If my DS has Autism would the school say something to me ?

[raingoawaytoday]

My mum worked in a special needs unit for 20 years with children age 3-5, many with ASD. The other day she came out with the nugget that we all know DS ( year 1, age 5) is autistic 🤷‍♀️ Now my DS has had a lot of struggles, some stimming -hand movements and noises, speech delay, very much into his fantasy world play and obsessive. Doesn't really play well with toys or others. Speech has really come on and stimming is gone. He's not into routine or order. So I've questioned myself but neither nursery, preschool or school have ever suggested he might be autistic. Our speech therapist even specialised in autistic children and never suggested I had him accessed. Is it something I had to suggest or would the school say something ? I'm open minded as in if it will help DS then I'd have him assessed. Or is my mother just wrong ?

Sadly, some schools are terrible at recognising autism, so just because they haven't raised it doesn't mean DS doesn't have ASD. Even when some pupils have a diagnosis it isn't uncommon for school to still not be able to see signs. Although one would hope the SALT would. It wouldn't hurt to have an assessment.

@Imitatingdory Do I just go via my GP ?

Yes, ask the GP for a referral for an ASD assessment. In some areas they are done by CAMHS and in others it's community paediatricians. Also, raise your concerns with the school and SALT.

I don't think teachers are allowed to say as they are not qualified.

When DS was in reception I had concerns that he wasn't 'settling' like the others - had trouble sitting still, always moving etc. At first parents evening his teacher said that he was young and they all settle differently but by the following parents evening when I asked she said that I should probably follow up with my GP and that she would happily have him assessed in her class.

When we got the ADHD diagnosis, the teacher said that she had expected that was the case form DS' first day. I asked her why she hadn't raised it, she said that it was school policy not to as they are not qualified.

Ask the teacher.

I had a weird conversation with the teacher about a Senco presentation. I asked should I go about DS speech and she said he's not under the Senco for his speech now, but you should probably still go. I'll speak to her again and just ask straight out now my mum has put the idea in my head again. Annoyingly throughout the last 5 years she's said he's fine. Then suddenly changes her opinion.

OP, DS should be on the SEN register.

LODReturn school staff may not be qualified to diagnose but they can suggest further assessments. So having a school policy of not mentioning it is failing their pupils.

I felt like I was going a bit mad when DS (diagnosed with ASD at 6) started school. I was used to friends and family not seeing it, which should have been reassuring but felt isolating, but had expected conversations with his teacher to be more in line with what we could see at home. Instead, they let us know about behavioural problems, but reassured us that he was the youngest in his year and all boys are a bit ‘demand avoidant’.

What do you think though, would you be thinking about GP assessment if your mum hasn’t mentioned it?

GP referral sorry, not assessment

@SmellsLikeTeenageBoys I wouldn't because although I have times when I am convinced there is something, I get all this reassurance from people ( and my mum previously) that his quirks are nothing to worry about and others children do that. It's just he's our oldest and as your Ds teacher put it all kids can be a bit demand avoidant. I do see some of the same things in friends children like growling and being cross when told to do something. I feel it could be PDA, but then he seems to go through an easy period. He can be very hard work at home when he's tired, but overall not a bad kid if that makes sense. I do find him exhausting because I suppose I manage him. He can't sit still but he's not hyper. Plus he spends a lot time acting out being a cat or being in a battle which is erm interesting 🐈‍⬛ ⚔️

I can relate to the ‘others do that’ thing too.

From my experience I would go with your own judgement. Make a note of all the quirky stuff and see what you think. Might it add up to something that would benefit from a diagnosis? If you decide to chat to the GP be clear that you want a referral as I don’t think they will give any definite answers either. I went by myself at first so that I could communicate everything I wanted to firmly without it being said in front of DS. I guess this part is probably done by phone now anyway!