Dear all,
A good friend of mine is working as an aid worker in a developing country in Africa. Her husband is from another African country. Because of Covid + visa issues, she hasn't been able to visit Europe for a long time (at least not with her partner and kids).
Her son is 'different' and she is concerned. The school has indicated that he is showing traits of autism and declared that they cannot teach him. Unfortunately, English speaking schools are few there, so she doesn't have many alternatives. She has turned to several local paediatric psychologists, but they have arrived at opposing conclusions. Having an assessment here will likely take months on a waiting list.
In short: he is now 8. Can read/write and do maths OK for his year group. One psychologist even mentioned he may be gifted. However, he can be caught up in his own play and not want to 'join the class' for instructions. He doesn't look at you directly. He does not speak a lot, only when you are addressing him directly and insist he reply. He has no friends. Gross motor skills are also slightly difficult (cycling came late, swimming goes well). Gets focussed on certain things (tv, computer) and then screams if he has to turn it off. Very interested in certain topics (mechanics, history). He is also affectionate, understands feelings and gets along well with his siblings and cousins. With the right teacher, it worked well. Never aggressive, but will scream or run away if he has to do something he doesn't like. Unfortunately, as he is getting older, teachers have less patience. Although he doesn't bother others in the class, the teacher has to (sometimes physically) bring him back to the group sometimes (which obviously does disturb the others). At home, with strict parenting and clear rules, it works well (limited tv etc.). When he was visiting us two years ago, it was obvious that he is slightly different than the rest but he enjoys playing with our kids, is gentle, likes observing them. But from his posture (head always turned slightly away, never looking at you directly) you could already see that there is 'something'. And it is clear that when you ask him to stop an activity he enjoys that his response was more that of a two-year old than of an older kid (screaming, lying on the floor). His movements were also not as fluid as you would expect.
To be absolutely transparent, her younger brother also had similar traits while he was young. However, somehow, he grew over it, learned to adapt, finished college and now is fully functioning.
What can this be and what would you do if you were her? Suggestions are much appreciated.