What's it like having carers in your home?

[chunkyrun]

I ask this as a carer. My house is a bombsite and I'm looking super ugly right now. I'd hate to have to have anyone in my home. When I'm at work I'm always aware that my work place is someone's home. They're human like myself. I support two young ladies with complex health needs. One has been moved out of a lovely big bedroom and own wet room to a tiny box extension next to the shed and now has bed baths. Her mums partner felt self conscious having carers in and out, felt he couldn't relax. The other young lady lives in the cleanest home I have ever been, her family must never have off days. Her parents relationship sadly broke down when her dad retired, he's now moved out. One of the contributing factors was that he couldn't just move and relax around the house with carers always there. I always wonder if there's anything we could do to help make family life easier, especially now people are home more with coronavirus.

After my uncle had a stroke, my Aunt had different carers in to him over 10 years or more.

One thing that use to annoy her was presumptions - particularly around their names....... i) se was of an age where she would have happily have been called "Mrs Good" but everyone waltzed in and not only used her first name, but shortened it, to a common shortening that she never used. It just set the whole thing off on the wrong footing with each new carer - she had to make the decision as to whether to 'look awkward' on their first meeting, or ignore it but secretly resent it. Just ask what the person/ people would prefer to be called.

She wasn't bothered, but I can imagine as I read too much MN there would be a LOT of outrage at not putting shoe coverings on when you get to someone's house

I think it is REALLY important to offer the client as much choice and autonomy as possible. They are already in the position of having to have people come in to care for their basic (and often personal) needs. It isn't a position any of us would choose for ourselves. The more dignity and autonomy they can retain, the better. (I am aware decision making might be difficult for some clients. I am also aware that most carers are under ridiculous time restraints so can't take as much time as they might like to)

A balance between not "being nosey" and asking direct questions all the time, and yet "being interested" in the person and perhaps who they once were / what they used to do / what they would like to do or be in the future / what they have a passion for. (Again, I realise that is difficult when you don't get much time with a person, and each person is different)