Signs of autism in 3 year old

[booklover164]

If your child has autism, what were the key indicators aged 3?

DS is 3 and DH and I have always had in the back of our mind that he could well be on the spectrum.

He's very bright and able but struggles so so much socially. His eye contact is great and he's very empathetic. He's quite a fussy eater and isn't the best sleeper. He just finds other children really hard and struggles in social situations.

Thank you

Google 'M-Chat'. It's a screening tool that can show up possible indicators of autism in toddlers over 18 months.

As of course you know, autism is a spectrum disorder. No two people will present identically. My DS is in a resourced unit for children on the spectrum and every child in there is different.

My DS has good eye contact, he's always loved cuddles. He's great with adults, very engaging etc.

In terms of early signs though, for us - he was very late to speak. Had no words until he was around 4. He never pointed (this is an autism red flag) - eg he would never point at something of interest and then 'check back' to see if I'd seen it.
He never brought me things to show me. He's always been terrified of other children. (He calls his classmates 'the children' now, as if they're a different species!)

He used to 'use' me as a tool to get things - eg lead me to something he wanted and then put my hand on it.

Huge separation anxiety from me (still has). Hated sudden loud noises such as hand-dryers and hoovers. Big issues around food. Will still only eat about 10 things (and they're all beige!).

Is your DS at nursery? If so, have they raised any concerns?

@Toomanyminifigs thank you so much for taking your time to get back to me. This is all very interesting. I don't think my son does does most of the things you have described in your post.

Nursery have said that that they've noticed that he's struggling with other kids. I just don't know how to help him play nicely with them.

I did the m chat diagnostic tool and it said that he was low risk. He has occasionally shows stimmy behaviour ( fingers in front of his eyes) and when I put ticked yes to that, it put him at medium risk ( 3). I think he's done it a couple of times in his life so a tricky one!

How old was your son when he was diagnosed?

My son was given a diagnosis of 'social communication disorder' around 4/5 and then a diagnosis of autism at 8/9. There is a very long wait time to be assessed where I am in London (at least two years) and I imagine it's even longer now due to the Covid backlog.

Even though my DS was my first/only child, I knew something wasn't quite 'right' though from when he was about 18 months. His development was just so different from other toddlers.

In what way are you worried about your DS not interacting with other children? Does he ignore them? Does he play alongside them rather than actively taking part in play?
How is he with you? Does he play with you at home? Show you things? Want to engage you in his world? Does he play with toys?