School photo

[Cornishqween]

So my son is 8, fairly certain he has an ASD although we are awaiting his assessment next month for clarification. He is high functioning and managed to mask quite well at school but finds this very tiring. School is mainstream and doesn't have a good history with Sen kids unfortunately.

Yesterday was school picture day which I new could be tricky as my son is very unlikely to want to confirm to how the head likes them to look for photos. He will refuse to wear trousers and a jumper as they feel constricting no matter which type we try.
Yesterday I was impressed as he got himself up, wetted down and brushed his own hair (which is a small miracle for him as he hates it), brushed his teeth and chose some items he was comfortable with. This happened to be a white school polo (without the logo as these scratch) and some grey shorts and socks.
When I picked him up at the end of the day he was Visibly upset because he says the teachers forced him to put on a jumper from the lost property. This is clearly because they wanted all the children to look the same, I.e to have a jumper with a logo on it. I asked him if he told them he didn't feel comfortable in a jumper and he said two teachers said he 'had to' put it on and wouldn't back down until he did. This was in front of the class.
I know this isn't a huge deal (to wear a jumper briefly), but to my son this felt like being ganged up on and a loss of control. He is able to choose his own clothing (as long as it is part of school uniform code) at home because we found this helped him to get ready in the mornings, a battle which had raged on for years.
Would you message the teacher and just briefly say that in future if he chooses not to wear a jumper and they don't like it to leave him out of the photo? Or would you leave it alone entirely for the sake of good relations with the teacher?

Personally I would message, but I would phrase it in a way asking their advice. Maybe ask to speak to the SENCO teacher about it. I would say that this is very distressing for him so you would like to discuss options, as he finds it extremely uncomfortable wearing the jumper. If they insist on the jumper then I would say don’t take his photo then.

My son was the same about the tie for the school photo. Sometimes he’s ok wearing a tie but other days he feels so uncomfortable. He got very distressed the day of the photo and said he was not going to smile. His photo came back where you can see how upset he was but was trying to hold it in.

@Cornishqween

The school may not "have a good history with SEN kids", but that doesn't mean they can ignore the Equalities Act 2010 by failing to make adjustments for children with disabilities.

A child or young person is disabled if they have a physical or mental impairment which has a substantial and long-term adverse effect on their ability to carry out normal day-to-day activities (section 6 of the Equality Act 2010). Your son does not have to have a diagnosis to be considered disabled.

Schools are legally required to make reasonable adjustments for pupils with disabilities. Not to make reasonable adjustments can be construed as disability discrimination.

I would be making a complaint that they failed to make a reasonable adjustment for your child by letting him wear his own jumper and that the staff need awareness training about disability and their legal obligations. You could refer the school to this document:

www.equalityhumanrights.com/sites/default/files/reasonable_adjustments_for_disabled_pupils_1.pdf

Page 5 talks about reasonable adjustments in School Uniform policies.

More information here:

www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/education/resolving-differences/england/disability-discrimination