I have 2 ASD kids, late teens and verging on adulthood. I love them entirely.
But it's been hard parenting them, especially through their teenage years. I find myself feeling like I'm always walking on eggshells, to avoid saying things that might "trigger" them - there's little laughter in our house, because they misunderstand us (parents) and take offence and get upset.
I guess we also misunderstand them, to not always know beforehand what they will find upsetting. So almost every encounter is fraught and a potential opportunity to upset or be upset myself. Each and every day.
My trouble is that I can't ever see them growing up and becoming very different to how they are now. I know it's not the maternal ideal, but I am looking forward to my kids leaving home - to them growing up, to not having to constantly bite my tongue or mentally parse every thought before I speak. I feel guilty that I'm looking forward to their departure.
I feel worse because I think the autism is the issue that I can't adapt to (the irony!) and that is something my kids will have all their lives, not something they will grow out of. I mean, I try to accommodate their needs, as a result of the autism, but it's hard work.
I guess I'm just here to moan about how hard, tiring and some times heartbreaking it is to parent my autistic children. And I don't see it getting any better, possibly easier if they leave home but I know that actually that will bring with it a whole new level of difficulty for all of us.
Anyone else who is worn down?