desperately need some help - Dyslexic son - school not helping

[mermaidsvssuperhero]

we recently had the confirmation my 9 yr old son is dyslexic.
I had initial meeting with school senco & class teacher. They said lots of positive and thoughtful things... however my son says nothing has changed. I have tried to call and have emailed school, however to date, have not had any explaination as to what they ahve managed to put in place to help him, apart from a white board and focus group (which he was in already - due to them acknologing he needed quieter space to be able to work more productively)...
the senco also actually emailed that his issue were to do with his lack of attention and that his talking led to his low productivity!
all his school reports have never mentioned this..
i;m angry,
I'm confused
I'm so lost.
I don't want to fight with his school.
I would like to go back in January with a strategy that works for everyone....
ANY ADVICE from anyone? PLEASE?

Schools must make their best endeavours to meet pupils’ SEN.

A laptop and assistive technology may help. If DS finds noise distracting has he tried ear defenders or noise cancelling headphones? Has the school thought about his placement in the classroom? Have they implemented movement breaks?

If you feel DS’s needs aren’t being met you can apply for an EHCNA. IPSEA have a model letter you can use.

Imitatingdory
Thank you for your reply.
The only thing they have said he has is a white board to use to check spelling before he writes in his books.
He goes out of the class for small focus group but despite asking they've not said what this actually is.
His assessment says about assistive technology however the senco said she was reluctant to let him have it.even tho his teacher seemed to think it would help.(I never got an answer as to why she thought this).
My meeting with them was mid oct... Despite emails asking for a clear outline of their plans for helping him, and a couple of messages I feel I'm banging my head against a brick wall😓, . In last email she even mention that he talks too much and it's just this issue that's causing his lack of productivity😡,
I'm going to ask for a meeting with head in Jan.
Does anyone have any list of questions I should note please?
I'm on my own with my son with no family close by. So do actually feel rather lost with it.

They sound a bit rubbish but from a teacher's point of view, Nov and Dec were very difficult this year so maybe they fell down a bit.

There's a good book, Smart But Scattered, that has some strategies in. I think ask what they're currently doing to help him and write it all down. Then you can confirm it all by email and follow up in a few weeks. Ask what you can do to help at home.

Who ordered the assessment? Who did the assessment? What are the presenting difficulties? If you say more about how you got to this stage, maybe posters can give more advice.

I wondered if my DD had dyslexia when she was in Reception, as she was so reluctant to read and write, but it later turned out to be ADHD (although I suspect she may have some visual processing issues too).

Thank you for your lovely reply @Phineyj
School have said they've given him.a white board and some time in small focus group.
Presenting difficulties are inability to spell - dreadful handwriting. low reading ability v high comprehension. Difficulties with phonics.Very fidgety. Can't remember more than one instructions at a time. Very disorganised. Saying he was stupid. Feeling of frustration.
Some close family members are also dyslexic.
I asked for assessment. Local authority then did it through school as I don't have finances to go private.
Senco said she didn't think the assessment would come back saying he was.... Now it has she seems so angry with us.and won't give me any answers to basic questions.
He's been out in a reading comprehension group and I asked for the reason / assessment for this but no reply.
Teacher replied briefly to say she has talked through some of his work so he can verbalize it before writing it but I have no idea when/ how often or how this at happens.
My son was so relieved to find out about the dyslexia as he says - Mummy I'm not stupid! But he now really hates school as he knows he can't access things and he thought things were going to change for the better.
How can I get the school to put it to place the recommendations on the assessment?
As the things the senco is saying have been done are things that were already in place .ie access to white boards and the teacher using coloured post it notes on kids work so they can find her marking easily!
I feel like I sound so weak and pathetic and completely whiney - believe me, I have sent emails asking basic questions . They never get clearly answered.and senco replies off topic saying things like it's because he talks too much it's having such a negative effect on his productivity and that she's seen this herself in class& that he needed constant stern reminders.when I asked why I'd not been told about this highly negative behaviour and it's effect, there was no reply!😓.
My son says she shouts a lot!
I actually work in a primary school too, so am very aware of the stresses, strains and constraints on all staff.
I'm just sad and frustrated with the situation.
I would love to work along side the school to apply for EHCP. perhaps this is what I shall suggest?

How can I get the school to put it to place the recommendations on the assessment?

The only way of forcing the school to provide provision is via an EHCP. If the EP assessment was an LA EP it demonstrates a significant level of need - demand is high, and the threshold for an EHCNA is relatively low. You don’t need the school to agree with applying for an EHCNA, you can do it yourself.

It sounds very difficult. Given the further detail you've given, I think you may need a change of school as staff attitude sounds bad. Could you consider e.g. Kumon English on a.weekend so he's getting at least some positive experiences with literacy?

Basically you could attempt to use the various processes and lobby groups, charities to get an ECHP and enforce it but it is very difficult to force a school to do better on this and it would mean a lot of conflict which you need to be mentally prepared for.

I think you should look further ahead and start to focus on secondary transition (for which an ECHP could be useful).

