ASD & Private School

[Lolly2803]

Hi! I have a 4yo son with ASD. He is summer born and I have kept him back from reception this year and plan to send him to reception in 2022. While academically he is not behind I felt emotionally he was so wanted to give him another year at pre school. He is very verbal, very sociable, loves learning and modelling from peers. He struggles a little socially but more from a boundary perspective. He doesn’t really have any sensory issues other than with food.
He goes to a mainstream pre school but I pay for private support with an ABA tutor. He is much better in a class with smaller numbers so I am worried about him thriving in a class of 30 so am considering private school for the smaller class numbers. Does anyone have experience of private schools and ASD? Any help or advice would be great. I’m in Surrey xx

Independent schools aren't always supportive of pupils with SEN, and when they are they often charge parents for the extra support.

Have you thought about applying for an EHCP?

Yes we are in the assessment process now. I had heard that. His twin goes to an ABA school and has an EHCP already. But they are polar opposites.

Just wondering if anyone had gone down the private route and had any experiences to share really. Or knew about private schools in Surrey and SEN etc

Our DS1 with ASD is in independent school (now yr6) - if you can find a supportive one then they will be much more attentive than the stretched state sector can be. Independent schools are often less chaotic, smaller classes (dc school has 15 up to yr2 then 18 yrs3-8), more structured in terms of timetables/subject differentiation, all of which often benefit those with ASD.
However,

• if likely to need lots of 1:1 you might have to pay for it
• you need to look at the smaller, less-middling academic schools. The academic hot houses are typically less keen on anything that might reduce their league table place.
• lots of independent schools set loads of homework (ours luckily doesn’t set much til yr5); lots of ASD kids really HATE homework as they feel a strong sense that school is for work and not home. DS1 is in this camp and I am so pleased we are light on hw.

Not anywhere near Surrey but good luck

Does your DS have a 1:2:1? We pay for 1:2:1 at pre school but I don’t think he’d need it forever or in all situations. We are applying for an EHCP. He’s been to pre school many times without 1:2:1 and been fine. We also wouldn’t be able to find 1:2:1 ourselves so would need it funded.
Yes all the benefits you say is what I’m thinking. My DS is so much better with structure and smaller more focussed environments

It massively depends on the child and the school. Both my DD's are autistic. Both attended state primaries but they were small village schools. Even though class sizes were 30, the school was small and standard of behaviour and education very high so they both thrived. DD1 really struggled when it came to secondary school - in fact we didn't even click that she was autistic until she was 13 and all the difficulties she was experiencing with secondary school then made sense. She is now in a private school and the small class sizes, high standards of behaviour and excellent SEN and pastoral support have made her life immeasurably better. DD2 is in Y7 at mainstream state secondary. Although diagnosed younger and in many ways has obviously struggled more, she is currently doing really well. School are responsive and supportive when things aren't going too well. So I think you have to see how it goes and just keep re-evaluating whatever setting they are in, private or state.

What I will say though is please, please look into the harmful effects of ABA. There is a lot of info out there. Some great groups led by autistic adults on Facebook who talk very convincingly about their first-hand experiences and advocate other ways to support autistic children. Feel free to PM and I can share details. Xx

If you want an independent MS named in the EHCP you will need evidence state MS can't meet DS's needs.

Why are you paying for 1:1 at nursery? If it is needed the nursery can apply for early years inclusion funding while going through the EHCP process.

I would second the fact that some private schools can be wonderful for children with ASD. My two went to one such school, and the support they had was brilliant. They never had or needed 1:2:1 but had SALT, OT and social skills training through SCERTs. I also know of friends with children with different needs to who to fund 1:2:1 themselves in a different school so do your due diligence carefully.

He is only entitled to a few hrs of inclusion funding and we pay for 1:2:1 ABA support as we feel he responds to it so well. The change in him is amazing. I can only speak as I find and the ABA tutors are amazing and lovely and he absolutely loves it. The progress he had made is phenomenal.

I am going to see a private school next week and have told them all about him. They also want to see him at preschool which I think is great. I don’t think he’d need 1:2:1 all the time but definitely to start with at points. Once he knows the structure and what’s expected he’s ok.
I would need EHCP to fund his support to be able to afford the school fees though.

I would need EHCP to fund his support to be able to afford the school fees though.

It is possible to get an independent MS named in the EHCP so the LA pay the fees and SEN support. Some LAs will sometimes come to an agreement where they pay for SEN support and parents pay the fees, but not all LAs will. Some LAs will state parents are making suitable alternative arrangements therefore they are relived of their duties.

Where are you in the EHCP process? Are the LA sticking to the timescales.

They have just agreed to assess. Just looking at schools at the moment. They have stuck to timelines ok so far but early days!

I moved my non verbal child from state to private and have never looked back.
It’s not just the numbers, although he went from a Class of 35 to 14 🙄

But
Increase in structure and order was calming
Calmer more focussed children (selective prep)
And the school absolutely refused to let him eat the same thing every day so they actually cured his food issues within a term!

But I find the Sen communication pretty lacking and if he wasn’t fairly straightforward case I’d being bright bit anxious, it might not have worked so well.

@ChocolateHoneycomb @SuiGeneris @lnsufficientFuns I am crashing this thread as am exploring private secondary school options for ASD. Could you please share any schools you are aware of? We are in SE London but can see if we can go a bit afar for right option.

