Struggling mum

[Ebp85]

My beautiful 5yo is struggling so much with many different things.

The worst one is sensory processing with clothes. Just bought new clothes, OK for a day now hates the feel of everything. Just don't know what to do for the best.

Tried flash cards, which took some things away but as soon as the getting ready stops and cards are away she meltdowns. Just delays it. She really can't control how she feels.

No one can touch anything or wrinkle anything. I've even watched her going up to her 1yo sister and hitting her head says sorry straight away.

Suddenly she can no longer listen or follow through with a basic request, like it's forgotten. Eg sit on sofa if watching TV, will be up 2 seconds later jumping around in front of it. Used to be good at table for meals and suddenly all over the place, up down, won't use knife.

Cant handle what she expects for a meal being wrong. 2 sausage rolls instead of 3, cucumber circles instead of sticks, pancake ends need removing and happy.

And so many other things... Doesn't cope with routine change, rituals, very literal, can't handle me leaving, getting funny about foods with skin to name a few. We ticked most things on a health questionnaire from peaditricans which surprised me.

I'm sad and exhausted for her. Struggling having no one to speak to about it.

Had a 2hr assessment with school nurse and Paediatrican apt in a few weeks. I'm guessing from questionnaire stuff it's focused at autism/aspergers.

Be good to have advice from others who have experienced the same, any tips welcome. Just want my daughter to be carefree and happy all the time.

I don't know if you'll see this, but I noticed you didn't have any replies and I know how hard it can be when you feel really alone and just don't know where to turn.

It does sound like an ASD assessment is the way to go for now. My DS has ASD and although he doesn't have as many of the sensory issues as your DD has, it's still a real struggle at times, especially when you see their peers doing things so differently.

I hope you get some answers and some advice on how to go forward. I think something I have had to come to terms with is that my child's "normal" isn't going to be the same as another child's "normal", and that can sometimes be a difficult realisation.

Awww thank you so much. I think so too now I've done some research and luckily a little chat and no persuasion needed they have referred her for assessment. School nurses have also stressed how much stress she is experiencing at school with her need to have an hour after to literally teach her imaginary class everything she has done at school word for word. Makes me sad but I guess that's her coping mechanism so trying not to take offence and use the time with my eldest to catch up on her day.

@Ebp85

Don't know whether you've seen this?

www.falkirk.gov.uk/services/social-care/disabilities/docs/young-people/Making%20Sense%20of%20Sensory%20Behaviour.pdf?v=201906271131

I’m glad you have an assessment for ASD coming up as I was thinking of this as I read your comments. Your daughter might benefit from wearing ear defenders to dampen the noise around her. Argos sell simple children’s ear defenders but they may not be enough, my daughter has Sony noise canceling headphones for example and is much happier with them (come to think of it I must get her to wear them when we are attempting teeth cleaning!!). It can be challenging raising a child with ASD. Well done you for seeking help and information. I hope the assessment goes well for you.

Think they said its about a year's wait but at least we are in the system. Makes me even more glad I spoke to the GP after now badly this weekend is going. I've actually been thinking about headphones, the more I think about it the more I realised she has struggled with transitions. Thanks for the tip about argos, will check that one out. Got her a fidgit toy to see if that helps her keep still at times she needs too.

Hi sorry I meant Amazon not Argos. What has been so bad this weekend? It could be that your daughter misses the routine of school days and may struggle with free time’ at the weekends. Perhaps you could make a visual timetable together for the day do that she knows what is going to happen? The National Autistic Society website has lots of content in it that you might find useful. It’s tough, I know, I’m sorry xx

I’ve just thought, your daughter might like weighted toys or a weighted blanket on her lap to help her sit still.

Just to say that the special needs chat board has lots of useful info too