Thank you both for the time to read and reply to me.
I haven't got the ooomph or desire to fight with his current school😓.
I think getting An EHCP for secondary is the best way forward.
Use my energy that way.
I have the rest of this year and yr6, so will do that.
Hope you have a lovely Christmas time.
Thanks again

If you can start the EHCNA request soon that would give you more time. You preferably want the EHCP finalised before secondary places are allocated, because if DS is placed after everyone else’s places are allocated it becomes easier for the LA to prove incompatibility. Full is not defined in law, and on its own is not enough of a reason to refuse admission, but there becomes a point the LA can prove they are so full it is incompatible, and this is more likely if other places have already been allocated. Sadly, many parents have to appeal at least once, some three times, which takes time.

@Imitatingdory .
Thank you🙂
What do you mean "LA can prove they are so full it is incompatible, and this is more likely if other places have already been allocated"

Although ‘full’ isn’t legally defined and on its own is not an acceptable reason to refuse admission there is a point where the LA can prove they are so full admitting another pupil is incompatible with the efficient education of others or use of resources, which is a lawful reason to refuse admission.

If places have already been allocated when DS is being considered for a place the bar for incompatibility is more likely to be reached compared to if DS is considered at the same time as everyone else.

I'm on the website recommend here that has the ECH PLan template
Just gathering my info in to one place so I know where to find it. Gonna make sure it's done before start of school in jan!
Thanks also for letting me know it probably Will be refused possibly a few times.
I'm ready 😁

It's very common for children with dyslexia to be distracted in class as the environment is such a difficult one for them. My ds has dyslexia and l also teach. He sounds like a classic case and l am surprised the SN teacher hadn't spotted that.
Maybe try and do a few things to help him yourself as it sounds like school are letting him down a bit. One of the most important things l believe about dyslexia is children need to be taught each step and it needs to be reinforced again and again until it goes into their long term memory. With other children they often seem to pick up things themselves but with dyslexia they need systematic teaching.
For starters could you print out a list of all Dolch words. You will find them online. Start at list 1 and check how many he can recognise. And using cards teach him the others every day until he can fly through that list. Then move on. These words need to be taught and they make up a huge portion of reading matter so will help improve his reading.
Order a book online called Toe by Toe or perhaps the school might buy it for him. We always do if we believe there may be an issue affording it. Do 5 mins of this every day..instructions are there. And l mean 5 min no more.
For spelling never take it for granted that he gets endings like ing/ ed ...he needs to be constantly taught this until it goes into his long term memory and stays there forever. If you can get him to work with you in short bursts he will make progress as he has good intelligence . Remember he will be tired after school so give him time to chill.
As he makes some progress his confidence will grow. Keep telling him its not his fault and you understand how difficult it is. Being in an encouraging environment is everything as their brain freezes under pressure. I have worked with adults who never learnt to read and it's amazing the progress they make once that pressure and insecurity is off.
An understanding teacher, especially an understanding SNT who is on your side is worth it's weight in gold.
By the way my ds has a degree and gets paid now the same as me!! They have huge abilities in other areas, often creatively so don't lose heart.

Also let him listen to books on Audible so he doesn't miss out on books the others may be reading eg David Walliams. These also improve his vocabulary and bring fun to stories where he might be associating words and books with torture.

Read them together too.

@junebirthdaygirl
Thank you for your lovely message.
He listens to Audible all the time and loves it.. David walliams, Harry potter, swallows and amazons, stig of the dump, emil and the detectives , lots of roald dahl , Andy Stanton, recently hes got in to neil gaiman. and but all other suggestions are most welcome?

I a?so found some football related Barrington stokes books which he actually enjoyed reading. We plan a trip to our local library to find more🙂

Id been recommend a literacy program " slip" by a speech and language therapist who works in the same school as I, but like you say, doing schools work with him after school is exhsusting. We hsve done it but its a dkifficult balance asking him to do this after a long day (hes at school 8-3.30 then asc until 5).

Re school. It was actualky his (lovely/fabulous) y3 teacher who first said anything about ds being dyslexic, as her daughter hsd just been assrssed and she said my ds was just like her daughter! (Howeber due to covid he only actually had her for a really short time😓).
This said teacher is now in y6 and supposed to stay
there for two yrs which means my ds should get her next year..... I am keeping everything crossed that this actually happens as i think itll be a game chsnger in terms of decent support. Shes brilliant, lovely and ds really likes her and she understands ds and dyslexia!

Until then, over this holidays ive organised speak to text on our computer and ds has had great fun showing me how it works😀.

Thanks again for all the support... And advice... Its invaluable and helps me to feel less alone 🙂

@junebirthdaygirl
Also - on his assessment it says he's learning ability level is 135
Whilst his auditory memory is 79,
his phonological awareness average is 80
And his word reading at 72😓.
I want to cry

Well his natural ability is extremely high so as other things kick in that will be there waiting. It's a slow process with dyslexia but in the area my ds works practically everyone is dyslexic so there are niche areas where their strengths come into play

thank you everyone - thank you.
You've spurred me on and today I have completed 1st draft of the EHCP request form.
IAt the moment I am happy with it, however will look with fresh eyes tomorrow and hope to send it off soon.

Thanks for the clarification🙂