HFA . Is there really no need for any kind of support or intervention?

[WhatAWaist]

I have a child with HFA. I’m convinced her school think I have plucked her diagnosis out of thin air .

She is very academic, she has a small set of close friends who she gets on fine with and is meeting all of her schools targets.

The other side of her is that she is very anxious in social situations outside of her few friends, she is unable to ask for help at school, she struggles with lack of sensory input, she hates school and she struggles to concentrate. She also still has ‘tantrums’ which are not typical for a child her age as she struggles to identify and regulate her emotions (never at school).

She does not need an EHCP and she does not need specific intervention but she is autistic and she clearly struggles with some areas of life.

The school SENco seems to be getting frustrated with me for even attempting to find out how we can best support her as in their eyes “she’s fine” and they do not have any concerns.

Is this it then? Do I just leave her to get on with it? I wanted to know how to support her when she moves to secondary next year.

Has anyone else encountered this?

The 'tantrums' are more likely meltdowns, and suggest there are unmet needs. It sounds like DD is masking at school and exploding at home, not unusual. Neither is it unusual for school not to see it.

Emotional and social development are just as important as academic ability. It sounds like DD does need specific interventions (which aren't just about academic ability) - social skills, emotional literacy, OT, SALT.

Do meltdowns have to be severe? I do have some experience of meltdowns in ASD children but DD is more like a ‘tantrum’ rather than a full scale meltdown. It’s hard to describe , but it is more inconsolable crying and frustration rather than a loss of control and anger. Would this be classed as a meltdown?

It usually happens when something has changed and she doesn’t like the new “plan” for her day or she has been asked to something she wasn’t expecting to do .

Yes, meltdowns can be like that. Your second post makes them sound even more like meltdowns than tantrums.

Change can be a big trigger for some with ASD.

An example being if she was asked to take a shower and she didn’t want to, she would stamp her feet and cry “no! No! No!” “Please no!” and become very very upset and cry. It looks more like a tantrum but it obviously comes from the lack of feeling in control and anxiety rather than disobedience. I didn’t however realise that would be classed as a meltdown. Thank you

She does not need an EHCP and she does not need specific intervention but she is autistic and she clearly struggles with some areas of life.

Just because she is very academic does not mean she does not need an EHCP and does not need specific interventions. Many high achieving children and young people have an EHCP.

My son went to a specialist college for students with autism. Many of his peers were very bright and articulate, and some went on to university. They all had an EHCP.

It sounds as though your daughter is already struggling as meltdowns are usually a sign of unmet needs. It is likely she will struggle even more with the transition to secondary school.

Do I just leave her to get on with it?

I wouldn't . A girl I know struggled on in secondary until she was 15 and then had a complete nervous breakdown.

If school is being unhelpful, I would apply for an EHC Needs assessment yourself. Specifically request assessments to also be carried out by OT (including sensory assessment) SLT (social communication and skills) and possibly mental health assessment from CAMHS or similar.

Information here:

www.ipsea.org.uk/ehc-needs-assessments

Tantrums stem from a child wanting their own way, whereas a meltdown is about being overwhelmed - be that sensory overload, information overload, emotional overload, unpredictability... Meltdowns are often the result of overwhelming frustration, these can present as inconsolable crying, especially in girls. You say they aren't typical of DD's age and she holds it in at school these suggest they are more than tantrums. What appears to be the trigger may not be the actual issue.

Some autistic individuals find showers a sensory nightmare, is that a possibility for DD?

Also, have you looked at PDA?

If you do apply for an EHCNA as Ellie suggests ask specifically for an assessment by a psychiatrist &/or clinical psychologist rather than just CAMHS. Otherwise the LA could ask anyone from CAMHS and it could end up being someone not highly qualified or experienced - someone I know was caught out with this when it was a band 4 CAMHS support worker.

@Ellie56 School are being very unhelpful and I’m beginning to feel like I’m being dramatic for wanting to know how to support my child. They shot me down when I asked about assessment and said they have no concerns and there’s no way they will assess her.

It’s so very frustrating as I know she may not be outwardly struggling but internally I don’t know?

@Imitatingdory I have come across PDA and I do think my dd meets the profile for this; I think this is where the refusal and crying over every simple request comes from.

Thank you both for taking the time to post some very helpful advice .

You can apply for an EHCNA yourself. Don't listen to the school putting you off, sadly that isn't uncommon either. Many parents are told the same, but successfully apply themselves.

I imagine if the school knew what they were looking for there are signs DD has unmet needs at school and is masking.

Definitely don't listen to the Senco. My autistic, very academic "he's fine in school" child is now 17. And it turns out...he wasn't fine at all.

You want to make sure she is supported with her transition to secondary school.

Could I really apply for an EHCNA without the school on board? The SENCO thinks I’m being very dramatic and seemed surprised I would even consider she has SEN as she is so academic.

The same SENCO said they did not believe dd would be diagnosed as she has no problems with her social skills ; and they are correct in the school setting she’s a social butterfly. Out of school she has no friends in spite of attending brownies with the same children weekly since rainbows .

Yes apply for an EHCNA yourself, explaining all these issues that the school doesn't see. If the LA refuses , appeal the decision. The majority of parents win Refusal to Assess appeals.

That SENCO sounds spectacularly useless and unhelpful. She needs to educate herself on how autism presents itself in girls particularly.

Many parents successfully apply without the school's support. There is case law suggsting it is possible to secure an EHCNA when the school could do more, but won't.

You don't need the schools support, although I'm sure that makes life easier.
I applied without Ds's previous school on board. In fact they were totally against it and warned me if I made a parental request, they would not support our application in any way.
They kept to their word and when we applied, the Senco told the LA that Ds did not need any extra support and what they were doing in school was sufficient. I've seen an internal email when she tells the LA she is 'shocked and surprised' at our application. She also had to fill in a form, but didn't even want to do that, and answered 'don't know' to most of the questions.

Definitely don't let the school put you off, if you want to go down that route. As it can be done, when they are against it.

I have a similar child. The wheels fell off dramatically in year 5/6 by which point school saw it. I wish I'd applied for an EHCP early enough to have had it in place for yr 7 school allocations (ie applying Summer term yr 5) as it was, we applied Feb yr 6 and finally got a suitable school in Jan yr 7.
You can apply without school suppport