SEN - Prep school VS mainstream primary - Any advice greatly welcomed!

[Emzi1981]

Hello everyone,
I'm new to Mumsnet but was hoping for some advice from others. My boy is just over 3 with general developmental delay. He is now beginning to say some words, was very late walking and suffers terribly with allergies and ezcema. We are yet to get any kind of diagnosis due to his age so I don't know if there is an issue but I suspect he will need support come primary school.
We are due to start at a prep school but we have been told by them that basically he'll get given a certain amount of time and then there will be a conversation.
On the other hand we are debating moving house in time to get into one of the very good primary schools in Hitchin.
I don't know what to do!
Has anyone had a similar experience? thank you!

Many MS indies aren't brilliant for DC with SEN, and even when they are parents are charged for the additional support. If you go down this route you should have a frank conversation with the school prior to applying.

You should apply for an EHCP, which will give DS the support he needs and allow you to name a suitable school that you otherwise wouldn't normally get in to.

Thanks very much for your advice - sorry but what is MS indies?

Our ds with ASD and dyslexia is at a mainstream private school. It is a small school with high academic standards achieved by the majority but the smallness makes it pastorally incredibly supportive. We have never paid extra for anything but a few specialist dyslexia textbook resources. His initial state primary didn’t support him at all - they said he was ‘meeting expectations’ for his age so despite him being anxious, having panic attacks, trying not to go some days etc we were ignored. The teachers were clearly so stretched by other kids with greater needs that they really couldn’t do much for ds.
Ds has high functioning ASD, i.e his abilities are not below the normal range overall and he hasn’t needed vast amount of 1:1 so not sure how it would compare to your son’s needs, but if you think he will be ‘mild’ on the SEND front a small, nurturing private would be a good option. If he is going to need much more support than that I agree with the OP that applying for an EHCP would be the way to go, as only state or specialist independent schools are likely to provide what is needed.
Good luck!

Sorry, MS = a mainstream school. My post was shorthand for "Many mainstream independent schools..."

Chocolate you are very lucky to have found such a supportive school. Sadly from what others post on here and I hear IRL it is unusual.

All schools are individual, and you will find individual stories where an experience has been brilliant for a child and individual stories where it has been awful.
In my 30 yrs + in education though, overwhelmingly Private schools do not support dc with significant needs.
I think the very fact that the school have already told you "he'll get given a certain amount of time and then there will be a conversation" says a lot. Their "starting point" - before they have even met / worked with him - is that he isn't likely to last there.

Thank you for your advice and help - all taken on board!