Recognising Neurodiversity?

[BestZebbie]

I'm wondering - how do you recognise mild neurodiversity in your child if you might be mildly neurodiverse yourself?
I am noticing that my DS (7) has a few traits which none of his peers seem to have and which I find unusual - most obviously sensory overload leading to freezing up and curling into a ball several times a day. However, once I read about this, it always seems to appear on lists with loads of other things which he, I, and my father (in particular) do and which Ive always just taken as normal - they are normal behaviour in our family. Eg: echolalia, rocking, thumb sucking/picking type tics, special interests, hyper focus, very good at academics with the glaring exception of handwriting and organisation, very restrictive about acceptable clothing items, distress if routine is changed without ample warning/things must be done in particular orders etc. My son complains he is exhausted by school because although the work is easy he has to "concentrate just being there" and we have noticed he visibly "puts his game face on" as he approaches the school gates in the morning and changes demeanour ready for the day - but that is/was normal for me too? I'd say his language use is very good, social skills are average (he finds a lot of children confusing and silly but has a secure friendship group) and he loves pretend play.

Basically, I'm confused - I'd like to support my son and help him have an easier time in school than I had but I'm not sure if I'm working myself up with concerns about neurodiversity and a lot of the above is normal and/or just "being 7" (eg: it is normal for young children to have lots of dinosaur/Pokémon etc facts and want to talk about it). To be clear, my concerns aren't that he might be neurodiverse but that if he is and it isn't recognised he might have a harder time than if there are things we could do from now to help make his life easier at school and around -I don't want him to feel shattered and overwhelmed if some of that stress could be mitigated.

My Ds has a diagnosis of autism. His uncle, grand-father and father probably all have autism too. As I'm sure you know, while no one knows what causes autism, it is strongly suspected there is some kind of genetic link.

My DH has a job he loves, a few friends and has managed to marry and have a pretty happy life. He also had a fairly happy time at school. So is there any point in him pursuing a diagnosis now? Probably not. (Although many adults who are struggling find a late diagnosis helpful.)

My Ds, who is 12 does have a diagnosis. We decided to pursue it because he was having such a hard time at school. At home, we can 'control' his environment to ensure that any triggers/stresses are removed.

It sounds like your Ds is also struggling at school and for me, this would be the key factor. As he gets older and moves to secondary school he may find things get harder as the academic and social expectations ramp up.

The wait list for an autism assessment in my area is currently 2-3 years so it can't do any harm to start that process now. As I'm sure you know, to get an autism diagnosis you have to have significant, lifelong impairments in three areas.
It may be that your Ds doesn't meet the threshold.

If you do want to get the ball rolling, you can either speak to your Ds's school Senco and/or your GP. Take a list of your concerns. They can then refer on to either CAMHS or a community paediatrician to get your DS on the wait list.

I would say it's worth a conversation with the Senco anyway to discuss what they can put in place to support him now. A child needs to be supported with or without a diagnosis.

From your description, your DS sounds a lot like mine. My Ds has just started secondary in an autism unit attached to a mainstream secondary and he is doing much better than I could have hoped. I would say that getting the right setting and the right level of support for our DC is vital for their mental health - and it gives them the chance to achieve their potential.

Thank you, we have now started the process of talking to the well-being and senco staff at the school. :-)