Anxious about third baby- connected to SEN DC

[sundowners]

Hi all,
Not sure where to post but hoping ok here.
We always wanted 3 kids and are fortunate enough to be pregnant with third DC. Have a boy with SEN but pretty high functioning and a daughter.
Just found our third is a boy. I hate to be one of those people but its made me really anxious. I truly thought Id be over the moon with either, but clearly as my daughter was my most recent baby/ is NT - clearly was hoping for another girl as statistically less likely to have ASD and she was my last NT child. I adore boys, really longed for a boy with my first pregnancy and was so happy when I got him.

I know I sound awful and selfish so am hoping to hear some clarity- even telling me to buck up- but think a lot of my disappointment is factored around I associate boys because of DS with having SEN and girls with being NT... I know this isn't the case. I'm depressing myself in my thoughts when I was so happy to be pregnant. I know I will love him once he is here.
Would love any families with SEN kids who went on to have more to share, as well as a families of 3 and what your set up is like? Thanks.

I don't have any experience to share. I'd maybe ask MNHQ to move this on over to the SEN Board where you should get a few posters with experience

Thankyou x I will do

I completely relate. DS1 has asd and is wonderful but was a particular handful when younger and has caused me a lot of anxiety. DS2 probably not neurotypical but very different to ds1, no diagnosis of asd or anything else and is a complete darling. Third pregnancy caused me much anxiety, by DD1 came along - similar problems shortly after birth to other 2 - small, tongue-tie etc but actually, since her birth the anxiety has gone. I feel I’ve got this now. Life can throw me any curve balls it wants but I feel I can parent. You’re right, you will love them anyway. Pregnancy was very hard though. I think third time round you’re so much more aware of what can go wrong. Keep the conversation going with midwife and consultant if you have one. You’ve got this parenting lark though - whatever happens.

I know the feeling. When we had dc3 I didn’t realised dc1 had SEN just that settling into school was hard despite the fact she knew so much and was very articulate. Dc3 also a girl like no1. There were a few similarities (another v poor sleeper😩) but now she is into school I can see she isn’t the same at all and doesn’t have the same challenges, maybe a tiny bit around sensitivity and some other minor health stuff but overall the Sen isn’t there... I hope that reassures you, I was so worried until she started school but very quickly it was clear it wasn’t the same level of issue- good luck