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Here you'll find advice from parents and teachers on special needs education.

In utter despair with school! Help!

1 reply

littleeggcup · 30/11/2020 09:45

I need help and advice 😞 currently in utter despair.

My son is 8; 9 in January. He has been diagnosed with adhd and asd; this was nearly two years ago now.

He was diagnosed by an extremely reputable child psychiatrist who previously had worked for our local Camhs and the priory.

At the time my son attended a great private mainstream school. They help with his diagnosis as they saw what we saw; this was amazing as his state school before just labelled him as naughty.

Fast forward to May this year and his school unfortunately closes! Gone into administration.

We find another local private mainstream and he started in September. We do not think they accept nor believe his diagnosis.

When I first came to the school I mentioned I’d like to see the Senco to sit down and go through his needs and what has worked well at previous school. This didn’t happen- for ages. Son being told off and coming home upset as he’s been moved down on behaviour chart for wiggling in his chair- well he has adhd?? I told them to get him a wobble cushion/fidget toy. They have only JUST got these in last two weeks.

The wobble cushion is still deflated; my son has asked for this to be blown up and the teacher won’t do so.

The headteacher taught them on a Thursday; gave son postit notes to use when he needs a movement break; his teacher comes back next day and removes these from my son and said he doesn’t need them.

I had a meeting before Oct half term with head and senco. “We don’t think he has adhd he’s such a lovely happy boy.” Great. But they said they’d get him to have sessions with the ELSA when he came back; not happened.

On going issues with classmates; only 14 of them in there and whole year.

This weekend; my son scratches his face badly out of frustration and says he has started to scratch his arms at school too. Utter despair over this. He used to do this when toddler; haven’t seen him do this in a long time. Is this the beginning of self harm??

I feel as though they got him a wobble cushion and fidget toy to pacify me. To shut me up. Not for my son. I feel like I did when my son was in year R/1 when no one believed me.

I have emailed the school this morning and have said my son is not going in until an emergency meeting is held; as this can not go on. I do not feel supported nor do I think my son is too. I do not think my son is safe; I do not think his well-being is being met. Is this fair of me to do so?

Am I overreacting?

Why would a CAMHS/Priory doctor diagnose my son if he didn’t have adhd or asd??

I don’t know what to do. An even bigger issue is that my son can’t see this doctor as he’s not practising anymore!! So CAMHS won’t help us unless the school are on board and they have already filled forms out (conners etc) and the school refuses to let me see what they marked down for him! I guess because they know I’ll be mad!

My son also needs melatonin; his GP has said this but it won’t be prescribed by them only by Camhs!? It’s all a joke. Camhs won’t accept the private diagnosis by the way!! Even though the doctor worked there, they even said they knew him. Frustrating!!

I just don’t know what to do? Do we find a new school? We pay for this school, I thought we’d get better support. I haven’t even met his teacher!!

OP posts:
Namechange600 · 07/12/2020 22:13

So sorry to hear this. Your poor boy. Sounds very frustrating. It sounds like the school aren’t taking his diagnosis seriously enough. Maybe they don’t have much experience of Sen and so are trying to minimise it.
They are not giving adequate support IMO and your son is demonstrating this by his scratching/self harm behaviour borne out of frustration. I would ask for a meeting ASAP with teacher and SENCO and work out how they will support and say what happened i the last school. Would possibly look at other options too if the meeting isn’t all that encouraging,
Best of luck

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