How did you get an ADHD assessment?

[cleocleo81]

Ds is seeing a therapist who has said she feels Ds may have ADHD. The more I have read about it the more I agree. His behaviour is very challenging at home. Perfect at school, and it brings DH and i to the brink. It puts a lot of stress on our marriage. The therapist says DS knows his behaviour is challenging and seems to like it!

Anyway, I am trying to get a private assessment for him but have got on answer from all enquiries so far. I am willing to pay for someone good as I have seen first hand how you can fork out a lot of money for a report which is actually rubbish. I want someone who is good and who can offer practical support for us and Ds afterwards rather than just getting an yes/no and then thinking what next? I find some of Ds behaviour unbearable and we need support with how to deal with it better, how he can manage it better.

He goes to a private school, they do have a SEN person but I don't know if it gets referred in the same way.

How did you go about getting an assessment?

Not sure in private school. In local authority it is done through school usually after the age of 7. School will usually observe child for at least a term then make a referral if they feel it's warranted to paediatrician who will assess wether a adhd assessment is required. Autism and other neurological disorders may be considered and blood work is usually done to rule out genetic conditions. The process can take a couple of years! But a good school will put support in place in mean time if needed. It's really hard if child has no issues at school as schools are often reluctant to create extra work for themselves. I don't have any information re private assessment, it would certainly be quicker though. It's really normal for children to manage themselves all day at school and then let it out at home. It means home is your sons safe place to let frustrations out. (Although it may not be easy on you) if you can afford to go private maybe speak to gp for advice? Keep doing lots of reading and modify parenting techniques to work with your child. Perhaps it would help to speck to schools senco too for advice. If you get a diagnosis some children respond well with medication again this is something to speak to doctor about.

If you go private are you able to continue paying for medication if necessary? Not all GPs will take on prescribing medication following a private diagnosis.

It is usually CAMHS that undertake NHS assessments, your GP can refer.

What kind of support are you wanting? Other than medication support is based on needs rather than a diagnosis.

I have 2 DC with adhd, DC1 was assessed by CAMHS as they were under their care for another condition

DC2 fell through the cracks, refused assessments multiple times. In the end we went private it took 6 weeks from start to finish and cost £1400 including first 2 prescriptions

My advice to you is get the diagnosis privately and start meds then ask your gp to be moved into the nhs system

In our area a joint meeting is held monthly by all paediatric bodies, cases are allocated to the most appropriate service. DC2 was allocated to the paediatric adhd team and seen within a month BECAUSE he was already on meds

At this point talk to school about an educational psychologist, they will probably have a preferred one. Arrange a separate full assessment of your DC’s needs, they will then be able to advise the school directly

Just be aware that if your DC’s assessed needs are high the school may try to manage you out, not all schools do but I have heard that some of the more selective and over subscribed ones can take this approach

I just asked everyone I knew with experience - friends, friends of friends etc and eventually got a recommendation of a private assessment centre. If you're in the SE I'll send a link. I referred DD there, filled in a load of forms plus there were some for school to fill in. She was assessed for ADHD and ASD and has both. We were prescribed melatonin, which the GP took on.

We are similar to you - major issues at home, few at school. However the school (which is private) has been great since we got a diagnosis. Before that they didn't appear to be worried as she behaved well, was at expectations etc (although we had incredible battles over homework). Our marriage got very close to breaking up. We went to Relate and they said 'do you realise all you talk about is your daughter'?

I find the system utterly rubbish tbh but if you can pay, then do or you'll be waiting years. We did NVR, which was helpful and DD did some play therapy which also seemed to help.

DD was 7.5 when she was assessed. The key time is primary to secondary transition as that's when the wheels often fall off for DC with these issues.

Good luck.

Thanks all. Ds is very reluctant to get the Senco at school involved and so far we haven't at his request. He is very good at school so if he was observed I think don't think we would be eligible.

Any links to places you had a private assessment done would be great. I have had no reply by email or phone when I have tried to contact recommendations in the local area so now feel at a dead end but Ds behaviour has got worse.

@Imitatingdory

If you go private are you able to continue paying for medication if necessary? Not all GPs will take on prescribing medication following a private diagnosis.

