which school setting?!

[PinkDaydreams]

Help!
I honestly don't know who or where to turn to for help.
Son has an autism diagnosis and this week we have been informed that he will receive an assessment for an EHCP which I understand takes up to 20 weeks.
What I'm umming and ahhing about is primary school choice. I honestly have no idea if mainstream with one to one help or a specialist school will be best for him?
Current nursery setting is three staff to four children as in the previous setting of 20-30 children he was getting lost and therefore many behaviour issues each day, and a continuation of distressing behaviour once home. Since the new 'specialist nurture class' he is absolutely thriving, he's doing so well which is heart warming to see. This makes me think he will need support when at primary school.
I'm due to view a mainstream primary school next week as I know I have to still apply the 'regular way', as the ehcp hasn't and may not be granted.
Has anyone any advice please?

Firstly, to 100% absolutely apply through Primary admissions so that you have a school place offer which you might, or might not turn down at a later date rather than ending up with nowhere for him to go.

Secondly, none of us can say as these things vary SO much school from school.
Even within our one Local Authority, there are brilliant, absolutely fantastic mainstream schools and then a huge spectrum through to schools that are really poor with their SEND practice and just everything in between. Equally, there are special schools (and resource bases) that are wildly different from one another.

My advice is not to think either "Special" or "mainstream" but to visit as many as is practical (and remember, with an EHCP you can request a place at a mainstream school that is not your local one if you feel it offers something another school doesn't), and then compare 'St Anywhere's' school with 'Anywhere's special school' and then 'Anywhere Avenue's First school' and 'Anywhere Avenue's Primary Academy Resource Base" etc etc etc.

I can tell you of a school near me that has been wonderful for my child, or a school that has been really obstructive, unhelpful and totally not right for my child, but that won't help you if you don't live in my street and have a child with the same needs and same strengths as my child. Go and look, and picture your child in that provision, then make a decision.

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply to me, I really do appreciate it. Your last paragraph has hit the nail on the head!

I'm honestly so confused but your advice has helped. I've got a mainstream school visit next week and then I need to try find another couple of mainstream schools. I did have a mainstream in mind that's won all sorts of awards and also outstanding Ofsted reports but I've spoken to a few people who have told me not to send son there as they aren't very supportive towards sen.
You're right though, I just need to go visit as many as possible and picture DS in them. I think I'm scared of making the wrong decision for him, what if he doesn't like it etc. DH keeps saying that things can change within a few months so he's thinking what if we choose a special school or mainstream but then come September time he starts the school but we then feel he needs the other school, we don't want to pull him out and have him start all over again in a different school as he doesn't like change.

As parents we obviously just want to do whats best for DS, as does every parent!

You are very welcome. It is a big decision and many parents at this stage feel they are making it a bit 'in the dark'.

I did have a mainstream in mind that's won all sorts of awards and also outstanding Ofsted reports but I've spoken to a few people who have told me not to send son there as they aren't very supportive towards sen.
IME, there is definitely a correlation between the schools that come out top of 'league tables' and outstanding OFSTEDs being the schools that are least welcoming to children with additional needs. Before everyone starts defending their school - there will be loads of exceptions to this, but there is a definite correlation which brings me back round to the concept of visiting where you can and imagining your child there.

As parents we obviously just want to do whats best for DS, as does every parent!
Of course, and the overwhelming majority of parents are the same, but when you have a child who you know is going to find school a challenge, it can sometimes feel like you are in unchartered waters.

The whole EHCP process takes 20 weeks from when a request was first made, not from when the LA agree to assess. Make sure the LA stick to the timescales, and you request all the necessary assessments e.g. SALT or OT. The assessments will help inform your decision.

I presume they nursery gave support in the old room before moving DS to the smaller room. Given the ratio in the current nursery class and the old nursery class had 20-30 pupils I would suggest DS is likely to need SS. The demands of school will only increase as DS becomes older. If DS can't cope in a MS nursery class he is unlikely to cope in a MS reception class.

We are in the same boat - I sent our DS to a very good ms school with small classes, but without SEN support (and no EHCP) he didn’t cope and they excluded him after about a week of him starting (he’s 4!).

We are now deciding on which school to try next - a local school with very good SEN support - they really know what they are doing, but its a big school and very inclusive so only has so much SEN to go round.
Or he could go to a different smaller school, but again if it doesn’t provide the support then I don’t see him coping no matter how small the class.

It’s a really hard decision, and I’m just commenting here for solidarity! I really hope you get what you need.

I hope you are appealing the exclusion, icelollies. If DS was permanently excluded within a week the school clearly didn't follow procedure. Px should be a last resort. Have you applied for an EHCP now? If school need more funding whilst DS is going through the EHCP process they can apply for high needs top up funding.

Thank you so much for all of your comments! I'm not being ignorant not replying straight away by the way!

I've had a Google of special schools in our area and am thinking more of an autism school would be better for him. @Imitatingdory I think you're right, I think he will struggle in ms primary with that amount of children in class.

@icelollies that is absolutely shocking and I'm so sorry that your child has been treated that way.

Pink you can find all the SS in your area by searching here. It is easier to search by LA, be sure to search any neighbouring LAs within travelling distance too. You can filter by special school. You can also filter by phase of education and type of needs, although this isn't always accurate for indie or NMSS because the schools don't always accurately record their data.

@Imitatingdory

Pink you can find all the SS in your area by searching here. It is easier to search by LA, be sure to search any neighbouring LAs within travelling distance too. You can filter by special school. You can also filter by phase of education and type of needs, although this isn't always accurate for indie or NMSS because the schools don't always accurately record their data.

Thank you so much for this, extremely helpful! Really do appreciate it.

Thanks for the link Imitatingdory

Fascinating to see the number of 'independent schools' registered as special schools that no-one has heard of in our LA, and in another way, quite worrying.

Kite one thing to take into account when searching independent SS is it includes schools in residential children's homes, so there may be several such schools in your LA registered for a few pupils each, and schools attached to MH inpatient units.

ah. Interesting. Thanks, I didn't know that.

I've been talking to my mum today and was saying that I think son will struggle with ms and she's suggested a main stream school with a specialist unit attached.

Had the mainstream school visit today and I'm feeling that unfortunately DS won't cope there. 60 children over two classes where they are free to roam between, two staff per class but whilst we were there there was only one staff member visible.
General feeling wasn't good sadly, o was asking about ehcp and Sen etc and they have NO children with an EHCP which has rung alarm bells for me.

Oh well, I've visited and that's what the visit was for, to get a feel for the school.

Another ms visit, much better feeling than the last one but I still don't think the setting will be right for DS. I do think he will need a special school or a ms with enhanced provision.
I've had a nosey on the gov website and will have a day of phoning round schools to arrange visits or a zoom meeting.

@icelollies do you mind me asking how you're getting on?

Hi PinkDaydreams,

We are just starting again at a different mainstream state school which has really good SEN support, and very understanding teachers with a lot of experience of diverse needs. So fingers crossed it goes well but its such early days for us! Especially as DS has been home for the last 2 months. But I thought he deserves a chance at a ms school.

We didn’t appeal the exclusion. They were clearly going to be hopeless, so seemed pointless.

We spent a lot of time talking to teachers in different schools, explaining the issues, getting an assessment. All the local independent schools with all their supposed SEN support refused to take him. So it has taken a lot of asking around, and visits, but i am thinking that if he cant manage at this new school, we’ll have to seriously re think options.

I hope it goes well for you, its so hard when our little ones don’t fit the mould. I have never felt quite so marginalised, and its been really hard, so you have all my sympathy, best of luck xx