ASD and 'special occasions'

[sharalanda]

It's only recently we've realised DS is likely to be diagnosed with ASD. With this new knowledge (assuming it's the case) I was hoping someone could help me understand special occasions better. Any day that's not a normal day like Easter or a birthday is hard for him. I know this and I sort of get why but I'd like to try and understand a bit better how he's actually feeling and how I can make it easier. Thanks.

We used to:

Talk about the details of the day
Encourage him to take part in planning even just stuff like which crisps shall we have? Or shall we go for a walk before or after lunch?

As I understand it, it’s about relieve of anxiety and we’ve always taken that approach

Sometimes for a big day like Christmas we used to prepare by reading Christmas stories

My son still can’t cope with fireworks so firework night was always a non event for us, if you know what his triggers are you can usually seek to mitigate them

How old is he?

Thanks @FrozenVag. He's 8

My 12 year old ASD daughter describes Christmas and birthdays as hell.

She hates surprises so presents are always a struggle. Especially if she has to open them in front of people. We've found that at Christmas we gradually put the decorations up, in fact we had minimal decks up as the transition upsets her but she does like the lights, just not everything up at once. Christmas Day she basically knows what she's getting and prefers to take a couple of gifts at a time to a quiet space to open. Birthdays is the same.

Lots of talking and social stories about events before they happen. A countdown works well for us.

And if on the day she doesn't co operate its fine we let her be.