Phone call after introduction day!

[Chelleh]

my ds (11) diagnosed adhd and asd had his introduction day at the new secondary school today ready for a year 7 start in September.
Unfortunately he really struggles with peer groups and correct socialisation, he has an iep for both accademic work and behavioural work.
Unfortunately today after we got home i had a phone call from his head of year to let me know of two incidents he had today. He had a scrap with another boy and pushed a girl on the arm. Ive tried to talk to him but he wont talk back.
Where do i go from here? I have no idea how this can be managed if the first time he is in this school i have had phone calls, he hasnt even started there and already will have a reputation!
Any advice or anything?

Your poor DS! And you too. My DS has ASD and is also starting secondary in Sept. I am terrified for him!

What was the head of year's attitude when they called you? I take it they know about his diagnosis? Did you talk about what they're going to put in place in Sept to support him?

Have you had any contact with the Senco/head of inclusion at his new school? If I were you, I be on the phone to them on Monday. It's in everyone's best interests to ensure his transition goes as smoothly as possible.
Some schools offer extra visits for children with additional needs. It might be worth asking if he could go back in again before September so he has a positive memory of his new school before he starts.

I would also speak to the Senco at his primary on Monday to flag up what's happened. It's their job to help with secondary transition too.

Hopefully this is just a blip but you're right to want to address this asap. Some children with ASD prefer secondary school as things are more predictable in terms of lessons/ there are more opportunities to meet DC with similar interests/structured lunchtime clubs etc.

Definitely speak to the secondary's SENCO, especially to discuss additional transition visits and what SEN provision the school are going to put in place to support DS.

Do you think DS needs an EHCP?

He had a visit with the primary senco with a few other students on a tour and a visit with me and some other students on another tour. Due to covid they arent offering any other transition visits.
I dont know what more i can do, i am getting almost daily messages from his primary teacher about unkind words and throwing work etc.
He knows its unacceptable and we have consequences at home and at school but i just dont know how he will be able to cope.
I think on monday i will ring up his primary semco and explain what's happened.
I think he needs an ehcp but school havent offered an assessment for one.

You can apply for an EHCNA yourself. IPSEA have a model letter you can use.

Disruptive behaviour is usually the result of unmet needs.

Follow up any telephone conversations with an email so you have a paper trail.

Is DS medicated for his ADHD?

Yes he takes 2 meds for his adhd, 1 long release in morning and 1 top up at lunch.
Will have a look at how to apply for an ehcp.
Thanks for your advice

OK. Now I've heard a bit more about your DS's story, I would echo what @10brokengreenbottles has said and suggest you look at applying for an EHCP as soon as possible for him. It sounds like he's barely coping at primary school. The primary school don't sound like they're being great TBH.
Daily calls home clearly indicate that they're unable to support him at the moment. Keep a record of them all as this can be evidence.

As I've mentioned on other threads, I was fobbed off by my DS's SENCO saying he'd never get a Plan. I got the ball rolling myself. I printed out the template letter on the Ipsea website. The legal benchmark for getting a child assessed (despite what some councils will try and tell you) is very low.
Try and get the letter emailed over to the council next week as obviously the summer holiday is approaching.
There are some very helpful knowledgeable people on this board who can give good advice. Plus Ipsea and SOS!SEN - they offer free phone advice. Although I know it can be hard to get through.

You need to start getting all your paperwork together now - any reports you have for DS - his diagnosis letters/anyone he's ever seen eg: EP/speech and language etc. Copies of his IEPs, levels of attainment etc.