagnosis being very hard. You sound like a great parent and are doing everything you can to help your Ds.

how old is your DS ?
It may be autism , it may be that hes just going through a really sensitive phase . Get in touch with your Gp or health visitor (if you still have one) and outline your concerns and also ask for a referral to SALT (speech and language support) be prepared to push for help if need be

You don't say how old your child is but from the age of about 3, our son exhibited similar traits, especially being unable to cope with change (which resulted in melt downs). He would only eat limited foods, had huge sensory issues especially around clothes and labels, obsessions about certain toys and the colour yellow, speech and language issues and social difficulties.

We were convinced he was autistic then. It took us 5 years of raising concerns and he was finally diagnosed with autism when he was nearly 8.

Hello a few thoughts here, sorry to be brief but just a bit of a brain dump.

You sound like me 18 months ago. It will get easier.

With autism / asd literally everyone has an opinion. Ignore them. Mumsnetters can't diagnose your kid, only a psychiatrist can diagnose a young child (when they are older clinical psychologists can, but for small kids it has to be a doctor).

The diagnosis is done by three professionals looking at the child and then they take in feedback from the school, the parents etc. The professionals will include a psychiatrist but can also include people like a psychologist, or speech and language therapist, or play therapist, or occupational therapist. All professionals need to agree that the autism diagnosis is the right one.

What you described could be autism or it could be a bunch of other stuff or it could be nothing at all and just his personality and he could grow out of it.

To get a referral for an assessment go to the GP and they will put you on the waiting list for a child psychiatrist. We had to wait a year for that part.

In our experience once the diagnosis came through, suddenly we could access a huge amount of help which has been great.

Worth mentioning my kid also doesn't present as typically autistic, he is really lively and funny but struggles with meltdowns etc. Meant a lot of people had a lot of opinions about it being a discipline problem with him, where if he was more 'traditionally' autistic like slow to meet his milestones it would have been picked up sooner.

Oh and if this is your journey, you will hear a lot about 'severe' and 'mild' autism. That's not a thing any more. Google 'autism circle' which talks more to strengths and difficulties autistic people experience. It's a more helpful way of thinking about it and why it's so confusing to tell what is and isn't autism because you can have basically opposite people who both have the same autism label.

I hope this is helpful. It's just a dump of what I wish someone had told me 2 years ago.