Can’t cope with dd

[TurnUpTurnip]

Posted this in parenting but didn’t get a response so trying here
What do you do if you can’t cope with your child’s behaviour anymore? She’s autistic and it’s too much, I can’t cope with it anymore I am on my own with her so no help or support (I also have other children) after another morning of hell I don’t know how to do it anymore, she’s 10 and the older she gets the harder it is becoming

Have you been offered outside support?

Same here @TurnUpTurnip been sobbing all night, cannot cope anymore.

Hi there,
We're really sorry to hear you're both having such a tough time. We think you stand the best chance of getting the best advice and support on our SEN board, so we are moving this thread over. We really hope that helps, and we're sending you our kindest thoughts (and most fervent hope that someone has practical advice that will help).

Phone the council children with disabilities team and ask for direct payments so you can buy in some support

Skysmiler how old is your DC? Do they have an EHCP (if in England)? Have you had social care assessments - a carer’s assessment for you and an assessment from the disabled children’s team for DC?

OP I replied on your other thread, but just wanted to reply to Skysmiler and didn’t want you to think I was ignoring your post.

Thank u all

An EHCP is currently in process

We have involvement with SS already, case has been closed but I called them again today.

He ran from our home at 9pm naked screaming help me, then when I got him back in he tried to climb out first floor window - spent the rest of the night waiting for the police to arrive....

I phoned SS and CAHMS today and begged for help

I cant cope

Skysmiler where are you in the EHCP process? Are the LA sticking to the timescales and have all the necessary advice been sought/requested? You can request a psychiatrist &/or clinical psychologist assessment via the EHCNA.

Contact can help you appeal decisions by children’s services. If the LA agree to issue an EHCP but you end up appealing it you can appeal the social care provision.

Have you had a carer’s assessment as well?

Sorry, depression is worsening...

Messaged the SEN contact at school and awaiting their response.

No I haven't

Skysmiler you can request a carers assessment yourself. Has an application for an EHCP been made to the LA?

How do I do that?

No he did not reach the threshold - on the SEN register.

He kicked me very hard and deliberately last night.

Tq @Imitatingdory

It is your LA’s social care service you ask for a carers assessment.

You can apply for an EHCP yourself, don’t let school put you off. IPSEA have a model letter you can use.

Have you read up on autism, done any courses? There's a great advice page on Facebook called ask the autistic adults where nd adults support parents of nd children.
My ds is 6 been diagnosed 4 years. Some things that help him include-
Set routine - planner with a daily list of what we are doing which we refer to everyday.
Planning/preparing new events - photos, talking about what to expect when visiting somewhere new.
Stims- spinning, jumping, repeating things all help keep him regulated
Sensory breaks - time away from noise/distraction use of technology helps with this
Chewelry and fidget spinner's
Lots of exercise
Indulging his 'interests' - he always has an obsession be it a book that has to be read over and over or a game we play 50 times a day.
Recognising when he's struggling and trying to manage it early before it escalates.
Not expecting him to behave/ react normally - if he does thinks that appear rude ie ignore people etc
Not pushing him to eat foods he doesn't like or wear things that feel uncomfortable.

There's a great theory some nd people use to try to explain how difficult life can be for them. It's called spoon theory. A nd person who feels happy and ok has ten spoons, a person in meltdown has no spoons. So going to a busy social place might use 8 spoons so that person would need a lot of help and support for rest of day as they are surviving on 2 spooons. An itchy top might take 2 spoons or a sudden change to plans might take 5. It's used as a tool to recognise the need for self care or advocation.

Outside support is so important do you have friends or family to help? Are school supporting child? Could she benefit from counselling? Or could you? Is there any other services that could help like a local autism support group?