To be completely and utterly unable to cope

[Twinklingstarface]

Possibility DD is autistic but high functioning. On waiting list and she’s 13. Her behaviour is starting to have the most horrific affect on our family and I’m not coping anymore. The screaming meltdowns when the slightest thing goes wrong, the selfishness, the phobias, the effect it’s having on all our relationships with her and others. It’s constant. We can never have a nice time. There’s always something wrong. How do I know what she can and cannot control. I’m so kind to her but then she takes advantage. I solve one problem and on to the next and I’m terrified waiting for the next explosion. I have no real knowledge of how to manage this. I’m exhausted and can’t get an appointment with my GP. I’m losing the plot. Can anyone advise. I feel we are just in no man’s land and we’ve been left to deal with this alone

I am so so sorry, it sounds like you’re having a really difficult time. Young Minds have a parent helpline and they can point you in the right direction. It’s a shame the GP won’t take this seriously, are they not giving you an appointment at all?

Hello didn't want to read and not reply, so much of your message resonates although our child is 5y we are experiencing lots of meltdowns and difficultys. I have know words of wisdom apart from a virtual i understand and try and be kind too yourself amidst all the chaos and stress xx

Hi thanks for replies @littleHen84 and @Schulte that’s so kind of you.
The GP referred DD she is on CAHMS waiting list. Could be a year . I keep trying the GP for myself but get told to take sick leave. Maybe that’s the right thing.

Maybe you could do with some support too, it’s not unusual for parents to have counselling when their children have mental health issues. Does your area offer any free mental health services for adults? Here you can refer yourself for CBT and talking therapy.

While waiting for CAMHS can you see if you can self refer to OT and SALT. In some areas you can.

How is DD at school?

Have you asked for social care assessments? A carer's assessment for you and an assessment via the disabled children's team for DD.

Do you get DLA for DD?

Sorry for all the questions!

@Twinklingstarface I hope you're ok! I'm in the same boat with my 7 year old. He controls absolutely everything from the way we walk to what we have for dinner to him going to the toilet as soon as I say I need to go. Anything and everything- he will disagree to and it has to go his own way.
I am struggling too, it's hard work. I hope you get the support you need from professionals! My son was labelled naughty and the school at the time blamed everything on my parenting but he was diagnosed with Autism eventually.

I'm sorry I can't offer help, I just wanted to say you're not alone and I really hope it gets better for you xx