@Lolly2803 only thing I would say from the last one yr of experience in a private secondary, please check diligently whether the school is willing to support some of the challenges around boundaries. It may not be as big an issue for your child in primary, mine in secondary and hence expectations on behaviour are so much higher. Good luck!

Sorry @WorriedMomSE
I’m actually in Manchester so no use

But if your child is able to hold his/her own academically it’s worthwhile

I went to a private school and absolutely hated the boorish jock ways of many kids, so that something else to check - make sure it’s not overly focussed on sports and has a balance for more sensitive children.

@WorriedMomSE
We have only been looking at mainstream schools - depends what your dc’s needs are - for us the middle rank in terms of academics but nurturing, relatively small schools seem to have the better SEND support and flexibility. Ask schools if they have pupils with ASD and what accommodations they have made.

There are a few downsides. 1, the school can literally turn round and say they no longer have a place for your child, more or less at any time. Your child doesn't have a guaranteed place. Vs state school they'd need to be expelled. 2, some private schools are less used to differentiating, whereas state school teachers should be used to it, and it IS a skill. Anecdotally, IME teachers who are good at differentiating also tend to see more potential in those who need it. 3, if you need extras at private school you are more likely to be expected to pay for them yourself. He's still very young, there's an argument for starting him in state until you have a clearer idea of what his needs are.

However all schools are different, and you'd have to weigh the above against advantages like smaller class sizes and less overcrowding in the physical space (so they'd be more likely to find somewhere quiet for him to go at breaktime, for example). And of course individual schools are so different.

When you look round, ask to meet the SENCo.

Have a look at Highfield & Brookham in Surrey/Sussex border. A dreamy pre-prep that is highly inclusive.

I would also look at state options with ASD specialist based attached.

I used to be a teacher and to be completely honest it will be luck of the draw each year if you get a teacher with good understanding or attitude. Of course they have some basic training but it is minimal and pressure on teachers to get results can mean SEN children are an after thought. This isn't true everywhere but schools with SEN staff and bases will have people championing your child and helping put in place the right provision.

Yer it’s such a hard decision! The independent school seem really lovely and have said they have 2 other asd children that have been with them since reception and now are in Y6. They say they can support their needs at the school and offered to put me in touch with that family. They’ve had a call with my sons current pre school and are going to observe him next term.

My son is verbal, amazing memory, very social. No real sensory needs and doesn’t have meltdowns. His struggles are socially sometimes he doesn’t understand boundaries or finds it hard if someone doesn’t want to play. And within a school setting sometimes doing what has been asked if he doesn’t want to do it, like writing for example. He will get there in the end but it may take a 5/10 min stand off!! He is so much better in a smaller class and he loves the outdoors which the independent school has in abundance. We are waiting for the EHC assessments but there’s a chance he won’t even get one. Or very little support. So I’m just trying to weigh it all up!

@Lolly2803

Yer it’s such a hard decision! The independent school seem really lovely and have said they have 2 other asd children that have been with them since reception and now are in Y6. They say they can support their needs at the school and offered to put me in touch with that family. They’ve had a call with my sons current pre school and are going to observe him next term.

My son is verbal, amazing memory, very social. No real sensory needs and doesn’t have meltdowns. His struggles are socially sometimes he doesn’t understand boundaries or finds it hard if someone doesn’t want to play. And within a school setting sometimes doing what has been asked if he doesn’t want to do it, like writing for example. He will get there in the end but it may take a 5/10 min stand off!! He is so much better in a smaller class and he loves the outdoors which the independent school has in abundance. We are waiting for the EHC assessments but there’s a chance he won’t even get one. Or very little support. So I’m just trying to weigh it all up!

Which school does he go to ?

Hello, can I check in and see where you got to with this? Did you go with the independent school? I’m also looking in Surrey for my son who has some additional needs. Thanks for any help you can give!

I would say depends on the needs. We actually went to a lovely state school in the end. Private schools have no funding for any support so anything you do has to be paid for and in my experience they understand needs less so you’d be better off in the state sector. Also depends on the level of need your son has.

Thank you! That is so helpful. Sounds like your son is getting really good support.

Private schools have no funding for any support so anything you do has to be paid for

An EHCP can fund support in independent schools.

Yes they can. But state schools usually have to fund the first 6k (15 hours) and private schools don’t. So a lot of the time they make the parents pay the first 6k. But not always, you’re right. There are exceptions. But usually those exceptions have involved tribunals and appeals and the school can also argue they can’t meet need so it’s really about visiting schools and then finding out whether they really are the right environment for your child. My son did get a place at private school but I decided against it. Have a look around and you’ll know.

If the school is named in section I of an EHCP the LA is responsible for the fees and SEN support. LAs will often tell you parents have to contribute towards fees or pay all the fees, but it isn’t true. It doesn’t always take an appeal either.

EHCPs can be fully funded. State schools do not have to fund the first £6k of SEP in EHCPs.

Private schools are a business. They don’t care about your child. They can do what they want (even though supposed to be under equality act they aren’t) if your child doesn’t fit their mould they don’t need to flex much - just good bye and next child in. Where as a state school would be more accommodating

They don’t always want the “hassle” of a sen child. Suppose it depends on their cash flow situation but if there is a NT child that is coming in why take the harder route of a sen child. Obviously that will depend on the head but eh ho.

well that’s my view / experience.

Plus long hrs of independents would you child cope and the lovely 11 plus 🤣

which school are you hoping for? @Boymummytimestwo obviously depends on what your sons needs are …..