It is usually CAMHS that undertake NHS assessments, your GP can refer.

What kind of support are you wanting? Other than medication support is based on needs rather than a diagnosis.

We would like more support in how to handle his behaviour and help him emotionally. If course we re not sure he has adhd yet but he seems to also have anxiety and is very negative and seems an unhappy little boy frequently. Last night he told dh that he hates his life, has all these negative thoughts which spiral and at times can't think of anything good in his life. It breaks my heart, he's 9. I want support to help him be happy.

DS is not old enough to make an informed decision about speaking to the SENCO. If you want a diagnosis the psychiatrist will most likely want their input, so best to speak to them first. Some of the support you want can be provided through school - emotional literacy support, nurture programmes, mindfulness. Many have Lego therapy or Draw&Talk. If it is something you would be interested if you have one your local children’s centre may run parenting courses for behaviour strategies. Other than that it’s sounds like some kind of therapy or counselling would be beneficial, which you don’t need to wait for a diagnosis for.

Thanks. He currently sees a therapist. Which I think is helping but not as much as I would like it to. It's a long game though.

At the moment we are going to respect his decision about school. The head and his teacher are aware of it. He became anxious when we said we were telling them and asked if it was only them. He doesn't want anyone else to know about his therapy outside of school and we have told none except family.

Our relationship is quite fragile at times and I think he would see this as a huge betrayal of trust. He would not want to be pulled out for any extra support for this at school. He wants it separate and I think that is a good thing as at school he is happy, confident and loves it there. He isn't a unhappy, emotional and anxious boy like he can be at home. He thrives there- it's his happy place. We don't want to potentially destroy that by introducing this other side to him at school. If that makes sense.

I am aware that his teacher will need to complete a questionnaire when we get an assessment. That will be confidential.

We used a place called Starjumpz for diagnosis, which serves Kent and nearby areas (we're in a London borough).

DD has also disliked the feeling of being different since diagnosis and resisted sessions with the SENCO to begin with, but the SENCO persisted and now they get on quite well.

An experienced SENCO will be able to see ways to help.

We had a good experience with Jack at New Leaf NVR. He works on Zoom. It was definitely the most helpful of the various therapies we've tried. I feel like it's the parents that need the help too in these situations.

Ime A diagnosis of adhd doesn't change much in the way of support provided but it changes mindsets.

If SENco is aware of what you are thinking abs DS is resistant to further discussions then you are on a hiding to nothing tho......

Our son was referred by his senco to CAMHS in Y3. After a private tutor had queried some of his behaviour with us and suggested school should have discussed the possibility an assessment should be considered and why.

Once senco was involved school changed how they interacted with our son. How they dealt with challenging behaviour was amazing, despite st this point not having a diagnosis.

Home school was a Blardy nightmare.

Senco discussions took place in the sept / oct / Nov and Then referral was submitted.

CAMHS did the assessment virtually in the following June. Written confirmation came thru in the September. So less than a year but longer than our borough' target ot 18weeks.

My observations of the process:

• adhd assessment is questionnaire based
• requires behaviour to be seen in 2 settings - usually at home and in school. If he is not showing the same behaviour at school you may need help to unpick why - eg is he masking at school and falling apart at home? Or is one setting more / less stressful than the other? What are school already doing to manage his challenges/ behaviour / needs?
• if answers strongly suggest adhd then the psych job is to rule out trauma as a cause of the challenging behaviour
• a diagnosis is not the holy grail. It did not unlock loads of help as our child is not considered "bad enough" to need meds right now.
• however the use of lists, quiet reminders of what he should be doing, use of positive praise, fidget toys, sensory breaks and hard exercise = all brilliant. And need school on board to make it work - they wouldn't ask a child with a broken leg to run and then climb a free so getting a diagnosis can be helpful to deal with those Situatione.

• BUT alongside all of this I highly recommend OT.

Best time we spent with the nhs was a 2h OT assessment. Far more helpful than the CAMHS assessment. Very practical.

Best of luck!

I agree that the diagnosis doesn't change much practically, but for us it was incredibly helpful because we couldn't understand how we could be trying so hard as parents yet everything was so difficult.