Inattentive ADHD in teenager- hoping to find psychiatrist who will understand masking in school

[freckles20]

Hoping for advice on ADHD in my son and assessment please.

My 14 year old son has been struggling with his MH. It has been a long, scary and convoluted journey but he is now being seen regularly by a CAMHS case worker. She has flagged that he may have ADHD (probably inattentive type), based on how she has observed him when they are working together.

I did some research as I knew nothing about it and this was like a firework exploding in my brain- he seems a typical inattentive ADHD type and I do too.

She suggested a private assessment as the CAMHS waiting list is so long. She explained his presentation is typically 'femail' ie lots of masking. I booked a private assessment 8 weeks ago with a local face to face educational psychologist but they have cancelled today- and now can’t help!

So I am now looking to book another one. But I am a bit worried that he is so so good at masking at school that we won’t get taken seriously. His school have reported no issues with working memory, behaviour, remembering homework and equipment. However, I feel this is down to him masking, wanting to ‘be good’ and me helping and micromanaging him make sure he has everything he needs and his homework is done!

I have realised that part of the assessment will include sending questions to his school and that they will respond with ‘no issues’ . So I’m hoping to find a psychiatrist who can understand this.

So I guess I’m looking for advice, and maybe even a recommendation for a psychiatrist who understands that some people with ADHD can slip under the radar. I can find appointments with Psychiatry UK or the ADHD centre for him (via zoom), but there is such a range of psychiatrists to choose from!

Thanks for reading if you’ve got this far!

EPs can't diagnose ADHD.

As well as psychiatry UK you could try Clinical Partners, Priory or Maudsley. A psychiatrist experienced in diagnosing ADHD should spot masking. A diagnosis from someone who also works for the NHS is likely to be viewed as more robust.

DDs form from the school didn’t score high enough to show issues however she did have an Educational Psychologist report where the assessment was done at the school which clearly demonstrated inattention. I also had many school reports even from primary school with phrases such as ‘in her own world’, ‘needs to organise and stay on task’ etc. The psychiatrist (from psychiatry uk) was able to give a working diagnosis based on this and then a full diagnosis after a successful medication trial.

@freckles20 did you still need a recommendation? Your situation sounds exact like my 14 year old daughter. We went for a private diagnosis in London. Let me know if you want details

@freckles20.... Where to start! Your son sounds very like my DS1 13 and you sound very like me. I have recently realised that I probably have ADHD. DS EP report didn't mention ADHD, but he has been asking me recently. What have you been reading? I am interested to find out more too.

@Stuffragette - would love to know the the details of where you went in London as seeking similar.

I think I have a lot of my own issues to park here. When I was 10, I found a leaflet about ADD (as it then was) and my parents thought I had it. Since then I have masked and covered it up and been hugely ashamed of the whole thing. Now in my late 40s, I am sad that I didn't know and understand myself earlier and don't want to repeat this for my son. Is it better to have a diagnosis or is there still a stigma attached to ADHD. I hope you don't mind me asking this?